UPDATE: Taping Pre-Paid Business Reply Envelopes To Packages Does Not Work
Yesterday we told you that one way to get back at junk mailers is to tape their business reply envelopes (BRE) to heavy boxes and send them back, but it turns out this doesn't work. It used to, up until the mid-90's you could apparently tape a BRE to a coffin and the Post Office would mail it. Now, BRE's can only be used the way junk mailers want them to be used, for the conduct of junk-mail related transactions.
The rule is covered under the official Post Office Domestic Mail Manual code 8.4.6, "BRM may not be used for any purpose other than that intended by the permit holder, even when postage is affixed. In cases where a BRM card or letter is used improperly as a label, the USPS treats the item as waste."
Basically, assuming the Post Office is paying attention and cares, the only thing you're going to be hurting by taping a BRE to a box of bricks is your Postman's back and the environment. While you're sitting at home cackling and stroking your mustache, they're throwing your crap away.
Instead, sign up to opt out of most junk mail at optoutprescreen.com, write or call places who send you junk mail and ask to get off, and never give out your real address unless necessary. You can still, of course, fill the BRE back up with junk mail and send it back. Or thin metal files.
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Comments:
So does anyone know if you could stuff the envelope with other junk mail and then send it back? I mean, how would the post office know what's in the envelope at that point? Granted it's not as good as sending 10-lbs. of my rottweiler's already processed kibble for the week but it's got to annoy them at least a little. Do unto others as they have done unto you.
@jnrmrtn: Don't you mean "dung unto others as they have dung unto you"?
I like sending all the political flyers to random companies so they can be informed what's going on in my local elections.
@Ben Popken: BTW, I know it's off topic, but I loved you were on NPR's "Wait..Wait" a few weeks back. I have the same problem that guy did where everyone calls me "mam & miss" on the phone. Drives me nuts.
@jnrmrtn: As long as it meets the Post Office's weight/size requirements for a letter, I'd assume. You probably can't stuff it full of rocks.
@EvilConservative: I guess if they can identify who they sent the mail to, and that they are sending back junk, mabye they would stop sending you stuff??
@QuantumRiff: ...they would stop sending you stuff??
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Thanks, folks, we'll be here all night.
How about sending back an empty envelope instead?
(1) The business still pays the postage.
(2) Your "junk mail sucks" message still reaches its target.
(3) It's easier - no sorting out identifying info.
(4) You can recycle the rest (the business might not recycle).
It's easy enough to seal the envelope and drop it back in the mail. All this sorting, shredding and re-stuffing requires enough effort that most people won't bother.
Speaking as one who helps create all that junk mail you hate, the bricks, empty envelopes or taped to a box of raw chicken (actually happened) makes little difference.
If an advertiser gets 2-3% response on a direct mail piece, any costs you may have incurred them is nothing.
Most direct mail response is handled by housewives who take part time jobs at fulfillment houses. My clients rarely hear about any of the weird 'sendbacks' (if any) from direct mail campaigns.
But, if it makes you feel better to try and mail a goat back to Nestlé, rock on!
@EvilConservative: What do you mean "Yes, it does work"? How could you possibly know whether the post office is delivering these things and charging the advertiser, vs. just throwing them away?
This tactic strikes me as juvenile and passive-aggressive.
@jnrmrtn: That is what I've been doing for years! They only pay the postage for those envelopes when they arrive back at their post office. I send them back EVERYTHING they sent me (including the outer envelope) as well as a couple of good deals from the Local ValuPac. Anything to drive the weight over 1 ounce. I'm down to only about 5 junk mails a week. Capital One and a bunch of non-profits due to a recent donation to KEXP 90.3 here in Seattle.
I always try and stuff my return envelopes as full as I can. Sometimes I have to tape it shut. If it doesn't fit through that sizing slot they have for flat mail, I think they get charged more. I try to put heavy stuff in it as well. Anybody have a good sticky substance that doesn't dry that could be put inside to screw up the automated machines that open the envelopes?
wow. i mean c'mon guys. its just junk mail. don't let it control your life. me personally i have bigger fish to fry than giving some poor underpaid sap who has nothing to do with the people in charge of putting you on or off a list, a mess to clean up. i'm sure that mailroom guy doesn't get off on his job, and probably works it because he has bills to pay also. i use to telemarket. do i like telemarketers? no. but it was a job man. life is too short. when your on your death bed, you may wish you could get the time you wasted mailing futile junk mail back to senders back. don't any of you have kids? forget the junk mail and spend more time with them. they deserve more of your time than junk mail does, and you'll definately make a bigger difference.
@mopar_man: You could try filling envelopes with high strength fishing line.
I don't do this because I feel bad for whoever has to open the envelopes and deal with the shit inside. Their day probably sucks a lot more than mine, on average.
i work for a company who employs a mail room and i can tell you, there is no regulated do not mail list. most companys have one though so they can save a stamp if they realize you'll never need or want their services. and if the mail room we employ ever gets these return mail bombs, i can tell you me nor my boss never hears about it, let alone cares. in fact my boss is the kind of guy that if he did know you were doing it, he keep sending things to you just to tick you off. he's the boss, but its not even him losing money on these business replys. its the big wig owners, and you think they give a crap about a few more hundred dollars being spent on mail returns? its called the cost of doing business.
@Canadian Impostor: I actually write messages like, "Just quit. This job sucks anyways." or "Just walk out the door and tell your boss to go F$&k himself on your way out" and place them in the envelopes and mail them back in hope that it will inspire someone to do something better with their life than open envelopes for the man.
@jnrmrtn: You can do the thing with stuffing junk mail into the envelope. I did that for years.
A caution, though: once I did that to a company who'd sent me an invitation to some sort of subscription. I ended up getting the subscription delivered and getting a bill for it--turned out they'd one-upped me by taking my "please trash your own crap" message as a "please send me more crap." (Of course I got them to cancel the sub and the bill, but it was the last time I played that game.)
Here's a thought:
Remove your address from the envelope (and leave no fingerprints), then tear out pages from a Sears or other catalog featuring children in pajamas or swimsuits. Then send it back to the junk mailers while at the same time, anonymously telling the post office that the recipient (the junk mailer) is trading in kiddy porn.
It would be interesting to see if it worked. But whatever you do, DO NOT do something illegal like sending white powder or razor blades.
From the article:
"Basically, assuming the Post Office is paying attention and cares, the only thing you're going to be hurting by taping a BRE to a box of bricks is your Postman's back and the environment. While you're sitting at home cackling and stroking your mustache, they're throwing your crap away."
Wow. A win-win situation! Now I know what to do with those bald tires, old TV's, computer monitors and car batteries I have sitting in the garage.
















Doe not work?