TSA: Pies Are OK, But May Be Subject To Additional Screening

The TSA has a holiday food travel guide up on its website and the verdict is in: Pies and cakes are OK, but “be advised that they might be subject to additional screening.”

We think that might be code for “we shall consume your delicious pie.” Maybe not. Anyway here are the items that the TSA will not allow:

Gravy
Salad dressing
Oils and vinegars
Cranberry sauce
Salsa
Sauces
Creamy dips
Wine, liquor and beer
Other beverages
Jams
Jellies
Soups

You should also remember not to wrap any presents or whatnot that you’re bringing with you, because the TSA will just unwrap them.

Last time we flew we brought some cheese curds back from Chicago and they didn’t care. (Yum.) What food items have you managed to get through security?

Traveling for the holidays? How to Pack Food and Gift Items [TSA] (Thanks, Danielle!)
(Photo:tengaport)

Comments

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  1. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    Looks like the TSA will need to order some larger size uniforms after they “screen” your delicious pie…

  2. theninjasquad says:

    why would you fly with a pie? Where would you even put it? Shouldnt it be kept in the fridge or something.

  3. Jeff_McAwesome says:

    The better question is where in Chicago did you get some cheese curds? I really want some.

  4. DrGirlfriend says:

    I bring back pastries and Cuban sandwiches when I come back from a visit to my family. I carry those with me.

    As for checked luggage, I bring back rum. And last time, a grape soda that I can only find back home. Although I can buy rum at Duty Free after I have gone through security and carry that with me on the plane. There’s so little rhyme or reason to so many of these restrictions.

  5. Omi says:

    Oh a pie! We’re, uh, gonna hafta do some uh extra screening on that. I’ll jus take this into the, uh, test area. *Leaves*

    Om nom nom.



    I’m sorry to inform you that your pie did not pass our *burp*, oh excuse me. Our, uh, screenings. The pie was deemed too, uh, moist. Yeah it, uh, could have been part of a, uh, moisture bomb. So, uh, sorry to say you will not be getting your pie back.

  6. homerjay says:

    what a delicious job that must be.

  7. JeffM says:

    That seems really strange… wouldn’t it be really easy to make a pie-bomb? Yet you can’t bring Carmex in your pocket… hmmm…

  8. edrift101 says:

    Mmmmmmm. Pie-bomb.

  9. Omi says:

    BTW, Is it just me or does it seem like this list of banned items in particular was created so these guys don’t have to go grocery shopping.

    Please remember to bring lots of contraband food to the airport. Because your confiscated perishables are our lunches.

  10. inelegy says:

    What about a pie made of gravy, salad dressing, oils and vinegars, cranberry sauce, salsa, Sauces, creamy dips, wine, liquor and beer, other beverages, jams,
    jellies, and soups?

    HA! Got you there, you tin-star-wear bastards!

  11. missdona says:

    @JeffM: You can totally bring Carmex in your pocket, or even your carry-on bag.

    “You are permitted to bring solid cosmetics and personal hygiene items as such lipstick, lip balm and similar solids.”

    [www.tsa.gov]

  12. timmus says:

    This is gonna be good news for the SIX people who fly with pies every year. For chrissake.

  13. Me - now with more humidity says:

    INELEGY: Only a problem if it’s more than 3 oz. LOL

  14. girly says:

    The screening kit consists of a checkered napkin bib, knife, fork, and a tall glass of cold milk.

  15. Meg Marco says:

    @Jeff_McAwesome: I actually got them in Carpentersville at Woodman’s Food Market.

  16. Skiffer says:

    Still can’t bring my snowglobes in a carry-on, though…

    For shame…

    [www.tsa.gov]

  17. Erskine says:

    So, TSA is hiring from the Springfield PD?

    “That’s some good screening there, Lou…”

  18. shaken_bake says:

    Doesn’t anybody realize the irony that if an item is confiscated, it’s because it’s been deemed a dangerous substance, a threat to security, yet all these items are thrown into a bin, which is then thrown in the dumpster (assuming that it isn’t regifted to the TSA agent). Shouldn’t the bomb squad be carefully disposing of these potential explosives or toxic chemicals??

    The only reason we haven’t had another 9/11 is because terrorists haven’t chosen to pull it off, not because we surrender gravy or 16 oz. bottles of water at screening. The terrorists HAVE won.

  19. B says:

    Pecan and Pumpkin pies are okay, but Mincemeat should be banned. Not to mention fruit cakes.

  20. HRHKingFriday says:

    I’m a walking snackbar when I fly- sandwiches, cookies, brownies, etc. I once brought two loaves of my mom’s homemade bread. Of course, I’m always super sweet to the TSA peeps and am a 23 y/o female. That MIGHT help my case, because you know they profile.

  21. Jeff_McAwesome says:

    @Meg Marco: Oh man, I’ll be driving within 2.5 miles of that place tonight. No time for cheese curds though.

  22. nuch says:

    @theninjasquad: People who are just flying home for Thanksgiving Day, and want to bring something to dinner. Also, a pie is hardly going to spoil on the shorter flights (i.e. NY to Buffalo or Florida). You can just put it in tupperware and carry it on.

    I once flew with friends from Buffalo to Tokyo with a couple bags of Mighty Taco (a Buffalo chain). It held up surprisingly well, and we didn’t get stopped.

  23. MoCo says:

    I didn’t take any pies, but they did let me carry my 4″ blade pen knife through a few days ago. I has orginally planned to check my luggage and then carried it on at the last moment, and had forgotten that I had a knife in the bag.

    So much for extra through screening.

  24. lemur says:

    @HRHKingFriday: I flew yesterday with M&Ms, granola bars, sourdough bites and apple chips. No problem there and I sure can’t count on my looks to look like an innocent little girl: I’m a bearded guy (a beard: terrorist! terrorist!) who does not look that young anymore.

  25. spinachdip says:

    @theninjasquad: I like to keep my pies at room temperature. Refrigeration tends to dry the filling.

    I’m all for Security Theater if it helps some easily-scared-yet-also-easily-convinced-by-authority-in-the-wake-of-9/11 folks feel safe, but looking at the list above, they’re clearly trying to ruin our fun. The terrorists really did win.

  26. royal72 says:

    at what point does the insanity stop?! can someone please fucking tell me?… i’m no terrorist and my knowledge of explosives is about as elaborate as “huh huh, explosions are cool”. however, it seems that it would be just as easy to conceal an explosive in a cake, a bottle of salad dressing, a jar of gravy, or a tastykake for that matter.

    none of this shit makes any sense!? none at all. wake the fuck up america. your constitution has been taken from you, because you refuse to use it and don’t even bother asking for your bill of rights. you care only for stuffing your pockets and faces, filling out comment cards, and taking your medications to make it through another day.

  27. backbroken says:

    If you express displeasure at this additional inconvenience, the TSA would be happy to screen that pie you ate last night as well.

  28. stre says:

    @Jeff_McAwesome: seconded! cheese curds = delicious. haven’t been able to find any really good curds here in Chicago, though. (maybe i’m spoiled from growing up and going to college in Madison, though). what Chicago really needs to discover is deep fried cheese curds. now that’s good stuff.

  29. target_veteran says:

    @Jeff_McAwesome:
    Re: Chicago cheese curds

    Take 94 north past Gurnee and into Wisconsin. Look for a place called the Mars Cheese Castle. Problem solved.

    And deep fried cheese curds with either marinara or blue cheese dipping are absolute heaven.

  30. scarletvirtue says:

    Last time I brought food with me on a flight, it was a piece of german chocolate cake.

    And oddly enough, while I couldn’t bring a bottle of water with me, I *could* bring my empty Nalgene bottle, to be filled past security. Go figure!

  31. Trai_Dep says:

    Plant a file in your pie so when Homeland Security tases (or shoots, if you’re brown) and jails you, at least you have a decent chance to bust out before the turkey’s carved up.

  32. MeOhMy says:

    The jokes just write themselves!

  33. FishingCrue says:

    Talk about pie in the sky….

  34. beccamanns_theotherwhitemeat says:

    i’m going to get a job as a screener and inspect pies…but only the pies of hot chicks.

  35. Marko_Vulvic says:

    This thanksgiving I am thankful that I don’t live in your country. Your government is insane. Have a good one!

  36. nardo218 says:

    I brought three tins of cookies. Wrote a note on the top that the baggage inspectors were each allowed one cookie. I handed out candy canes all through the airport.

  37. TimsBoot says:

    You may have been lucky to get curds through the Chicago TSA. I witness a TSA man leap into action to protect the world from a jar of olives only to have the world and olives saved by a clear plastic zip lock bag. More at my travel blog here

  38. homerjay says:

    @Marko_Vulvic: Our government may be insane- few of us will disagree with that- but its still a nice place to live.

    And its not so much the government- its the people running the government. WIth the right people this could be a great system. Unfortunately, the right people aren’t getting the job.

  39. catchthefever says:

    I flew from PHX to Vegas for my sister’s bachelorette party with two shaped cakes. The lines at security weren’t bad. When they x-rayed my cakes, they stopped, laughed, and called some other agents over to look at the image. They asked only one question: “Bachelorette part in Vegas, huh?” and sent me on my way.

  40. Major-General says:

    I’m curious: what can I do in 118ml I can’t do with 100ml? I miss being able to bring sealed bottles of alcohol with me.

  41. sedorus says:

    I’m taking a dozen pork chops with me to take to family (midwest pork rules!) and no problems so far (in the airport now).

  42. Bryan Price says:

    When will this stupid war on moisture stop? I remember some European country (Britain?) getting ready to pass a law to stop this stupid nonsense. It’s like xraying our shoes. It didn’t work the first time! There are so many ways that I can see getting parts for bomb through security, and I don’t even travel that much, nor am I so damn brilliant!

  43. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    Hmm..I’m thinking Homer Simpson or Chief Wiggum as a TSA agent here. “Ooooh….carry-on pie! Let me “screen” it for you. Hmm, not sure, let me screen it some more. Hey boys, get me some coffee to screen too!”

  44. synergy says:

    I’ve never understood this obsession with whether you can bring a pie with you. I’m pretty sure most people could buy or bake one when they land than dealing with the trouble of not dropping it or putting it upside down somewhere.

  45. dextrone says:

    @Marko_Vulvic: Yep, they (the gov. + other crazy, insane, or otherwise lunatic people(there’s plenty, although not EVERYONE is like that)) still haven’t figured it out yet.

    If only this country had a GENERALLY higher moral/standard set.

  46. JAYEONE says:

    @Omi: @dwayne_dibbly:
    you two made me laugh for a good 10 minutes! (my boss wonders what’s so funny) Great visuals.

  47. Chols says:

    I got two containers of grape leaves thru np. They were in clear to-go boxes.