This Chick-Fil-A Toy Is Not At All Depressing

I got Riley a kid’s meal at Chick-fil-A yesterday. It had the obligatory “prize/toy” enclosed. This one was lamer than usual. It was a roughly 2″ X 2″ cube that had questions on each side. The intent, I believe, is to spur conversation during a family meal. Everyone takes a turn rolling the “die” and answering a question.

There were some fun ones like:

“What would you like to be famous for?”
“What’s the most fun you’ve ever had?”
“What is the strangest food you have every eaten?” (Chick-fil-A nuggets maybe?)
“What’s the most amazing thing you have ever found?”
“What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever had to endure?”

Wait a minute. What was that last one? The most PHYSICAL PAIN? Who’s writing this shit? So much for light family discussion.

Do they think that John McCain is going to be playing the game? Are they working with Child Protective Services?

You’re right, Eric. This has to be the lamest fast food toy we’ve ever seen. We would also like to point out that the questions on that side of the cube all seem related somehow. Perhaps the author had an unhappy childhood and an abusive babysitter?

Way to Bring Down the Room, Chik-fil-A . . . [ThinkDaddy]

Comments

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  1. kris in seattle says:

    FAIL

  2. JRuiz47 says:

    “Well, Riley, the worst thing I did in a fit of anger… I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.”

    “….”

    “Now eat your nuggets.”

  3. chipslave says:

    Was the answer “food from Chic-fil-A”?

  4. Electroqueen says:

    “Well, Jimmy. The most amazing thing I’ve ever found was glowing crotch of a man who quit drugs.”

    If this toy doesn’t contain lead, Hallelujah! The safest toy I’ve read on this blog.

  5. @JRuiz47: AHAHAHAH

    Yeah…it kind of seems like a parental information tool, for parents who can’t afford to buy the teddybear camera…

    “What’s your favorite color, Johnny? What was your favorite birthday present? Which pet do you love the most? Who was your most dreaded babysitter? Really? Why? Uh-huh….”

  6. DrGirlfriend says:

    But what if my answers to any of those questions are not child-friendly? What then, Chik-fil-A???!!

  7. dirtymoney says:

    Least it was better than long joh silver’s kid’s meal toy…. which is a red hollow plastic pirate’s head …. and it is always the same red hollow plastic toy. They NEVER change it!

  8. bigdirty says:

    Ahh, it’s just more of their overly Christian and family values influence coming with the meal. The same reason that I don’t eat there!

  9. girly says:

    cheaper than therapy!

  10. serreca says:

    I don’t care how crappy the toy is, Chick-fil-a is delectable.

  11. savvy999 says:

    Other questions that didn’t make the cube:

    Who’s your creepiest uncle?
    Do you like watching gladiator movies?
    How many different strangers’ bodily fluids are present in an average hotel room?
    Ginger or Mary Ann?
    Do you really think that was chicken?

  12. QuantumRiff says:

    “What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever had to endure?”
    When mom Tells 6 year old Jimmy that it was having him, it might start some uncomfortable questions about where babies come from with a 6 year old!

  13. MENDOZA!!!!! says:

    if I shake the holy hell out of this thing, will it say “answer unknown, check back later”?

  14. wring says:

    oy vey. no wonder teh kids are all about mcdonalds.

  15. Aero says:

    @serreca: I’m with you, sister.

  16. JRuiz47 says:

    “The most uncomfortable pain I’ve had?”

    “That Chick-Fil-A nugget from that drive-thru in New Braunfels.”

  17. tinky XIII says:

    This thing should come with a free hugbox.

  18. UESC says:

    lolz

  19. extracrispy says:

    I love, love, love Chick-fil-a.

    But agreed, this toy is pretty lame.

  20. timmus says:

    It’s disappointing to hear that Chik-Fil-A is starting down this path. Just a few months ago we got an awesome kids activity CD that even ran on my 3-year old’s beat-up iMac running OS 9. He loved it. Sounds like they’re taking their cues from Sonic now.

  21. “What is the worst PHYSICAL pain you’ve ever been in?”
    “I think it was when daddy beat me that one time and the cuts got infected and then we had to go to the –”
    “WHAT?!”
    “That’s enough, Johnny. Eat your dinner.”

  22. Holy shit! Was this thing written by Debbie Downer or what?

    “What’s the worst thing you’ve done in a fit of anger?”
    Do they not realize how far wrong the conversation can go?

  23. ncboxer says:

    @bigdirty: “Their overly Christian and family values” sure know how to make some good chicken sandwiches and waffle fries. Yes, many of their toys have overt Christian values, but I could care less. I consider Chik-Fil-A premium fast food.

    If I didn’t eat or shop at all the places that I disagreed with their religious views, there would a lot of good places I would miss out on.

  24. xredgambit says:

    Lame toy, but I love their food. Yummy nuggets. And who cares about overt christian values. I haven’t been there and been asked if I’m christian or anything like that. Worst I know they do is close on sundays. But big woop. I would like it if I worked there. when I was an asst manager for pizza hut I’d be lucky to get a day off. If I was to ever work food again I’d go there for that fact.

  25. nidolke says:

    Don’t you know this just helps perpetuate the fast food cycle? Kid buys fast food, reads cube, gets depressed, buys more fast food to sooth his pain away. Sounds like some good ol’ marketing to me!

  26. guroth says:

    I’m from Northern California and I know nothing of Chick-Fil

  27. @xredgambit: I dunno. I don’t eat at In n Out, partially because I don’t like their food, and partially because I like my food Bible-verse free. I would probably find the fortitude not to eat fried poultry at a franchised joint and feel better about not supporting someone’s capitalistic “mission”.

    I don’t get water massages either at the mall for similar reasons, but Scientology.

  28. BigNutty says:

    Do you really mean you don’t like In-in-Out Hamburgers? That’s impossible.

    As for the toy, probably written from a very educated person from China.

  29. freakinalex says:

    It’s better than the “toys” I got at Chik-Fil-A as a kid. When I used to get kids meals there in the late 80s/early 90s, they gave out cassette tapes featuring stories that had overtly Christian messages. I’d rather have a depressing cube than an audio cassette (or in these days a CD) with a religious agenda.

  30. saltmine says:

    @spiderjerusalem: There are two different ways of Bible-thumping. There’s the fire and brimstone, you better believe in our shit or your dead, and then there’s the model that places like In-N-Out follow. The fire and brimstone folk give Christians a bad rap (I’m an atheist, FWIW). There are people that read the Bible that actually try to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. As for In-N-Out, they do it by offering quality food, treating their employees well, and providing outstanding customer service, all while refusing to franchise their business and lose the vision of the company. Every In-N-Out is family owned. So what if there’s a reference to a Bible verse on the bottom of the cup? They aren’t doling out free plastic crucifixes to the kids and telling them to wait until they’re married.

  31. @BigNutty: I really don’t. Flat and gross, and with too much crap piled up on them to try and hide it. And also nasty NASTY fries. Spider hearts Fatburger.

  32. UpsetPanda says:

    Chick fil a is awesome stuff. Sure their fries could be better, but I don’t eat a big amount of fries anyway. Plus…a little polynesian sauce and we’re good to go. It’s just that their toys have been less than stellar, but since I’m not a kid, I don’t care. That said, this is one disturbing little trinket.

  33. timmus says:

    Yep, Chik-Fil-A is good stuff. Where I’m at, it’s the only restaurant that seems to give a damn about keeping trans-fats out of the food.

  34. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    @spiderjerusalem: When I moved out here from Wichita I had never had In n Out before. I like it but only once a month or so, Fatburger is ok but the one’s near my house have terrible workers. I miss What a Burger and Hardees, I know Carl’s Jr is supposed to be the west coast Hardees but it doesent measure up. Mmmmm biscuits and gravy from a fast food place that actually tasted good. I hate most FF breakfast items.

  35. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    @Nemesis_Enforcer: But I do miss Chik-fil-a. When I go visit family next year in Va. , West Va. and Tennessee they are on my to do list.. :)

  36. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    Chick-Fil-A is way, way conservative Christian. I met the founder when I was in college; he used to speak at our Bible study meetings.

    See, you have to understand, this all feeds into the Christian message of renunciation. Toys should not be fun. Fun is evil. In fact, how can you dare to be so wordly that you want to corrupt your children with unwholesome games and teach them to lust after earthly possession, instead of that sweet little blonde at the cash regist… ahem…

  37. contender? says:

    @JRuiz47: Shooting a man just to watch him die does not imply a fit of anger. More like destructive (psychotic?) indifference. Thou shalt not misinterpret Mr. Cash.

  38. idx says:

    Being a native, Christian Atlantan who loves Chick-fil-a, I will say that their toys have always been lame. This is perhaps the lamest I have ever seen, but as a few people have pointed out; this is in line with their corporate Christian beliefs. Mmmmmmmmmmmm sanctity.

  39. JayXJ says:

    @Nemesis_Enforcer: @spiderjerusalem:

    If they have them in your areas try Backyard Burgers. They’re really good.

  40. yg17 says:

    @bigdirty: Ditto. Which is a shame, because they do have good food. But after hearing about that sort of stuff, I haven’t eaten there since. Sorry, but my money doesn’t go towards spreading religion (and yes, that goes for any religion).

  41. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @yg17: @bigdirty: I’m with you guys (in case you got thrown off by my past Bible-studying ways)… but then there’s that lemonade. Sweeet, sweet lemonade….

  42. AbstractConcept says:

    that’s not a toy, it’s a tray mat!

  43. camille_javal says:

    I avoid plenty of things because of their overt religious/political affiliations, but Chick-fil-a could slap a bible sticker on my forehead every time I walked in there and I’d still eat that chicken sandwich and waffle fries. (And, since I eat there a maximum of about twice a year, I’m not too concerned about supporting them too much.)

    @JayP71: I’ve have a Backyard Burger, and it was very good, but I only just now realized what a horrible euphemism it could be…

  44. csdiego says:

    What??? You mean fast-food kids’ meals are not a source of quality educational toys?? *off to lie down with chilled eye-mask, ponder end of world as we know it*

    Sorry, but happy-meal toys have always been crap.

    Chik-Fil-A is the best fast food I’ve ever had. But almost every time I try to go there, I can’t because it’s Sunday and they’re closed that day. I guess it’s just as well I’m not giving more of my money to their Christian agenda (which I’ve never actually noticed).

  45. UpsetPanda says:

    @csdiego: Chick-fil-a doesn’t exactly have an “overt” Christian agenda. I mean…most people I’ve talked to who didn’t know that the founder is Christian think find that they’re closed on Sunday just quirky.

    Funny, my chick-fil-a craving comes around (unconveniently) on Sundays.

  46. fluidfoundation says:

    wow, god forbid you have an activity instead of a toy, and even more to have one thats actually constructive.

    teach kids how to confront problems at an early age is probably one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard.

    The poster of this story said that the creator of the toy probably had bad childhood experience. I think the poster did too, they didnt get enough of the crap happy meal toys as a kid.

    sure you have the argument that you just need to let the kids be kids and have the damned toy. but kids in general have enough outlets for play these days, and nowhere near enough input of constructive thought at an early age.

  47. fluidfoundation says:

    @CaffeinatedSquint: Their adgenda isnt christian per say, more family. And as always, you dont like it, dont give them your money.

  48. UpsetPanda says:

    @fluidfoundation: Heck, I love Chick-fil-a. Being a Christian, I don’t mind their values or “agenda”…they even gave a ton of coupons and had a contest at my college. Some lucky people got to get a free sandwich every week for a month or something. It was better food than the cafeteria, which could literally kill you or give you some form of malaria, I think.

  49. RottNDude says:

    Pizza Hut has had similar questions on their boxes for quite a while. I always thought it was strange (sad, maybe) that they were offering parenting advice on a pizza box.

  50. xuande says:

    @fluidfoundation: Their agenda is definitely conservative Christian. They have a close relationship to Focus on the Family, an anti-gay, anti-sex ed Christian group, both directly funding them and running fund-raisers for them.

  51. zibby says:

    Pffft…if you guys think this toy is bad, you weren’t around for the Burger Chef Funmeal. I think I got a pencil that said “Burger Chef” on it one time.

  52. Her Grace says:

    I reconcile my giving money to the very overtly Christian Chik-Fil-A by remembering that they’re good to their workers…well, as good as fast food work can get. I’ve had a few friends who worked for them, and they were really good about class schedules and extracurricular activities, and scheduling work around them.

    Also, their chicken is made of actual chicken, their fries are made of actual potato, and they cook them in joy. I’m craving a breakfast biscuit now, and the only thing that’s made it to Australia is KFC. And they don’t even have biscuits here (though they do have fries, which is nice). Jerks.

  53. Her Grace says:

    @xuande: Crap, don’t tell me that. I despise Focus on the Family almost as much as they despise me. I don’t want to have my favourite junk food ruined by them.

  54. SeattleGuy says:

    Mmmmmmm, Chick-Fil-A – I wish they would get them here on the Left Coast.

  55. maryland157 says:

    I work at Chick-fil-a and I do have to say that sometimes are toys are crude. I never did get the chance to take a full look when we had those toys at my Chick-fil-a. I just thought it was some kind of board game. For Petes Sake Marketing WAKE UP , get some Cartoonnetwork show or whatever on mounth , then the crap the next. Plus maybe have a Kids Meal marketed for 8-13 which will have non-crap and save the crap for the younger kids.