Movie Trailer: What Would Jesus Buy?

What Would Jesus Buy? is a new documentary from producer Morgan Spurlock, who made Supersize Me, and director Rob VanAlkemade, following Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir “on a cross-country mission to save Christmas from the Shopocalypse (the end of humankind from consumerism, over-consumption and the fires of eternal debt.)”

God help us, we’re excited to see this. Reverend Billy cracks us up. Stop the Shopocalypse!

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  1. Asvetic says:

    I don’t care what it’s about, Morgan Spurlock knows how to do a documentary that’s both informative and entertaining. I’d watch anything he does! This just happens to be hilarious by the way.

  2. louisb3 says:

    The trailer is strange, but Morgan Spurlock is a complete badass.

  3. AnnC says:

    @louisb3: Did you see Supersize Me? After he was finished filming the movie he was a fat ass also.

  4. smitty1123 says:

    There is something deeply poetic about a Spurlock post following a post about someone being surprised that putting something in the microwave results in it getting hot…

  5. B says:

    I wonder how much it costs to get hair like that. Cause that’s what I want for Christmas.

  6. MENDOZA!!!!! says:

    what would Jesus buy?
    probably something to get those pesky nails out
    ….[sound of crickets]

  7. MaliBoo Radley says:

    You know that Jesus would buy pussy and beer. I think that probably goes without saying.

  8. mandarin says:

    @radleyas: Eh.. how classy

  9. junkmail says:

    @Cassifras: @radleyas:

    Wow, incredibly inappropriate.

  10. whiterose says:

    While I am in favor of Freedom of Speech, some of these comments are so offensive. When did bashing our Lord become politically correct?

  11. huadpe says:

    @whiterose: Well, many of us don’t consider him a Lord. Jews, for example. Or Buddhists, or atheists, or many other religions.

  12. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @whiterose:

    When did he become “our” lord?

    Anyway, if you’re in favour of free speech, it’s free speech for all, not just the speech that you like and agree with.

  13. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @whiterose:

    Well, he’s not my lord.

    Anyway … freedom of speech isn’t just for speech you like, it’s also the things that bother and offend you.

  14. MaliBoo Radley says:

    Sorry about the double post .. argh!

  15. mac-phisto says:

    @radleyas: there’s a lot to be said for exercising a little restraint so funny posts don’t dissolve into flame wars.

  16. PhilR8 says:

    Hilarious trailer. Reverend Billy reminds me of Kurt Russell. WWRBD?

    Also, I always love the “I’m all for , but…” comments. Saying that means you’re NOT for it.

  17. protest says:

    @whiterose:

    wow, how incredibly intolerant of you.

    and for the record, jesus would buy mel gibson- purchase the douche that profits off your death.

  18. tph says:

    I can has trainwreck?

  19. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @mac-phisto:

    Well, I suppose I’ll step out now. Perhaps if I had made a crude joke about, say, Scientology, people might not have been so offended. Whatever.

    Either way, the movie looks good. Great to see Spurlock doing new stuff. I hope he brings 30 Days back. I really enjoyed that programme.

  20. Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS says:

    @radleyas:

    Mac-Phisto has a very good point. No one is trying to trample on your free speech rights (although keep in mind that we’re on a blog, not in the center of the town square).

    While we don’t expect everyone to agree, we do expect people to show a little civility and mutual respect toward each other.

  21. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @tph:

    Yes, you can has trainwreck.

  22. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS:

    Sorry, I honestly didn’t think anyone would take what I said seriously. It was a joke, not a criticism.

  23. Craig says:

    What a surprise…a topic only vaguely related to religion quickly degenerates into a flame war. Human nature is nothing if not predictable.

  24. joemono says:

    @PHILR8: Kurt Russel all the way. In fact, when I saw the video still prior to playing I thought it was him.

  25. JKinNYC says:

    @whiterose: Add me to the not my lord list.

    @Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: Sorry, if it wasn’t about Jesus, no one would be kvetching. It was a joke and you all need to lighten up.

  26. JDAC says:

    Awfully presumptive to assume that jesus *wouldn’t* buy pussy and beer, no?

  27. Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS says:

    @JKinNYC:

    You don’t think anyone would have been offended if it had been about Mohammed? (Yes, I know he’s a prophet, not the son of Allah.)

    I personally wasn’t offended, but obviously some people were and spoke up. I’m just trying to keep the flamewars to a minimum so that all of us — regardless of religion or creed (or lack thereof) — can enjoy Consumerist.

  28. I have such a crush on Morgan Spurlock that it hurts. I hope that by announcing this here, he will read it, leave his vegan wife, and come live with me.

  29. JKinNYC says:

    @JDAC: Jesus was more into wine, and I think he didn’t need to pay for anything. He just had to ask.

    Now he might buy some folks a chill pill.

  30. JKinNYC says:

    @Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: Frankly, I didn’t think the kind of people who read consumerist (which is after all snarky at times) would be overly offended at things like this. And I didn’t think Muslim fundamentalists would read this. So no, I don’t think a joke about Mohammad would have sparked complaints. I’m shocked the Jesus line did.

    Much ado about nothing.

  31. warf0x0r says:

    I saw this guy at the Mall of America in Bloomington, MN. I thought it was a ploy to get people to go to church. I’m interested to see what this movie is about

  32. Meg Marco says:

    @Chris Walters: His vegan wife objects.

  33. girly says:

    So does this mean we _should_ go to the theater, buy tickets, popcorn, etc., or stay away and not buy so much?

  34. UpsetPanda says:

    @JKinNYC: It’s not necessarily about being offended (or not). It’s that consumerist readers should be civil and show that they can have a real discussion without making comments that are obviously disrespectful, whether it’s a majority who find it disrespectful or a minority. My response was “you’re (the poster) an idiot, that’s annoying” and I moved onto reading the REAL comments.

    My real comment is “Morgan Spurlock is really awesome and I can’t wait to see this.”

  35. mac-phisto says:

    @girly: that is a tough nut to crack. i’m gonna say, ok to buy tickets, but not the popcorn, etc. you CAN pour the butter all over your hands & lick it off though, so long as your theatre has a self-serve butter dispenser.

  36. RandomHookup says:

    Actually, it’s a reference to Jesus Alvarez, an undocumented worker at the Pizza Hut in Bloomington, Minnesota. He’s the one looking for shopping tips for Christmas.

  37. Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS says:

    @RandomHookup:

    OH. Then in that case, he might want chocha y cerveza.

  38. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS:

    Si … Jesus es muy caliente!

  39. cde says:

    @radleyas: Nah. Jesus hung out with hoes and theives. He doesn’t need to buy the pussy, they’d give it up for free….

    And yes, Jesus is my home boy… er I mean Lord. Seriously though, you would think some who has no problem dying for us would be able to take a joke in stride, no?

  40. Instigator says:

    Who will save Christmas? Master Chief, of course!

  41. LucyInTheSky says:

    YES! i am so seeing this! morgan spurlock rules!

  42. ElizabethD says:

    So how much will I have to spend at the multiplex to see this film? Yes, I said SPEND.

    Ironic, ain’t it.

  43. Trai_Dep says:

    Of ANY article where suggesting that Jesus is friendly with members of the opposite sex and is in favor of fermented alcohol beverages, I’d think one about Morgan Spurlock is the textbook case. He’s a bit… Irreverent?

    Those who clutch their pearl necklaces over Jesus comments shouldn’t click on a story where the Supersize Me guy features Jesus. It’ll only cause you to gnash your tender lil teeth and make you feel like the naughty, naughty girl you know you are. Stay on Pat Robertson’s site instead.

    Assuming they’re aren’t trolls, which they obviously are. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

    Since when can’t Jesus take care of his own damned self? Anyone see Passion of The Christ? That dude can lock ‘n load!

  44. Trai_Dep says:

    And Radleyas, He’s way more a hookers & Cuervo shots kind of guy.

  45. Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS says:

    @trai_dep:

    Ha! I guess you’ve got a bit of a point.

    The Consumerist Moderator can issue warnings and ban commenters, but Jesus can SMITE people. Smiting definitely trumps blog moderation.

  46. rdm24 says:

    OK, I’ll try to comment on the post here, rather than on the mini holy war:

    Have any of you run into Reverened Billy? I saw him last year in San Francisco. I was instantly converted.

    Is it a contradiction for me, an anti-consumerist, to love this blog? I hope not!

  47. synergy says:

    Dude! Thanks for letting me know about this. I LOVE Morgan Spurlock. I think I have a mini-crush on him too. heh

    I’ll compromise on whether to go watch it. I’ll not buy artery-clogging theater food and I’ll watch it at the theater that shows it for half the price the other 3 theaters in a 2 miles radius show it at. :D

  48. spangled_pandemonium says:

    Hello brothers and sisters, I’m responding to Ms. GIRLY when she wisely asks us, “So does this mean we _should_ go to the theater, buy tickets, popcorn, etc., or stay away and not buy so much?” – I would humbly suggest that since there is a reasonable chance that viewing this film could SAVE YOUR SOUL from over-consumption, HEAL YOU of your crippling debt, REMIND YOU of the story behind your product, and INSPIRE YOU to give to someone in desperate need with the money you save by STEPPING AWAY from that Elmo or Xbox or 4th pair of ill-fitting what-do-you-doesitz …. then you probably owe it to yourself to indulge in the FABULOUS SIN of several tickets for you and your friends and loved ones and colleagues and enemies, and who knows?? Maybe you will even buy some sticky, sickly, chemical-laced POPCORN from the brave theater that allowed this wonderfully odd film to be seen on the premises …. but please Ms. Girly, bring your own lemonade, the lemonade Mommy made you, there in the fridge in the frosty jug, because, we have to start somewhere. Merry Christmas, slow down your consumption, and CHANGELUJAH!

  49. cde says:

    @Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: Jesus can’t smite people, only Zeus can :P

    Remember people, Jesus saves, Allah forgives, but Cthulhu thinks you’d make a tasty sandwich.

  50. deserthiker says:

    If I remember the Bible correctly (and I do) Jesus is never shown to buy anything. The only thing he ever paid for is your sins, my brothers and sisters! Can I hear you say, Amen!?!

  51. girly says:

    @spangled_pandemonium: LOL! I have my answer.

    As long as the participants were fairly compensated and there were no questionable labor practices (a la China)…

  52. girly says:

    …or “Borat” for that matter

  53. Her Grace says:

    I hope this comes to Australia and/or is still available for seeing in mid January. I’ll make my theatre-slave brother take me. Is that more or less evil than paying for the tickets?

  54. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @cde:

    Jesus saves, but Moses invests! As a former Jew, I enjoy that one.

  55. Whiterose, I hope they didn’t chase you off the board. It’s to be expected. This site is just like all the rest, where people pride themselves in being funny and irreverent. Unfortunately, some people’s idea of funny is to put down Someone that others hold sacred. We should not be surprised. And when they say that He is not their Lord, they are not kidding, who and what they love really shows. Trai_Dep says you were clutching your pearls over that comment…I would suggest that you rather were casting pearls before swine.

  56. Her Grace says:

    Dude. You get to capitalize any and all nouns if they’re referencing Jesus? Awesome.

  57. spangled_pandemonium says:

    Is it safe to say we can come together here on wanting our Christmastime to be about compassion, peace and togetherness more than about being stuck in traffic jams looking for the latest sweatshop gizmo for our consumerized children?

    There is a quote in this film that goes…”Christmas is about the birth of a child who we believe will grow up to teach us peace…and you don’t have to be a Christian to hope that’s true…amen?”

  58. velorution says:

    Hey Girly,
    I worked on the film in Nov-Dec 2005, and though Morgan steers his ship constantly into the wind, through choppy seas and calm, he does respect your good work. Though we worked 20-22 hour days by the end of the 5 week shoot, we were well-paid and it certainly doesn’t hurt to have Spurlock on your reel. I was very happy with the process and felt more of a family member by the end than an employee.