The Chuck E. Cheese Walkabout Instructional Video

Chuck-E-Cheese was a magical place your parents never wanted to take you, but there’s a lot more to it than just an animatronic band, dwindling token supplies, and molten pizza. Consider the extensive training a Chuck-E-Cheese character has to go through, as shown in this instructional video where we learn, “Now it’s more complicated because you’re dealing with imaginary objects.”

[via Your Daily Awesome]

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  1. homerjay says:

    So this thing looks like its about 25 years old. I wonder what the updated version looks like.

    “If I child is to approach you carrying a handgun, you should immediately play dead until the child refocuses his attention away from his crime.

    If a child offers you crack, you must refuse, and do not- under any circumstance- offer any type of illegal narcotic to any child without first receiving permission from the childs parent.

    In either situation guide that child to the measuring tape on the wall near chucky’s spiral slide. Make a note of his or her height. You must also take a mental description of the child to give to the police. “

  2. B says:

    Marge: I have nothing to say to you.
    Homer: But Marge, I was a political prisoner!
    Marge: How were you a political prisoner?
    Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a
    diagram?

  3. ptkdude says:

    All this “Chuck-e-cize” has me seriously considering Chuck-e-cide.

  4. bsankr says:

    it was a costume?

  5. bsankr says:

    @ptkdude: Post of the day.

  6. floofy says:

    wow. who knew Chuck E’s job was so hard. this is the cheesiest (pun intended) video I’ve ever seen.

  7. Katie says:

    Heh – a local Portland weekly just had an issue devoted to the worst jobs in Portland, and being Chuck E. Cheese ranked as one of the worst. (Article Link, scroll down to “The Humiliating Job.”)

    In high school I dated a guy who had to wear that stupid costume. Did he ever have some horror stories. First and worst amongst them was his admonition to never ever enter the giant ball pit (a pool filled up with multi-colored plastic balls) no matter how fun it looked. You know how little kids feel free to pee in a swimming pool? Aparently the same ewwwwwww factor applies to a ball pit. He said the worst job wasn’t wearing the hot, sweaty permastink costume, it was having to dive into the ball pit to retrieve some kid for a waiting parent or have to look for lost possessions buried in pee balls.

  8. huginn says:

    I don’t even think Furries would enjoy doing this.

    Plus the costume blows.

  9. saltmine says:

    Hahaha…I’m willing to bet that the “updated” video specifies that no hugging of any children is ever allowed, ever.

    Also, best part? “Now, put on the left hand, making–Jewel, your vest needs straightening.”

  10. YoHenYo says:

    It makes me sad that Chuck E. is sad.

  11. YoHenYo says:

    It is also funny how they refer to Chuck E as “The big C.”

  12. SaraAB87 says:

    Chuck E Cheese has 25 cent arcade games (most other places are a dollar or more for a single play on a game!).

    I am not for the over-supervision of children these days but the public ball pit is one activity that I cannot recommend. I have heard the horror stories from friends who worked at arcades too, and after hearing about the hypodermic needle that was found in a ball pit I wouldn’t let any kid in my family near one.

    If you must have a ball pit you can actually buy one for your house at Toys R Us and other stores, at least you will know its clean!

  13. ribex says:

    I appreciated that this video came from the Show Biz company. Our local pizza-tainment joint was Show Biz Pizza, possibly pre-Chuck E. Cheese (I forget the history).

  14. bedpan says:

    man this video is depressing.

  15. khook says:

    “It didn’t become a game of who could spank Chuckie.”

    Let’s all be thankful for that.