I guess you can say she really "fudged" up that criminal attempt.

Is this The Onion?

Welcome to www.TheCriminalist.com

Seriously, what the heck is going on with this blog? Religion, hacking, cooky criminals, made up stories about call center reps with zero confirmation, stories that don't make sense about cable techs. Everything except consumer issues.

And the story of a clearly mentally disturbed woman stealing food from a hotel is on Consumerist because...????

@iMike:

I was thinking the same thing...

Bugs Meany was behind it.

SHE LOOKS LIKE A GHETTO KIMORA SIMMONS.

@crazytree-
As opposed to the actual Kimora Simmons?

I'm not sure why this is here either.

Are we supposed to get a laugh at her expense? I feel sad for this person. Her crime was pretty minor but it is obvious that she has quite a number of issues. I hope that she can get the assistance that she needs to overcome her mental anguish.

@dbeahn: Hey, its all fun... go outside and take a breath of fresh air or something!

Lol......fudge packer...

@dbeahn: Yeah! It's almost like this is a blog rather than a newspaper!

Hey, wait a second...

The title is tasteless, especially considering I just finished dinner. What has a story about a woman with serious food issues that resulted in shoplifting, have to do with this site?

She shoulda' applied for a job. I had a friend who worked in a fudge store and got all the free fudge he wanted. (Of course, after a few weeks, he didn't want any anymore)

Sad. Obviously this woman has some serious mental health issues.

I did like the Encyclopedia Brown reference, though.

@Crazytree: whatchu talkin about willis?

Kimora may be a skank ho... but she took a great mugshot... that kind of composure is hard to find when the cops have just found your coke stash.

[drinkthis.typepad.com]

@dbeahn: I definitely concur...although i have only recently joined that's what ive always thought Consumerist was..75% tabloid, 25% consumer fighting!

@COWBOYS_FAN: I agree. In high school I got to live out my childhood dream when I took a part time job scooping ice cream at the Baskin Robins in the mall. I'm surprised I didn't put that store out of business. I have very low morals when it comes to ice cream.

Now I know to just avoid those sorts of jobs.

I thought only gay men could be fudge packers!

"....where she was found, covered in chocolate and crying hysterically, on on a lobby sofa."

Sounds like someone was surfing the crimson wave!

Poor thing. I think she's got a story to tell at an O.A. meeting some day.

I think we can attribute the differences in coverage to Ben's vacation. Otherwise I'm afraid Consumerist has jumped the shark with this post.

Two words: POSTING QUOTAS

my only question would be why?

Oh come on, everyone here cries so much over everything they should really switch the articles to solely Kleenex-related.

I don't know how great this article being posted is, though. But I haven't had any real issues with anything else. And it is just a blog, calm down!

I think we can attribute the differences in coverage to Ben's vacation.

Yeah, that's why it's so much better... though that ain't saying much.

whoa, wait hold on a second this is a HUGE story... are you telling me they now make M&M pretzel sticks? when did this happen?

Seriously, there must be better things to do than laugh at a woman who obviously has pretty major problems. I would have expected better.

Encyclopedia Brown? More like Encyclopedia Dramatica...

For everybody complaining about how Consumerist doesn't post enough consumer news, I'll point out that the article about the CPSC's resuscitation has a total of three comments on it, two of which are mine. So... for all the begging and pleading for more articles like that, nobody seems to actually like articles like that.

At least, that's how it looks when you're measuring quantifiable statistics of site usage, like pageviews, comment numbers, and other things that help the operators decide what kind of stories to post. Even if Ben and Meghann read the thread on this article and see that people hate it, they can see that people are willing to argue about this article in a way they won't on the other one. Arguments mean more hits, and more hits mean they get to keep their jobs.

Lord knows I hate blaming the victim, but in this case, reader response determines site content -- so yeah, it's kind of our fault.

don't you feel bad for this lady at least?

talk about hitting rock bottom.

@Crazytree: Yes, although I have to admit the post's title made me laugh when I first read it, the picture of the woman makes me feel very sad. It just reeks of randomness and desperation--why steal fudge? Does she have bipolar disorder?

Well she definitely was a consumer!

chocolate is her smack.

@homerjay: Two words repeated -- POSTING QUOTAS :(

I actually feel sorry for her... she evidently has a few screws loose and needs some help.

When you go to Consumerist.com school the first rule is: anytime you can get in a salacious title like "Packing Fudge:" you must go with the story. And I for one welcome our new fudge packing overlords. Or is it: I'm tired of these motherfucking crazies in my motherfucking fudge. Or step 1: pack fudge step 2: ?? step 3: profit. Take your pick. It's all fudgilicious.

ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN! What an excellent reference. Their really aren't enough references to him in popular culture. And we could use some more kids (and adults) who aspire to an encyclopedic knowledge to see them through their lives.

Are The Three Investigator references up next?

(As for article selection: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.)

@DanRP: What about Wikipedia Brown?

Ah, my hometown represent. :)

Annapolis is a great tourist town, no so great of a living town...

I live in the area and read the local news police report. Some of the orginal story has been left out here. Apparently, when she arrived at the hotel she had claimed she was sexually assulted. The police investigated, found she had fabricated the story, saw the chocolate every where, become suspicious. They investigated near by and found the store broken into, and when they went back to confront her, thats when they found her flushing fudge down toilet.

Ben's on vacation. Is this the Consumerist/Onion?

There's nothing wrong with a differnt type article once in a while.

Keep up the good work.

I know when I make fudge I usually put it into the toilet.
So the consumerist warning for this story is... fudge may cause historical behavior???

@MalichiDemonos: Hell yes, if it's historical fudge.

@rekoil: I lived in Nap-Town for four years (college). At least then there were still in-town services for non-tourists, like a pharmacy and a grocery. Now it's just, well, fudge shops and keychain stores.

Tell me how the story ends?

What I was thinking... (in my mind role played my Pamela Anderson)... She was naked rolling around in chocolate in the hotel room. The porter enters bringing her baggage. She says "come here big boy and help me pack my fudge"... Then the old 70s porno music kicks in.

Ok, we men are weird, but have good imaginations and can turn anything we see or hear into a porno in our minds :)

Suggestion for your next headline: Consumerist readers found with 10 pounds of sand packed in their va-jay-jays.

I think by definition a "consumer" at this site is one who exchanges something of value for something of value in return such as $9 cash for a 1.75 liter bottle of Val-U-Rite vodka. Thieves are not consumers at this site. This article should have been posted at shoplifterist.com instead.

@dbeahn: Sorry about that... i ment "Hysterical behavior". MS word cant read my mind while i'm typing words wrong. At least i dont think it can...
Shoot!!! Wheres my tinfoil hat?!