Today Sponge Relaunches With Website That Appears To Be Aimed At 6 Year-Old Girls

The Today Sponge, the contraceptive sponge made famous by the TV show Seinfeld, has relaunched in the US with a brand new website and brand new package design…

…and it appears to be targeted at 6 year-old girls. Look at all the pretty pink colors and cartoon women. Don’t you want a “Today Sponge” playset, too?

The site even comes with profiles of the “Women of Today,” which one are you? Are you Maria the “health-conscious” 22 year old who has “just graduated and is looking for work?” or Monique, the career-oriented “30-something.”

Wait, where’s the paper doll set that we can print out and dress up with cute outfits? Where can we buy the dolls? What? There aren’t any dolls? Why not? How can we follow our own star without Today Sponge Dolls?

The Today Sponge

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  1. pinkbunnyslippers says:

    I think this is ingenius packaging! What better way to remind the consumer that if they DON’T use this product, cartoon imagery and paper dolls is all they’re going to be looking at once a little one rolls into the picture!

  2. SgtKilroy says:

    So does this mean that every website with “pretty pink colors and women” is aimed at 6 year-olds?

  3. gorckat says:

    I, for one, would appreciate some GI Joe or Transformers style images on condom boxes.

    “Wrapping it up is half the battle- yo Joe!”

    “Condomopticons…ROLL OUT!”

  4. I’m a woman of the future! I demand contraceptives with shiny lights and beeping noises!

  5. B says:

    Maybe it’s aimed at the Bratz generation. Those girls are going to need all sorts of contraception.

  6. RandomHookup says:

    How about Ursula, the 48-year old divorced mother of two with 42 pounds to go to get to her college weight and the fervent prayer that these monthly visits from Aunt Flo go away forever?

  7. hollerhither says:

    1)The sponge is awesome, so let’s hope they get their packaging straightened out. It was a sad day when they stopped making it in the US, although it was available for a while from Canada.

    2)The “Read More” links are a little odd, Consumerist, because while the sponge is not aimed at children it is not exclusively for overweight fans of processed meats.

  8. ShadeWalker says:

    it’s like those e-surance ads. i hate this “modern” style for advertising. i think it started with the animated superman cartoon that this trend started. the elexa brand from trojan uses the same style as well.

    i guess the advertising world thinks that women like simplified skinny cartoon women.

  9. acambras says:

    @B:

    Awesome.

    Yesterday I heard some DJs reading off names, and trying to guess if they were names of My Little Pony characters, or names of porn stars. The names were surprisingly similar — things like “Honey Sweet,” or “Cherry Lips” (if I’m not mistaken, the latter was a MLP; I don’t remember if Honey is a pony or a porn star).

    So maybe the marketing folks at the toy companies are moonlighting in the marketing departments for more – uh – grown up products.

  10. ceejeemcbeegee is not here says:

    @ShadeWalker: Take it back a little further to manga/anime and you’ve hit the nail on the head.

  11. not_seth_brundle says:

    In their defense, they describe Maria as “health-conscious,” not “heath-conscious.”

  12. B says:

    @gorckat: GI-Joe or transformer condoms would have a 100% success rate because nobody who tries to use them is going to get laid.

  13. muddgirl says:

    Really? Little girls? It looks like it’s targeted to the Chick-lit “20-30 something career woman” set. Check out this chick-lit cover art.

  14. ancientsociety says:

    @ShadeWalker: As annoying as those esurance ads are, that cartoon chick is pretty hot.

  15. hollerhither says:

    @muddgirl:
    Agreed that it’s chick lit inspired. But, consider this:
    [www.sanrio.com]

  16. kingofmars says:

    @ShadeWalker: I think that style of animation really started with the new “Batman: The Animated Series”

    And yes ladies, believe it or not, I’m available.

  17. Craig says:

    Prevents pregnancies AND keeps your kitchen sparkling clean!

  18. medic78 says:

    @gorckat:
    I nearly spit out my soda thanks to you. I’d buy the GI Joe ones.

  19. Dustbunny says:

    @gorckat:

    GI Joe condoms: “Because a hard man is good to find!”

    Thank you folks, you’ve been a lovely audience…

  20. Crazytree says:

    I prefer to blow my loads on cute lil pink sponges.

  21. queen_elvis says:

    Our culture already patronizes and infantilizes women in a variety of more subtle ways, and no one seems to care, so why not be blatant about it?

  22. jrdnjstn78 says:

    You all crack me up!!!

    The transformer condom would put a new meaning to the saying “more then meets the eye”!

    They sell the sponge were I work. the other day a guy was looking at it to buy for his girlfriend. He said that he was allergic to the lubricant in condoms. So I tell him how his girl would use it. He then asks me if she pees it out when they are finished. I wanted to laugh so hard at his comment, then i wanted to tell him he shouldn’t have sex if he doesn’t know that it goes in the vagina and not your bladder.

    Do all men think like that? Sorry if I got off track.

  23. snowferret says:

    @gorckat:
    *high fives!*

  24. MonkeyMonk says:

    They should get Jennifer Guthrie (or Julia Louis-Dreyfus) to be their spokesperson.

  25. AtOurGates says:

    Transformers Condoms: “There will be no pregnancy today, Optimus Prime.”

  26. formergr says:

    @jrdnjstn78: His poor girlfriend– I wonder what other parts of her anatomy he can’t locate…

  27. Wasabe says:

    The website is pretty lame. Not spongeworthy if you ask me.

  28. raybury says:

    From “what is it”:

    “measures only 1.75 inches in diameter and .50 inches in thickness… protects against pregnancy for the next 24 hours… even with repeated acts of intercourse.”

    Those measurements don’t work for me, unless it gets a lot thinner and maybe even stretches out when in use. Yeah for the “repeated acts of intercourse” it can sail through, but there are limits to absorbency, no?

  29. Miss Anthropy says:

    You can enter your own Today sponge profile. I’m hoping my “Round-heeled woman” will make it into their marketing materials.

  30. ceejeemcbeegee is not here says:

    @AtOurGates: I bet the Starscream ones will fail to do the job right every time.

    Then the Megatron ones will get so angry!

  31. North of 49 says:

    @gorckat:
    Condomopticons vs the Conceptioncons.

    ROLFTMAO

  32. North of 49 says:

    Honestly, “more than meets the eye” is what most believe is in their pants…

  33. D-Bo says:

    For anyone unsure whether this is targeted at young girls, take a look at Barbie.com or Pollypocketworld and you’ll see a very similar look that predates the sponges foray into internet marketing. As a single dad I rue the day my daughter asks “Daddy what’s a sponge?” and is not referring to Mr. Squarepants…

  34. whydidnt says:

    Somewhere, Elaine Benes is smiling.

  35. night_sky says:

    It is an art style. Adults watch cartoons. Hello, anime anyone? If you wanna talk about how adult things look like they’re targeted at children, why don’t you discuss hentai? That stuff looks like it’s aimed at child porn perverts.

  36. TVarmy says:

    @gorckat: Um… Wouldn’t the Transformers ones become painful if a guy “got tired” and um… changed state partway through, making the “item” transform from gigantic robot to compact car?

  37. MissAnnThrope says:

    I can say with confidence… The Today Sponge is being marketed with hip cartoon boxes and ads because the 20 to 30 age group have no idea what a pain in the ass they are.

    I tried them back in the 80s. For one, the spermicide used in them burned like hell. I mean, intense, searing, burning pain. Second, unless you have sylph-like fingers, they’re next to impossible to get into place or get out. Third, why bother with something so hard to get in and get out when you can just slap on condom on a guy and say you’re concerned about pregnancy AND STDs? The sponge doesn’t protect against STDs. Wasn’t that one of the reasons they went off the market?

    A health conscious 22 year old isn’t going to use these. She’s going to insist her partner use condoms so she doesn’t catch anything fatal. Then again, a 22 year old woman had sex ed classes mandated by the Bush administration. So chances are, she thinks STDs go with the territory and pregnancy is all she really has to worry about.

  38. Sidecutter says:

    @ceejeemcbeegee: Will there also be Fortress Maximus styles, for people who overestimate their size?

  39. methane says:

    So, have all the guys out there gone ahead and changed the name from “The Octogon” to Optimus Prime, or Megatron?

  40. gondaba says:

    ha ha, and coincidentally, the sponge episode was on just last night !

  41. acambras says:

    @MissAnnThrope:

    There’s another unfortunate side effect with these, but my prudish Southern upbringing won’t allow me to get too explicit…

    Let’s just say that if anything oral is going to happen, it needs to happen before the sponge is inserted — apparently the spermicide doesn’t have any yummy flavoring added.

    BTW, I think they took it off the market because of the risk of toxic shock syndrome. Hopefully they’ve worked out the kinks in that by now. Elaine will be happy.

  42. Morgan says:

    @methane: We call it Megatron because it transforms into a gun.

  43. greymatters says:

    GI Joe and Transformers are fine, but I think you’re missing the obvious cartoon mascot: Spongebob Squarepants!

  44. Craig says:

    A frightening percentage of 22-year-olds think that STDs are something we failed to find in Iraq.

  45. alicetheowl says:

    @raybury: They work with repeated use now? Spiffy. If they’d worked that way back in 1975, I’d only have two sisters.