Think Babies Are Annoying When Your Flight Is Delayed? How About Drunk Nick Nolte?

Nick Nolte’s flight was delayed at the Kauai airport, so he decided to roll around on the floor passing in and out of consciousness. At one point several of the other passengers had to help him put money in a vending machine.

We’ve heard of drunks on a plane, we’ve heard of babies on a plane, but Nick Nolte in an airport? What’s a consumer to do?

Without further ado…

Consumerist’s Top 5 Strategies For Dealing With Drunk Nick Nolte While Your Flight Is Delayed:

1) Take pictures. They may be worth money.

2) If you flight’s delay is actually CAUSED by drunk Nick Nolte, you will not be entitled to compensation from the airline, because drunk Nick Nolte qualifies as “force majeur.”

3) Drunk Nick Nolte documentation should be mailed along with your complaint letter, to demonstrate the hardship you were forced to endure during your delay.

4) Do not expect compensation for any dollars you give to Nick Nolte so that he can use the vending machine.

5) If you lose your drunk Nick Nolte in the airport, make sure to notify the airport management as well as the airline. Many consumers who lose their Nick Nolte skip this step. FYI, The maximum amount of insurance on your lost or stolen Nick Nolte is $3000. Oh wait, no. That’s lost baggage. Never mind.

Nick Nolte Crashes in Hawaiian Airport [TMZ via Dlisted]

Comments

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  1. dbeahn says:

    Hell, even sober Nick Nolte is annoying…

  2. Thrust says:

    Who’s Nick Nolte? He kinda reminds me of that guy from 48Hours, but I thought that guy was black and funny, not white and tanked…

    (“/joke” incase anyone doesn’t get it)

  3. allstarecho says:

    So sad. He was a good actor. His life has gone to total shit.

  4. banned says:

    Thats funny! I don’t think I want to know what he has in his hand.

  5. floofy says:

    I want these motherf&$king drunks off this motherf*&king plane!!lol

  6. Anonymous says:

    “Nick Nolte’s flight was delayed at the Kauai airport, so he decided to roll around on the floor passing in and out of consciousness.”

    I, for one, hope he’s not diabetic and wasn’t extremely hypoglycemic while everyone watched, took pictures, and laughed.

    He could have been experiencing a drug interaction, a stroke, any number of medical emergencies.

    Anyone lapsing in and out of consciousness should be evaluated by trained medical personnel, regardless of why you THINK they are acting that way, because you really never know.

    Hayden, NREMT-Paramedic

  7. Falconfire says:

    @thbarnes: Oh no he is a documented nutcase now.

    The problem is at this point, I have the sad feeling people would actually NOT help Nolte THINKING he was being him if god forbid something did happen to him.

    Every time you think he finally got his act together, he goes right off the wagon. Its to the point his antics dont even make the news anymore.

  8. Thrust says:

    @thbarnes: Nolte has a history of alcohol abuse. His mugshot has made him a FARK celebrity.

  9. LeRainDrop says:

    @rocnrule: I don’t think I want to know what he has in his hand.

    Just his glasses.

  10. Doc Benway says:

    Leave Nick alone. . . someone went and reminded him he was in Prince of Tides. If you were in Prince of Tides you would drink too.

  11. faust1200 says:
  12. Black Bellamy says:

    Hey, stop dissing Nick. Nutcase! Sad! Wtf?! The man is living the American Dream you jealous bastards! Oh, sure just because he doesn’t fit your worldview with your money, and your work, and not rolling around on the floor, you think you can ridicule and pity him. Nick Nolte doesn’t need your pity!

  13. erica.blog says:

    @rocnrule: Looks like glasses. Kinda stupid frame though (leopard spots or something?)

  14. Chicago7 says:

    I bet Nick Nolte is a good drunk, though, before he gets to the pass out stage.

    :D

  15. thunderstruck says:

    Ya know, it’s really easy to spot a celeb these days–they’re usually the ones who can still afford recreational alcohol AFTER expenses.

  16. Many Nick Noltes look alike. Be sure to check the tags to be sure you have picked up the correct Nick Nolte.

  17. Meg Marco says:

    @1337 4 L: <3

  18. superbmtsub says:

    Crying babies are nothing compared to a drunk adult staggering around.

  19. banned says:

    @LeRainDrop: @erica.blog:
    I see it now, good eyes. Damn I must’a stared at that 2 full minutes and couldn’t come up with anything.

  20. raceroh says:

    That is Nick Nolte sleeping….this is Nick Nolte awake http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/nolte1.html – 13k – ….kinda makes you want to keep him sedated…no?? Either way he’s dressed for the occasion.

  21. The HZA. says:

    Out of the corner of my eye, I had slight dyslexia and thought it said drunk Nicole Richie. Then I was like, she is with child!

    Then I saw it was Nolte and shrugged.

  22. eli_b says:

    You know what? If you or I did that, we would be arrested and taken to a small room for debriefing. In more ways than one.

  23. Michael says:

    HAHAHAHA

    Beautiful writing, Meg!

  24. leftistcoast says:

    True Story: My sister is married to Nick Nolte’s cousin. Never made it to any of their family reunions, though…I bet they’re a drink-fests of Irish Wake proportions…

  25. RandomHookup says:

    Of course, you won’t get the money you gave Nick for the vending machine. Nick Nolte always gets comped.

  26. Raze50 says:

    Nolte is from my home town. And no one f**king claims this guy. the city hoots and hollers about Brando and Fonda, and Buffett. But this guy gets bubkis. I wonder why…

    Though he did f**kin pwn Shaq in Blue Chips!

  27. Blueskylaw says:

    Drunks on a plane. Sounds like that new movie.

  28. timmus says:

    Kudos to the people who (a) took photos, and (b) included them as part of the story. I probably would have skipped this story if not for the pix.

  29. mconfoy says:

    Did Rupert Murdoch buy this site too?

  30. Trai_Dep says:

    There needs to be an Inebreation-Off between Nick Nolte, George Michael and a time-warped from twenty years ago Robert Downy Junior.

    (Though I think Robert has the advantage, since at his worst, he merely took a nap on someone’s couch. Not to mention his pulling through).

  31. laddibugg says:

    Are we sure it’s not Gary Busey?

  32. Lula Mae Broadway says:

    @faust1200: Have heard this on audio, but thanks for the link! Brilliant!

    And while I’m not a music company shill, Patton does a new CD out which I’m making my way through right now and its excellent – as is his previous one.

  33. peridyn says:

    Not that I am a Nolte Fan or anything, but everyone is calling him a has-been, when a quick look at IMDB shows him to still have quite an active career. He just seems to pick roles aimed at a more….mature demographic than what one usually gets from reddit or the consumerist…

  34. BelBivDevolkswagen says:

    Drunk Nolte on a plane would probably be one of the best and worst flights of all time…

  35. Nekoincardine says:

    Why on earth does the second fact sound like a Chuck Norris fact?

    Seriously, just remove “Nick Nolte” and put in “Chuck Norris”, and it’s like bad customer service ala badass.

  36. And this story relates to helping us as consumers exactly how? He’s an alcoholic which is a disease recognized by the AMA. What’s next? Tammy Faye and the latest victim of AIDS? Or are you hoping for a buyout offer from the National Enquirer?

  37. fosin says:

    Awesome!

    This is one of the many reasons I always have a sharpie in my carry-on.