Dumb Little Man has some tips for you super Costanzawallet dudes. Deep in your heart you know you don’t want to carry around a wallet this big. Aside from causing you to list to port whenever you sit down, carrying around a complete record of your financial transactions since the mid-80’s is not wise.
We like the tips, but one caveat: Don’t carry condoms in your wallet for long periods of time. Friction will rub tiny holes in the condom and then you’ll end up like Seth Rogen in Knocked Up, except you’ll be way less funny and charming and your life won’t be written by Judd Apatow.