For Those Who Hate Flip Flops: Topless Sandals

We saw this video on Wise Bread and felt compelled to share it with you. It’s a product demonstration of something called “topless sandals.” “Topless sandals” are flipflops without the part that attaches the sandal to your foot. Instead, there is some sort of sticky substance on the sandal that makes it adhere to your skin in a most disturbing an unnatural fashion.

According to the website, all one has to do is wash the sandal and it regains its sticky power for one year… guaranteed. Every instinct in our cynical bodies tells us this can’t be true. A poll of Consumerist editors yields the following tidbits of skepticism:

Ben: “My ass is more guaranteed to stick for a year than those sandals.”
Carey: “Wow, this site was made to be taken out of context.”
Meghann: “So…It’s Teflon’s natural enemy?”

Anyone tried them?

Topless Sandals [Via Wise Bread]

Comments

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  1. Seacub says:

    Dude has some fugged up toenails.

  2. benchman says:

    I used to have a pair of these, but I quickly grew tired of them. I had to wash them often to maintain a level of stickiness strong enough for normal use. That coupled with a permanent paranoia that they would come off and not restick to the bottom of my feet led me to toss them to the back of my closet. Reef sandals are much more comfortable and come with more useful features such as flasks and bottle openers built in.

  3. spanky says:

    Oh, my! My eyes almost popped out of my head from seeing those rebellious and extreme sandals! My sense of decorum is assaulted by the radical concept! And the Greenday: WELL, I NEVER!

    I’m going to go take to my fainting couch now.

  4. spanky says:

    Oops. Good Charlotte. Apologies to Greenday for that.

  5. TechnoDestructo says:

    Stay-put sandals! They’re filled with glue!

  6. adam2dot0 says:

    Mmmm, all the dead bugs and dirt and toejam getting all over the sticky stuff. As Paris says, “That’s hot!”

  7. death_hacker says:

    Sticky sandals? Great. I use my sandals on the beach, but I try to take as little beach home with me as possible.

    Oh, wait…I’ll be washing them after every use…so I’ll get a few ounces of sand in my washing machine every day…

    I’m being harsh but practical on this one. My feet hate every pair of flip-flops they ever met. I bleed and blister yet don’t have problems with athletic shoes. I thought this sticky sandals thing was a good idea for about 10 seconds until I thought of the sand.

  8. FLConsumer says:

    Just what we need — one more disposable product which is only good for 1-5 uses.

  9. not_seth_brundle says:

    I had a pair of these once. They last way longer than 1-5 uses, but it’s really tough to get all the lint and fuzz and dust completely washed off. So even though they are still usable, they get gross. Still, they have two big benefits: no blisters or chafing from the top of a sandal, and no flip-flop sound when you walk.

  10. Josh Smith says:

    Interesting product.

    I cannot recommend Rainbow Sandals enough. I just purchased my second pair. My first pair lasted 4 years at over 200 days of use per year, traveled 5 countries and a couple continents. The best pair of footwear I can recommend.

    I picked up my last pair on Amazon for just under $40.

  11. TheSeeker says:

    Back in the mid 80′s I has a t-shirt that showed these type of sandals and they were called Cheap Charley’s Soul Suckers. The caption was “Go Topless”. I never actually saw a pair of the sandals so don’t know if they were a real product or just a nicely graphiced Tee.

  12. mermaidshoes says:

    crap like this [www.amazon.com] works magic against blisters. flip flops for life.

  13. arachnophilia says:

    like flip-flops, minus the flipping and flopping.

  14. Timbojones says:

    I had a pair of these for a while. I didn’t have much trouble with keeping them clean and sticky. But apparently even my pampered feet were too rough for these shoes: the glue redistributes itself and wears down much like the insoles of any other shoe. I ended up with little glueballs and gluelumps hanging out between my toes and around my heel. While the surface remained sticky in the mean, the places where my feet want to be slowly and inevitably became glueless.

    I understand their warranty and replacement policy is excellent, but I didn’t like the way the things felt enough to go to the effort.

    Instead I found some excellent Sanuk (www.sanuk.com) flip flops lined with indoor/outdoor carpeting — the ‘Fur Real’ model. They have the strap issue endemic to any flip-flop, slightly irritating certain spots on the top of my feet. But I can get used to that. I can’t get used to the satiny, squeaky-sand finish that most flip-flops develop as they wear: it puts shivers up my spine. Carpeted shoes FTW!

  15. Amy Alkon says:

    Eeeuw! Just what I want, an unimpeded view of men’s hairy toes. Cross your legs in the air so you can be sure you have your dirty, exposed toes right in my eyeline as I’m eating.

    For the millions who don’t know or who have forgotten: Flipflops are shower shoes. Is it really that much of a burden to wear actual shoes in public, and when not on a beach or in a public shower?

    The glue story above nearly made me hurl.

  16. bombaxstar says:

    The combination of the music and feet gross me out.

  17. bombaxstar says:

    Ahem, grosses.

  18. coconino says:

    hahaha! Reminds me of the new adhesive bra I just bought. I believe it might be using the same adhesive agent like the bra one.

    [www.nubra.com]

  19. The Bigger Unit says:

    I don’t think I’d consider these suckers; the fact that they’re “grotesque” and “hideous” pretty much confirm the thumbs-down.

  20. synergy says:

    If only there were nice sandals without the stupid thong that weren’t just thin slabs of wood, I’d be the happiest woman alive. Sandals shouldn’t be torture devices!

  21. WannaGetMatzoBalled says:

    Men in flip flops–oy : ( I would love to banish them everywhere but the beach, a boat or the gym shower– I cannot fathom why people think it is appropriate footwear for a filthy city. You’re not being “laid-back & casual” or anything cool like that, it’s just sloppy and unattractive.
    And it looks gay, gay, gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that…)

  22. Trai_Dep says:

    Flip-flops are fine. If you live in California or Hawaii.

    Which, luckily, I do.

    Nyea nyea nyea :D

  23. Michael says:

    This is an abomination to the natural order.

  24. Designersheets says:

    You know they have had the redneck version of these for a long time, it’s called duct tape.

  25. 2Legit2Quit says:

    I have two pairs of guiness flipflops that I swear by. I don’t know what you people are talking about flip flops causing blisters. I wear ‘em religiously from Memorial Day to Labor Day (the summer in Jersey), and I don’t think that’s ever happend to me.

    And to you naysayers who are whining about others who wear sandals in the summer, they’re comfortable. Why not wear sneakers.. cause I wear them the other 260 days of the year, they’re hot, and not as comfortable. And yes, they’re casual and laid back, not sloppy. Unless your buying some ugly florescent shit?

  26. I found an awesome pair of flipflops at target. They have canvas or cloth thong and rubber, treaded sole. They don’t blister my feet, I don’t slip, they don’t make a sound when I walk, and they don’t make me look like someone who’s trying to make up for never getting into the ugly-Croc wearing trend.

  27. eldgog says:

    Try havaianas flops. I live in coastal FL so flip-flops are a way of life. Havaianas are great and are pretty tough considering they look like the five-dollar ones at Old Navy. A friend from Sweden told me about them and has had hers for two years.

  28. Ola says:

    Anyone who knows anything about hobbit costuming would have known about this sort of thing a long time ago. :) Reeaaallly useful for that, IMHO. Otherwise? I don’t really want to see hairy feet in those things…

  29. Helvetian says:

    They should have used a model with better feet, his toenails are scary.

  30. anmlStyl says:

    the concept for the flip-flopless flip-flop has bounced around the west coast for awhile, CA & HI natch. i’m wondering if one has swampfoot, that terrible condition of sweaty feet? not so adhesive much?

  31. tcp100 says:

    @Amy Alkon: I think mandals should be banned. Wearing them should at least beget a fine, or should be a misdemeanor punishable by having to work scraping duty at a podiatrist to see what you’re subjecting the rest of us to.

    Oh, and even the women, if you have “cute feet” it doesn’t mean everyone wants them shoved in their face. I was at the movies a while back, and turned my head to the right only to see some chick’s gnarled feet less than three inches from my face, gunky birkenstocks hanging off. NASTY.

    I know it’s summer and everyone’s all fancy-free, but seriously, unless you’re on a weekly pedicure routine, keep those nasty things covered up, or at least two yards from anyone’s face. I don’t care if they’re ‘comfy’. Keep em away from me.

  32. tcp100 says:

    @Ola: This whole thread is getting kind of a gamy smell to it. Yuck.

  33. SJActress says:

    I owned these. They cost $20 with shipping and lasted exactly 20 hours total. They stopped sticking, and the stick-em got all gray, and there was hair in them and everything. GROSS.

    I’ve resorted back to being barefoot.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I got a couple pair of these and they are great! Gotta love them for taking a stroll. Biggest thing is they are comfortable though they felt quite weird at first. I got my topless sandals at http://www.poonzwear.com