One time I was approached in the parking lot of a Best Buy by a buy dressed like a pimp complete with bowler hat and a cross-eyed prostitute.

He told me that they needed money for bus fare, and that I should cough it up.

I declined, then he asked me if I wanted to trick his ho.

100% true story.

I will never give them money.

When I lived in Michigan, a guy came up to me at the gas station and asked for money because he was hungry. I told him he couldn't have money, but if we went inside I would buy him some food. He took me up on the offer.

I generally take the tack of offering to give them what they want. If they say no, then I'm moving on.

I work in DC, in Georgetown and I see homeless people every time I go out to lunch. It's always the same people. Most of them are nice enough, and if I had spare change I might give it to them, but I never have any change (or cash) so I don't have to make that decision.

They just sit their with their cups held out, occasionally they speak to you, other times they just shake the cup. They're harmless. What really upsets me are the people trying to elicit help for the Democratic party. I can't get by them without being hassled. At least the homeless people leave me be.

There's a homeless guy who scalps tickets at Fenway Park. During the winter, he seems absolutely destitute and loony, but come spring, he can handle the complex transactions needed to sell $400 tickets and is on-the-ball.

I just wonder who is fronting him the money?

Never.

A friend and I were returning to his apartment in NYC to cook for a dinner party he was throwing. We bought extra everything, because the guest list was very loose. On the corner, a guy stopped us and asked if we could spare any change for a meal. Ron handed him one of the extra loaves of Italian bread. The guy accepted it, then looked at us in disgust and threw the bread on the ground and yelled "I don't want your #@^#@^&%@ bread! I want your damn money! I want to get booze!" We just walked away and left him ranting.

Ever since that day in 1992 I decided to NEVER give anyone begging for money on the street ANYTHING.

Now that I live in Portland/Vancouver, it still holds true. It really irks me that someone who's standing at the freeway exit, trying to collect money for a "bus ticket home" still hasn't gotten enough for the ticket throughout the course of the 10 months I've seen them standing there... with the same sign... in clean clothes, well groomed.

In San Francisco I saw this "homeless" guy listening to an ipod (not some generic ripoff either) whilest he was begging. Not a real good tactic for getting someone's money.

I was in San Francisco on vacation, waiting in line to get into a club, when a very thin, very dirty woman wrapped in a blanket approached me and she explained how the new rules kicking the homeless out of the parks were killing her friends. Then she asked for some money for tampons. I gave her twenty bucks. The friend I was staying with actually yelled at me for "being so stupid" as to give the woman that much. I said to her, I have tons of money and I'm still embarrassed to buy feminine hygiene products. Who the hell begs for tampons unless she really needs them?

Near my house there are multiple intersections where there are guys standing all day, with every direction covered, begging for money. It's like the Veterans and their Memorial Day poppies, except every day. My mom gives them money constantly. I keep telling her, one day someone's going to reach in and grab your purse or something, but she asks me how I can be so heartless as to ignore those less fortunate.

In Boston, never.

When you walk to work everyday, you tend to see the same ten bums or so, day in and day out. They each definitely have their own personalities, but at the end of the day I see them each doing the same thing: getting drunk off of the days loot.

THAT is why I never give even a cent to them.

I had a guy approach me at a gas station in Austin, saying he needed money for gas, to get back home to Dallas.

I was feeling charitable, but I didn't want to give to someone undeserving.

I asked him for his I.D. He gave me a driver's license with an Austin I.D.

I told him I wouldn't give him money, because he couldn't prove he was from Dallas.

This just makes me so sad and angry at the same time. I just hope I never run into someone asking me for money, honestly. I know I wouldn't give them jack-squat, but I would feel horrible about it later.

This man approached my dad in a parking lot asking for money. He ignored them and we got in the truck and drove off. Oh well. The Chinese food there sucked.

I recently watched a Frontline about panhandling in New York. Very interesting.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/programs/info/1310...

A woman asked me for bus fare once. I told her I'd wait with her and give the money to the driver. Yeah, that wasn't acceptable. She kept walking.

I'm always willing to give homeless people and/or beggers food, but not money. Usually, they don't want it. That's how you know they're lieing.

Sometimes, though, they do want it, and are incredibly appreciative. Those times are the ones which make all the other times worth it.

Never in Seattle unless they specifically say it's for alcohol and substance abuse. Honesty is worth a few quarters in my book.

I drove a convertible for many years, and that made me a prime target for panhandlers. I simply firmly (that's the secret-be firm and direct) told them no. We support homeless shelters and food banks with yearly gifts, so I never have to go through the mental gymnastics..."is this guy telling the truth..." "they look like they are hungry...". Living on the streets must be absolutely horrible, but there are services and places that offer help.

Don't get me started about girl scouts outside of supermarkets...

My gf use to work as a teller for citibank in the village (NYC) and if you guys know anything about the village, there are some eccentric characters walking around. She mentioned that usually its the plain clothed, simple looking characters that have the multi-million bank accounts, and these so called blinged-out ballers are the ones constantly complaining about some overdraft fees the banks charge them. No surprise there.

But I digress... So she told me about this homeless guy.. (well he looks homeless anyways, with his wagon of grimey goodies) that banks with them. He would come in and make deposits 1 dollar at a time... but ironically, he had over 10K in his account!
And on hot summer days he could be found slurping a Starbucks Frappacino.. while Citibanks employees like my gf, making just slightly over minimum wage, would salivate as they watched him pushing his cart by.

I was once approached by a beggar/homeless person on the street (he was dirty, unshaven, etc) in Charleston, SC. I didn't give him any money, since I very rarely carry any cash with me. When I walked back by the same corner about 30 minutes later, I saw him sitting next to a building with a notebook computer in his lap... Probably checking his email.

South Park's last episode, "Night of the Living Homeless," pretty much covered this topic with its usual humor...

I'm not one to give strangers money, but one time after eating late at a Wendy's I was approached by a guy who asked for some money. I said I'd be glad to buy him a meal instead and asked what he would like. He told me he's diabetic so he'd settle for a salad and diet cola. I went right back inside and got him his meal.

Sometimes I'll give a little to a creative professional beggar, like I gave to the "United Negro Pizza Fund."

Sometimes I'll offer a cup of coffee, or food.

One time I offered the muffin I just bought, and got a response of "Please-girl-I-don't-want-your-muffin!"

Another time, I saw a real homeless guy, crawled up on the street without shoes in the cold-ass dead of winter. That broke my heart. On my way back to my office I was going to get him coffee or give him money, but he was gone.

And there was that beggar in Philly that chased me into a bar.

Generally, the NYC ones are pretty tame.

Back when I was a smoker I used to give out cigarettes pretty freely, nowadays I don't usually give money to people on the street, unless I'm feeling particularly charitable. Once I even yelled at some "beggars," who were clearly drunk 20-somethings trying to have a larf. They were clean and well-dressed, and I told them to fuck off. I was called a "bitch," rightfully.
A few weeks ago I was waiting for the bus when a very flamboyant gay man came up to me and showed me a photocopy of his driver's license and a printout of his most recent HIV-maintenance lab result (viral load, T-cell count, etc). He also told me I was lovely and had a great haircut. He said he needed money to get back to his halfway house, and that he's been sober for 6 years, blah blah blah. I gave him $3 (all the cash in my wallet) because he's at least got it together enough to manage his HIV and because he complimented my hair. I'm dead serious on that one, and my boyfriend called me a sucker. Complimenting my hair will get you everywhere with me. I told my stylist last week and she completely understood.
To his credit, Robert (or Alley Cat, as he's sometimes called) stuck around and chatted with us for a while after I gave him money, and I got to hear some pretty good stories about the rampant meth use and drug-resistant HIV at the boys town bath house (no stories about the bath house closer to me, which is popular with the older men) and how he hates promiscuity. I nearly gave the guy my phone number, just so we could hang out. Then I realized he probably doesn't have free phone access at the halfway house.

I live in West Philadelphia and spend a lot of time in North Philadelphia, so I get asked for change more times in a day than I eat in a week. My generosity definately fluxuates. I purposelt limit the amount of change I carry on me many times to limit how much I actually get taken for. For the most part, I think it's annoying, but interestingly, I'm with seacub here; if a homeless guy admits that he's dying for a 40, I'll throw him a quarter for a Hurricane. I don't know why, but I appreciate the honesty

Beggars no, buskers yes.

There's a man who plays trumpet outside the L'Enfant metro stop in DC, not particularly well, but with gusto. I always drop a dollar, or whatever spare change I have, in his bucket.

A uniquely Seattle take on the "just need bus fare" ploy are the heroin junkies from Bainbridge who always seem to get stranded in the U-district without enough money for the ferry ride home. Funny, dat.

I'll offer leftovers after leaving a restaurant instead of money - no one ever takes them...not even the one homeless woman around my office who has been "pregnant" for four years...

@gondaba: So true. So very very true.

i like the guy that hangs out at the bodega around the corner...

"please donate to the i'm-a-brokeass-foundation, supporting me, a brokeass"

at least he makes people laugh.

One time while on a trip from Oklahoma to Louisiana I saw a family in a broken down van on the Interstate with a sign that said "Broke Down / Need Help". 3 days later while on the trip BACK HOME we saw the same family, on the opposite side of the road holding up the same sign! I guess begging for money can be a pretty lucrative enterprise.

I can't quite figure out how if they were broken down how they managed to get their van to the opposite side of the Interstate?

My friend and I were in Cleveland last year and it was interesting seeing the different approach that beggars take there. The three times someone came up and asked for money they told us a little story about their troubles or how they ended up in the situation they were in. I was just always used to seeing a sign, or having someone just flat out ask for something.

Also, I never really get irony (so try not to call things ironic), but is it ironic to see someone holding a "need money" sign written on the back of a jobdango ad?

When I was in college there was a beggar that would come around the student neighborhoods with the is sob story about how his car was out of gas with his wife and newborn in it. He said that he was just trying to get home, to another nearby town. Well the story worked the first time, I gave his a few bucks.

The next week he approached me again with the same story. I called him out on it, calling him a liar. From that moment on whenever I saw him begging others, I would walk up and finish his story for him. He got so angry that he tried to fight me. I would just walk away laughing with my friends.

The only people I give money to on the streets are the ones who are working for it. Tell me a joke, make me laugh, point out and hold a parking space. Now that's worth a dollar.

Once, leaving a Phillies home game, some drunk college-aged kids asked the panhandling homeless man near the stadium if he would pose for some pictures. He didn't seem to mind posing w/these frat guys. I think they gave him some money when they were done.

My Dad once told a Seattle homeless man "No, I work hard for my money!", and the dude stating mocking and making fun of my Dad.

There was a woman I at an intersection that I drove by. Her sign said eight months pregnant and hungry. She had a bit stomach and looked pregnant.

Two or three months later, at another intersection in town, I saw her again. This time, her sign read six months pregnant and hungry. It then became clear, she had a beer-gut.

@battlerobo: That reminds me....

I was in Boston once, and a woman outside a McDonald's asked me for some money so she could eat. She looked harmless enough, and asked very politely. I remember distinctly feeling bad for her, so I asked her instead if she wanted to just come inside with me. I told her I'd buy her some food.

Now, the way I imagined this in my head was her asking for a Big Mac or something. Maybe the whole number 3. Whatever. So, I'd buy it, and she'd take it outside and eat it, while I found a table inside where I could eat my dinner. Maybe she'd still be outside when I finished. Maybe not. Honestly, I hadn't thought that far into the future. Didn't matter. I was wrong.

What happened instead, is she stood up. That's all it took for some dude down the block to start yellin' and screamin' and tellin' me to get away from his girlfriend. He ran up to me and asked what I was doing, why I was talking to her, etc. I told him I didn't realize they were together, and then I turned around and left. I didn't get to eat at McDonald's.

No real loss, of course. It was just Mickey D's. But still... wtf was that?

I never give. I also have a few anecdotes:
When I was in college, I invited my kid brother to come visit and we went downtown to check out some music stores and such. A guy, about my age or maybe a year or two younger (I was 20 at the time)and every bit as healthy as I, accosted us and said we needed to give him money for food. He talked in a half asleep drawl, and when we refused, rebuffed with, "I said, help a brutha out." We again refused, then out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a couple of the other lay-abouts that were idling on the street beginning to stir. Kid brother and I immediately crossed to the other side of the street, and beggar-man and his goon squad tried to stare us down.

In 2001, Wife and I eloped in Vegas. The day we were leaving to come back home, she went to check us out while I waited with the luggage by the front of the casino at which we were staying. A very expressive gent about 22 or so approached. The best description I can think of would be he looked and carried the mannerisms of Adam Goldberg, the actor. Anyway, he started in about how he was going to school at Cornell and he had flown out for a big internship interview, but he didn't have money for a hotel and if he didn't get any sleep before the interview, he knew he wouldn't get it.
He'd already sold his return ticket for some other worthy cause, blah blah blah, would I just loan him the money for a hotel room and give him our address, he promised to send us the money. He said he'd even settle for just borrowing our room (I'm sure he would, so he could then run up some in-room charges, too). I told him we had just checked out and we had to catch our flight, sorry, there was no way.
About that time my wife started to approach, and you could see the change in his face when he knew he'd be able to appeal to her emotions and get her to fork over money when I refused. He did not realize he was already talking to the softy of the relationship. When she got there, he gave her the same story, with only a few discrepancies.
She looked at him, said, "Guess you'll plan better next time, won't you?" He came back with, "But I won't get this job and I'll be stuck here!" She, without missing a beat said, "Well, sucks for you. I'd recommend a different career, then. Probably not acting, though, because you're not very good at it."
As we walked out the door, he starts yelling, "Your wife's a bitch man! You shouldn't have married such a bitch! What a bitch!" We also noticed some security approaching him, so we hoped he got everything he was wanting from those kind souls.

One last one: A friend owns a construction business. He was accosted one afternoon by a guy with a sign saying, "No job. Hungry. Please give. Will work for food." My friend asked him, "Do you mean that? Will you really work for food?" "Yessir." "Then be here tomorrow morning at 7AM sharp, and you have a job." The next day, my friend waited at the spot from 7AM until about 7:30 (he had other workers meeting him there to go to a site). The guy, surprisingly, never showed. He saw him a few days later working that same spot, and the guy left when he saw my friend walking up.

My policy is that if they want money, they have to tell me a joke. I don't want to hear your sob story about how you need cab fare to get to the hospital to see your dying mother, I'll just feel like a jerk when I don't give you any money. Cheer me up, though, and now you've performed a service.

Usually, the scammers figure I'm not worth it, while the sincere people will take a minute and think of one.

@RandomHookup: Ticket brokers hire guys like that to sell tickets before game time.

It's a risky job because there's a good chance you'll get stabbed for carrying tons of cash and tickets, so people who aren't borderline homeless don't want to do it.

It's also risky to give someone like that cash and tickets, but you start them off small and work them up to more and more cash and tickets.

i've actually bought alcohol for homeless people several times, prefacing with... "i'm about to go get beer, do you want that? isn't that what you'd be spending the money on?", giving the person the out. In my opinion, it's more real... as in, i'm not kidding myself, and they don't have to feel deceitful. I figure this out when I attempted to give a homeless person some food instead of money, and he said "no thanks." I've also given some homeless people food straight-up, that was accepted.

It's never an easy decision to give or not give money to the homeless. So many homeless have mental problems--I mean, what sane person, but perhaps a San Diegan, would prefer homelessness to predictable shelter--that you want to do what you can to help.

But then there are people like the beggars in Harvard Square (RandomHookup can back me up on this) who have been professional beggars for years. There's the woman with the notebook with the hair so filthy it sticks out sideways three feet. There's the guy who holds the door open to the CVS and flatters every woman that walks by. Then--my favorite--there's the shopping cart filled with crap, with a pity-inducing dog and a cat leashed to it, and IT'S STAFFED BY A ROTATING GROUP OF BEGGARS.

Something like 90% of people who are homeless at any point in their life are homeless for a single night, they find the experience so awful. The other 10%, the chronic homeless, need more than spare change. I think in general people would be better off, every time they pass a beggar, putting a dollar in a jar and at the end of the year donate the collection to a group that can really, positively intervene.

I knews a guy once who loved homeless people who had 'funny' signs. The more funny the sign, the more he'd pay them for it.

I think the best one he bought came from a guy panhandling under a highway overpass:
"You may live in a $200,000 house...but I live under a $2 million bridge".

I don't like cup jinglers or people that say can I have this or that (usually money). If you offer food, they usually say no.

But I did meet this nice homeless/jobless(?) man in Reston, VA. I was with my kids and we went to McDonalds. He was sitting outside with a cup of water because he couldn't go in without buying something. It was a really hot day and I have seen him there a time or 2 before. On the way out he was still there and asked for some money so he can get something to eat. I didn't say anything and took him inside and let him order a meal and then I added a $5 gift card that I gave to him so he could get dinner that night also. Sucks to be out in the extreme cold or heat. Was I fooled or scammed? I don't care it felt good and it felt the right thing to do in this case.

I will never forget this moment, it was when I decided I wanted to be just like my mom:
I was 17 years old and we were in Boston looking at colleges. There was a man at a corner with a Starbucks cup asking for money. He told my mom he was homeless and hungry. My mother told him she wouldn't give him money, but she would buy him food. His eyes got really big and he said "Would you buy me a cheeseburger?"
We walked with him to a little diner and my mom bought him a cheeseburger, a bottle of water and some pieces of fruit. He told us he was a Vietnam vet but he was injured at work shortly after returning from the war, was fired and never was able to get another job. He was so grateful to my mom that he ran around the block and picked up every free newspaper he could find.
If you're ever in Boston and run into a homeless guy named Arthur, buy him a cheeseburger.

Having lived for 5+ years in downtown Chicago, I can say I never give to beggars. Period. After the first few months of having people ask for "money for food", then either my offering to buy some or giving them something I had on me, and having every single one say "no" - I've learned to turn a blind eye.

Besides, beggars are begging everywhere here. On the street, in the alleys, coming into stores, on the train, in the libraries.

It's sad but...

When I lived in NY, I commuted through Penn Station. I was once getting my monthly pass at one of the ticket machines and when I turned around after getting my ticket, I was startled to find an older, middle-aged man who was right behind me. He looked like somebody's uncle. He had glasses, he was nicely dressed, in a blue collar sort of way, and he asked me if I could spare any money so he could get a rail ticket. I felt the creepy vibes, but he didn't look like a beggar, so I gave him a few bucks.

About a month later I ran into him in Penn Station, this time near the one of the subway entrances, asking for money. I shook my head and walked on, feeling angry and sick about being scammed.

As another commenter mentioned, donating to buskers is ok with me, but I would rather give money to legitimate charities than get scammed again.

I bring a good amount of homeless men and woman to HRA (social services) here in NYC. When someone on the street asks me for money (handout) I tell them I will bring them to HRA and help them apply for shelter and temporary assistance and they FLIP OUT on me.

I work in the mental health / chemical dependence field and would love to help everyone, but they need to want to the help first.

I'll give a dollar here, a dollar there. I figure, even if they are lying, what's a dollar to me? So what if I'm funding a scam, it's still only a dollar. I can tell the difference between a scammer and the homeless, but if he's going to use my money on beer, who cares? If you're homeless, might as well be drunk. In Detroit, all the bums have stories, and they go back generations. There's the guy in the wheelchair outside the State, the guy in Greektown who rides the tenspeed with the beartrap pedals barefoot, and some people remember Stella, who used to shout at people. So what if they were really funding a rich/mediocre lifestyle somewhere? I only lost a dollar.

The other week in downtown Cincinnati, a guy carrying hospital robes (They let him take them home?) and an Indiana driver's license approached me and asked for some money for a cab so he could get home. He apparently just got out of the hospital. I gave him like 60 cents (they guy was kind of upset about that haha) because I don't carry cash. My girlfriend called me a sucker. She says he probably tells that story 100 times a day. I dunno, he seemed legit to me.

I'm totally arbitrary. It really depends upon my mood and how much cash I have in my pocket.

I once gave my last buck to a guy on the off-ramp holding a sign that read, "You can ignore me for a buck!" Good point, here's your dollar.

I've bought value meals and tacos for folks claiming they were hungry. Some thankfully devoured them. Others complained they didn't like mustard or pickles. One guy spit at me in disdain. Thankfully, he missed.

I've bought gas for folks who are stranded at the gas station, and purchased candy and ice cream for kids who looked broke. I've bought groceries for old ladies who are counting out change from jars and using food stamps for cat food.

Were they scam artists? Who cares? I decided I can't determine whether or not someones intentions are sincere, genuine, or noble. All I can do is give if I feel like it and if can afford to. And thankfully, I've been blessed with enough to give.

I live in Chapel Hill and the bus system here is free. And still, the handful of regular Franklin Street bums ask for change for the bus!

The only people who fall for that are freshmen and tourists.

I once found myself replying to such a request: "No you don't, the buses are free!"

I'm not heartless, I'm just realistic most of the time.

I used to give money to panhandlers, until a friend who works in homeless ministry told me that most of them are scam artists. He gave me this litmus test to see if someone has a legitimate need:

1) Find out what they're asking for.
2) Offer to go and purchase that thing for them or to take them to go and get it.
3) If they won't accept anything but money, offer to check back up on them later or to bring help, but make it understood that you won't be giving them any money. If they're OK with that, do it. If they tell you not to bother, your conscience is clear.

So, if someone says they're hungry, buy them a sandwich. If they say they need a bus ticket, buy the ticket for them and make sure it's non-transferable. If their car battery is dead, help them get towed. If they're legit, they'll accept the help. If they're scamming, all they'll want is money.

My friend said if you want to help the poor, donate to local charities and shelters -- NOT to the United Way, and NOT to any national organization (with the exception of the Salvation Army). He also said volunteers are in far higher demand than donations.

The amount of time you feel bad about not giving beggars money is inversely proportional to how long you've lived in a city.