We know what you're asking. "What, Dear Consumerist, is a "Cereal Straw"? Well, sorry to disappointed you, but we have no idea. If we are to believe the package, they are "milk-suppin' fun."
Here's a description from a human who was brave enough to eat one:
They are lined in the middle with that sickly sweet powdered milk that seems to be popping up in granola and cereal bars everywhere. Someone needs to tell these guys that it does NOT replace milk and that we can all tell it's just sweetened coffee creamer. Fortunately, the flavor of that is masked by the Froot Loop shell.You know, if we wrote about every stupid, disgusting product that came along we'd write about nothing else, but occasionally there comes a product like "Cereal Straws" that stops us in our tracks and makes us say, "Ew."The straws themselves are rather sturdy and hold up well to milk. They last a long time without getting soggy and do actually work as straws. They basically taste like Froot Loops, which is all you could realistically hope for. Sadly, the cereal straws live in a paradoxical existence; humans cannot eat and drink at the same time. Well...I guess soup makes us do that, but let's ignore that for a second.
Once you take a single bite of the cereal straw, it becomes too short for drinking and the fun immediately dissipates. If you just sit there and drink the milk, you'll just be wasting the straw as it imparts no flavor and is generally useless. Once you get to the bottom, you realize you have a half-soggy cereal straw with no milk to wash it down with.
Froot Loops Cereal Straws [The Impulsive Buy via BuzzFeed]
besides, we have redvines for this. they don't get soggy.
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4 of 5 crack heads approve. The 1 that didn't was told that it was powdered milk in the middle.
And I grew up just fine qtr2iut0jagijaldkbjzodfua0 :)
]]>Somehow, they managed to come up with a policy that still allows them to market their new sugar stick, which has--that's right--140cal and 12g/sugar per 3-stick serving. What're the odds?
Just an aside: by putting their products' nutritional info in a jpg, Kellogg's also keeps it from being readily indexed and tracked by search engines or, say, nutrition activists. I'm sure that's not why they do it, though.
]]>I'm gonna pass on the milled and processed sugar rolls.
]]>@ Meg: I believe you meant to say "milk-sippin' fun" which is what the front of the box says.
]]>If we want to talk disgusting kid food, look no further than Uncrustables: frozen-then-mushy PBJ? Ew.
]]>@TedSez: Yeah, but how much? Do they fail to meet the guidelines?
]]>This means they're overhauling a lot of their popular products (Pop Tarts) so they they can still keep advertising to kids, or else they'll be branding certain products as adult foods. I work on several ad accounts for Kelloggs and believe me - their kid-food websites are going nowhere.
And I've had some of these cereal straws - the Cocoa Krispies kind, which I'm not sure are for sale yet. They're cocoa-cereal outside and chocolate-lined inside, and actually pretty damn good.
If you drink your milk out of a mug like a genius, your straw is functional for a lot longer.
]]>"Polyglycerol Polyricinoleate (PGPR), E476, is an emulsifier made from castor beans which reduces the viscosity of chocolate and similar coatings and compounds."
See, it's even natural and vegetable derived!
BRB, I'm going to go have a glass of dihyrdogen monoxide.
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i like drinking through twizzlers-- fantastic!
]]>Sugar. Starch. Oil. Yep, that's what food is made out of. Seriously folks, it's froot loops, not dimethylmercury.
]]>Besides the aforementioned "soup," they can also do this with cereal.
]]>Mmmmm, those were sooooooooooooooooo tastey!
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well, unless you count that half zebra, half horse thing from earlier on Fark.
[www.thesun.co.uk]
I give it about 2 weeks before we see Lindsay Lohan snorting blow through one of these at some club.
]]>Come on, guys. It's not Kellogg's fault that parents don't take an active interest in what kids eat. You sound like you want to ban junk food? Guess what, that's part of being a kid, and I really don't think it's a good idea to limit every kid's diet to nothing but muesli.
Let the kids have some fun. Parents need to take some responsibility and understand moderation, but seriously, some of my best memories as a kid were eating total crap just for the hell of it.
Parents, practice a little balance, but let your kids have fun.. and don't worry about the froot loops straws. Really.
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