Sick of looking fat in pictures of yourself? Buy a camera that stretches the photos vertically so you look thin. No, really. Now you can do to your family photos what MySpace sluts have been doing to theirs for years!
We’re not sure what to think of this other than it’s probably easier than dieting. —MEGHANN MARCO
Slimming photos with HP digital cameras [HP]
(Photo: HP)
More From Consumerist
-
Wait, Best Buy Replacement Plans Don’t Fix Or Replace Discontinued Gadgets?
-
Google Thinking About How To Let Users Cherry-Pick App Permissions
-
Welcome To The Hilariously Passive-Aggressive UPS Store
-
Hundreds Of Teenagers Crash Walmart For Late-Night Food Fight
-
Verizon Math Returns, Songs Shrink In Size When Uploaded – Or Do They?
Seen those TVs that’ll stretch a normal NTSC image to be full screen, without totally changing the aspect ratio? What they do is keep the center part of the screen at a regular aspect ratio, but then widen the edges of the screen more and more to fill the extra black space.
I believe what they’re doing in this example is somewhat similar. They’re compressing the middle part of the picture, but to keep the aspect ratio, they’re widining the sides. In fact, I believe if you took a photo with people on the left and right hand side of the viewfinder, they would be made FAT!
(Either that, or they’re pulling in more pixels that are outside of the frame and using those to fill it in, but I have some doubts that they’re hiding pixels just for that effect.)
Well this feature actually came out the fall of last year. I suppose its okay but did you know it also has a feature to make people who are skinny… bigger? Yes apparently it does! You can either make the person thin or fatter.
@mantari: I suspected the same before I read the story, and you’re right. Take a look at the tree on the right hand side. Not only is it wider, but the black streak has changed the angle at which it slants, which is evidence that they’re stretching it, not just adding more pixels to the sides.
I don’t need this effect, let me know when they make the fattening lens, maybe I’ll pick that one up.
Does the camera also enhance nipples? Maybe it’s just my monitor, but that woman looks a lot colder in the “with slimming effect” photo.
I went on a blind date with a girl I met online once who CLEARLY had done something similar. Really, if you’re using these pictures to meet people, please save everyone the trouble and be honest to begin with. There’s on point in false advertising, to end up with a severely awkward date.
They don’t even look skinnier to me!
@Fixxxer:
Wow, nice catch… I did not notice that until you pointed it out..
But anywas, these HP cameras have bbeen aroudn for some time now. Well over a year.
Pet Eye Removal
- HP has also include pet eye removal like red eye removal for your dogs & cats…
It certainly slimmed my avatar nicely ….wonder if it can be used to make other parts appear bigger than normal … hmmm
I don’t see much of a difference.
HP clearly need to roll out some beer gut & belly roll removal functions on their next line.
They look almost exactly the same to me.
Photoshop does a much better job.
@Fixxxer: It’s almost nonexistent on the before, so yea nice catch!
You say “MySpace sluts” likes its a bad thing.
There is a difference in the pics. The filter seems to squeeze the pic horizontally and add new data?
anywho, this product says a lot about our society.
As a personal trainer, I weep from this technology. There goes my regular business for those ‘preparing’ for their holiday photos.
Man, I need to lose weight.
But darn it all, if Snowballs weren’t so delicious…
This is stupid. I just post my fat pictures on Myspace, then laugh at my friends who swear they weren’t trying to show off their boobs.
How about to old-fashioned exercise? Technology is not the answer to our problems.
This product’ll really help world perceptions as fat, lazy and demanding instant gratification.
@Moonshine Mike:
“You say ‘MySpace sluts’ likes its a bad thing.”
I see you never tried online dating before :p
Saw a news report on this camera. Yes, it does what it claims, but sometimes it messes with your face and can make you look different. While it slims your body down, it slims your face as well so fatheads watch out!
This is a nightmare for Match.com users!
If you watch the Flash demo closely, HP would have you believe that it can in fact modify ONLY THE PEOPLE — not only is the background unchanged, you can see parts of it that were previously occluded!
I think the Army is working on technology that can do that.
Wow, he went from ‘Is he pregnant?’ to ‘Typical fat ass’. Nice.
So that’s what Joss Whedon will look like in 30 years.
Hmmm…the camera still needs some work on removing the heater on that dude.
My vote is hit the gym. Or live in denial, whatever makes you feel good America!
Not for use on Nicole Ritchie…she might disappear entirely. Hey, wait a second…
Also, I wonder how this works on people who are lying down? Does it still squish them horizontally, only this time making them shorter and fatter?
You can do whatever you want with your camera, but it doesn’t change the fact that:
You’re still a fatass!
/Only in America.
//and those two people still look fat in BOTH pics
HP has to do something to make their otherwise poor cameras seem worth purchasing.
The slimming effect can also be generated with almost ANY camera by using the lens at the telephoto end, rather than at the wide end of it’s range. This is because many lenses display barelling, or bulging of the image at the widest angle, whereas they tend to pincushion, or pinch in at the telephoto end. That being said, this camera would appear to artificially create pincushion in post-processing of the image.
This is also why most portrait and wedding photographers do not use wide angle lenses when they shoot, but typically telephoto lenses.
Not only is she shining her headlights like Fixxer pointed out, it looks like she has lopsided boobs now.
That’s because, like mantari pointed out, they’re just stretching the outer part while slimming the inner part. So watch out if you’nre standing near the edge, cause you’ll look fat, in a sort of visual fat teleportation.
do they have a “no man boobs” camera model? I’d totally buy that.
I sense Miz Marco has been waiting to get in a catfight with one of those “MySpace sluts” haha.
The ad for this feature shows a flash animation that ONLY shows the couple being slimmed in the photo and leaves the trees untouched in the animation. All this is is a stretching tool with a fader attached. Every video camera made with 16:9 mode built into it has had something similar to this for years.
I hope no one buys it thinking that they’ll magically appear slimmer without the background being affected as well. Maybe no one will notice that your SUV in the background is 2 inches taller
Is it my eyes or did the slimming effect excite her so much that her nipples became erect?