Is "Pure Honey" Really Pure?

Honey can be labeled “pure” even if contains additives like high fructose corn syrup. Most people prefer the taste of 100% pure bee’s honey, but how can you test to be sure you are getting the good stuff? Testing the purity of honey is remarkably like testing the purity of a villager. To wit:

The Dissolving Test
Pour some honey in water. If the honey is pure, it will sink like a witch. If it is impostor honey, it will dissolve like a fair villager.

The Burning Test
Find a lighter or torch, and a candle with a cotton wick. Dip the wick into the honey and set it alight. If the honey-covered wick burns, then, like a fair villager, it is pure. If it refuses to burn, the impostor additives have cast a protective spell, like a witch.

WikiHow has other suggestions, like the bludgeoning blotting test, just in case the aforementioned trials don’t help rid your village of its fake honey problem. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

How to Verify the Purity of Honey [wikiHow]
(Photo: raindog808)

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. girlfriend 6.0 says:

    Reminds me of M.P and the Holy Grail.

    So if the honey weighs as much as a duck, is they honey a witch…I mean fake? :)

  2. PsychicPsycho3 says:

    Or just look at the ingredients?

  3. mantari says:

    I thought witches burn?

  4. Jon Parker says:

    I buy my honey in quart jars from a lady at work who keeps bees. I get a quart of pure honey for about $6, and it’s absolutely delicious — far better than what you get in a store. No need to test it either.

  5. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    The article linked to from WikiHow recommends giving honey to young teething babies, which is absolutely recommended against because of the risk of botulism in their underdeveloped immune system. Honey is safe for children more than a year old.

  6. segfault, registered cat offender says:

    Thumbs down to the Digg buttons on this site. What a bunch of useless clutter.

  7. zl9600 says:

    Linking to wikihow is retarded, guys. It’s not verified and simply the DANGEROUS recommendation of giving pure honey to teething babies is enough to not waste space promoting unverified community-generated crap pages on wikihow.

    A list of honey brands that are pure might get my attention.

  8. textilesdiva says:

    The phrase ‘damned if you do; damned if you don’t’ comes from throwing folks in the water to see if they’re a witch: if you sink, you’re not a witch, and innocent, but if you float or swim, you’re a witch and guilty.

    So…’sink like a witch’, eh?

  9. timmus says:

    It might be helpful to share information on brands which are guilty of doctoring their honey.

  10. AndyMan1 says:

    Very small rocks?

  11. TedSez says:

    It’s actually illegal to sell adulterated honey as “pure,” without the added ingredients being listed on the label.

    Although this sometimes happens anyway, it’s pretty much always packages imported from other countries, such as China and Turkey.

  12. asherchang says:

    “Pour some honey in water. If the honey is pure, it will sink like a witch. If it is impostor honey, it will dissolve like a fair villager.”

    are you sure that you haven’t gotten this phrase in reverse?

  13. Promethean says:

    I’m sick & tired of this bogus, incorrect, and unscientific crap appearing on Cosumerist. You have a duty to the public to report accurately, but have yet again failed in this task.

    If the writers & editors here can’t even do a quick google seach to find out that piling stones on a witch’s chest is the accurate method of witch exposue (NOT attempted drownings or burnings) then I have lost all hope for Consumerist.

  14. I accidentally bought 100% fake honey without knowing. It wasn’t until days later when I read the ingredients.