Always Be Closing: IDT Energy Salesmen Interrupt Man In Shower

Max from Queens tells us what it’s like to have IDT Energy knocking on your door:

My front buzzer rang a little while ago while I was in the shower. I figured it was UPS, and that my roommate would go out to get it. A short while later, the bell on my apartment went off, and I guessed that he had forgotten to grab his keys on the way out. So I grabbed a towel, and went to let him in. Instead of my roommate, there was some dude with a binder.

Now, picture me if you will, dripping, with shampoo in my hair, face to face with a tall young man that is holding a binder, who is definitely not the UPS guy. In most situations, you’d figure the person at the door would apologize for the inconvenience and motor on. Nope…

(These are the kind lovely aggressive salesmanship tactics you’ll hear about in our undercover adventure into IDT Energy…)


“Hi, I’m from ::mumble mumble:: and I’d like to help you save on your ConEd energy bill. Can I have a look at it please?”
“Uh, actually, I’m already with a different energy supplier and quite hap-“

At this point, the woman behind him, who had unsuccessfully been knocking at my neighbor’s door came up and took over. “Who is your energy provider?”
“Excuse me?”
“Who is your energy provider. Show me your bill.”
“I don’t see as how it’s any of your business.”
“We just want to make sure you’re saving by using an energy supplier.”
“I just told you I am, and can you not see that I’m dripping wet wearing a towel in my kitchen? I’m making a puddle here… You think this might be a bad time?”
“Well let me just give you this form…”

And that’s when I had enough of the game and asked to see their ConEd ID. They scurried away and I got back in the shower. I was sort of looking forward to meeting some IDT flunkies, but darn it all, the shower ruined all my plans…

Good job, kids. A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing, always be closing. ‘Cause only one thing counts in this world: get them to sign on the line which is dotted. We’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. (Glengarry/Glen Ross) — BEN POPKEN

Comments

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  1. SOhp101 says:

    That’s what I’ve learned… anytime someone comes to your door claiming to be from a certain company, ask for ID.

  2. roche says:

    Was your door broken? Why didn’t you slam it in their face?

  3. MercuryPDX says:

    Remove your towel and show her your “bill” FTW?

  4. neost says:

    yes, I have to agree….nudity would have ensued.

  5. Anonymous says:

    “We’d like to save you some money on your energy bill”

    *drop towel, drop jaw, stand in shock for a moment before starting to jump up and down excitedly*

    “You can save me money? YOU CAN SAVE ME MONEY?”

    *throw your arms wide and start to cry while you approach the guy as if to hug him*

    etc.

  6. Benny Gesserit says:

    A thought occurs – how many elderly people scurry off to get their bill when someone who appears (remotely) like an authority figure demands to see it?

    Scum.

    I agree with the others, I’d have removed the towel and dried my hair while they talked.

  7. FromThisSoil says:

    I would have never gotten out of the shower to open the door to begin with.

  8. Max2068 says:

    @FromThisSoil:

    I thought it was my roommate, locked out of the apartment.

    Strangely enough, showing him my “bill” didn’t even cross my mind. Maybe I was afraid of him saying something like;

    “Yeah, sorry. I don’t think we can get that any smaller…”
    “What?? No!! The hot water ran out! Awwww CRAP!”

    Har har.

  9. CumaeanSibyl says:

    @Max2068: I understand, but come on, this didn’t occur to you as a perfect opening for a porno?

    Her: “I want to make sure you’re getting enough energy, sir.”
    You: “Maybe you’d better… read my meter.”
    Soundtrack: *bowmp-chicka-wouw-woump*

  10. TedSez says:

    It’s a small thing, but saying you’re from “mumble, mumble” is still better than actually claiming to be from ConEd. Maybe the real ConEd finally threatened legal action.

  11. brianfairbanks says:

    Let me just say for the record: if anybody out there gets ANYBODY at their door, ask them NOT if they’re with Con Ed or IDT or whatever. Ask them if they work for Midtown Promotions. Remember that name: Midtown Promotions. Say you have a buddy who works there or something. Then they’ll relax and admit who they work for.

    If they say yes, they work for Midtown, then ask which location: Brooklyn, Queens, or Manhattan.

    To repeat: Hey! Good to see you guys! Are you with Midtown? I got a friend there. (Pause.) Yeah? Which one? (Pause; slam the door in their face. Then report back here.)

    We thank you in advance!

  12. brianfairbanks says:

    Obviously, I don’t mean ANYBODY anybody at their door. Anybody selling you a change in your electricity provider. Anybody in a Con Ed uniform or with an IDT badge that acts like they work for Con Ed.

    Unless, of course, they aren’t selling you anything and are in a Con Ed uniform and are asking only to read your meter. Try not to slam the door in THEIR faces, ha ha ha.

  13. Trai_Dep says:

    Yeah, I TOTALLY would have flashed the weiner at them. Then say, “Dayum you’re still here? You must be REALLY hot for cock!”

    Sure, 20 more years of pergatory, but worth it.

  14. Kornkob says:

    I’ll second the sentiment of ‘if I’m in the shower I don’t answer the door cause if it is really important they’ll either come back later or knock more franticly.

  15. Starfury says:

    I have a few simple rules:

    1. I don’t buy stuff offered in a parking lot.
    2. I don’t buy stuff from phone solicitors
    3. I don’t buy stuff from people that knock on my door.

    You should’ve either slammed the door in their face or dropped the towel.

  16. Nytmare says:

    “If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

  17. Wormfather says:

    @CumaeanSibyl:

    I just lol’d on my keyboard.

  18. synergy says:

    Peepholes are essential. I may have come out of the shower if I thought it was a locked-out roomie, but if I looked out the peephole and didn’t recognize them and I’m in my towel?? I wouldn’t be opening the door. At best I’d ask for the short and sweet whaddaya want? ’cause it would suck if it was a guy from the water company trying to tell me they’re about to turn off the water and I go back to the shower only to end up soapy and without water. heh

  19. othium says:

    My apartment building has a “no soliciting” policy. Every year we seems to get a few anyway when some new tenant lets them in because “they support the cause” or “they looked nice”. This usually gets a letter delivered to each door with a reminder of the policy.

    It seems to get worse around political campaign times. There have been some that had to be threatened with a call to the police before they would leave.

  20. y2julio says:

    @Max2068: LOl thank you for making me laugh out loud at work LOL i look like a dumbass now.

  21. superlayne says:

    Your house, your rules. I so would have threatened to drop the towel, and watch them squirm. Flirt a bit, too. xD

  22. Joafu says:

    One thumb up for the reader’s story and ‘abc’ response; another thumb up for the other commenters. *bowmp-chicka-wouw-woump*

  23. machotaco says:

    that happened to me once, a guy came to the door when I was showering, however he was dealing with restaurants. He was obviously with a trainee and were trying to convince me to stay at the door and take a look at their offer. So I made sure I stayed there in a towel for 20 minutes. I could see the uncomfortableness on the gentlemen and then after I made it look like I was extra excited, i said I’ll think about it and ran inside and closed the door. I think they were baffled