Walmart Evicts Shoplifters Wearing Signs Reading "I Am A Thief I Stole From Walmart"

Convicted shoplifters are no longer welcome at Walmart, even if they wear signs proclaiming: “I am a thief, I stole from Walmart.” Walmart was initially gung-ho about the decision to publicly shame the thieves, and even planned to keep the signs for future use. Their dreams of shoplifter shame now lie slightly worn at the return desk after a Walmart attorney told Judge Kenneth Robertson that the shoplifters were persona non grata at Walmart.

Robertson said the attorney said WalMart was afraid “that people might try to run [the shoplifters] down or throw something at them.”

Walmart does not want blood on their hands parking lots. Judge Robertson has ordered the shoplifters to finish their sentence outside his courthouse, where they apparently can’t be run down or have things thrown at them. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

Wal-Mart: No shoplifters, even the kind with signs [AP]
PREVIOUSLY: Judge Orders Shoplifters To Wear Signs Reading “I Am A Thief I Stole From Walmart”
(Photo: Dave Hyatt, The Gadsden Times via AP and USA Today)

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  1. The English teacher in me is vindicated! Go, grammatically-incorrect signage!

  2. Mr.Purple says:

    Isin’t ‘cruel and unusual’ punishment illegal?

  3. Trai_Dep says:

    Considering how Red State a phenomenon Wal-Mart is, I find it ironic that Wal-Mart is concerned that their customers will try crushing the penitent under the wheels of their cars, mangling, crippling and (hopefully) killing them.

    Just what Lil Baby Jesus would have done.

    Outstanding!!

  4. Trai_Dep says:

    PS: Lil Baby Jesus? Knows His grammer. Fricken mortal amateurs…

  5. Stan LS says:

    trai,

    But I thought Red Staters are all super rich folk who don’t have to shop at the Wal-Mart?

  6. Falconfire says:

    @trai_dep: Huh? I don’t think you could have possibly gotten more offensive, stereotypical, and idiotic in one post… but you did it.

    Congrats

  7. Jesus On A Pogo Stick says:

    I would have thought these guys would have died from embarrassment first.

    So Wal-Mart is worried about these guys being run over or killed? What about all of the other customers/employees/demonic beings (whoops… I mean managers) walking through the parking lot everyday? Do they not count?

  8. 2Legit2Quit says:

    “Isin’t ‘cruel and unusual’ punishment illegal?”

    Yes, but totally hilarity and kick-ass punishments are totally acceptable. Hell, it’s better then crowding the county jail.

  9. 2Legit2Quit says:

    Edit: I apologize in advance for my horrible grammar that I blatantly spewed in my post.

  10. AcidReign says:

    …..Wayell, a’ coarse eyit’s a Rayed State! Eyit’s either vote fer a ‘publican, or them goddamned Godliss queers ‘n’ furriners!

    …..The above mentality is a large demographic in my home state of Alabama, that cannot be ignored by any serious political candidate. Sad to say. There are great things here, but tolerance isn’t among them. Although we will generally be polite to your face…

  11. ShadowFalls says:

    heh, people won’t attack you or try to “run you down”. The most they will do is point and laugh, while the good majority would just ignore your presence as normal.

  12. mechanismatic says:

    I think this is a great idea for punishing criminals!

    Now to get some t-shirts and sandwich boards printed for the Walton family that say “I am a thief I stole from the Wal-Mart employees by providing crappy wages and terrible, little, or no insurance options.”

  13. mopar_man says:

    @JesusOnAPogoStick:

    If you do some reading, you’ll know that Wal-Mart hasn’t cared about it’s employees in a long time.

  14. WV.Hillbilly says:

    Nobody’s forcing Wal-Mart employees to work there.

  15. olegna says:

    Dude, where I come from shoplifting from Wal Mart is a sign worthy of respect and admiration. I recommend the small, expensive items, like vanilla beans and beef jerkey.