This Kmart Bacon Is Excellent, But Could Use Some More Fat

In the continuing saga of people who buy their food from big box stores, find it to be sub-par and then send us a picture, meet Simon. Simon is displeased with his bacon, purchased at Kmart and manufactured by the Smithfield corporation of the Commonwealth of Virginia, because it contains too much fat.

Your first instinct will be to say, “Simon, fat is the point of bacon.” Then you will look at the picture above and realize that your second instinct, to vomit, is in fact, the correct one. —MEGHANN MARCO

Best Bacon Ever!

UPDATE: Additional glamorous shots of fatty bacon.

bacon2.jpg

bacon3.jpg

Comments

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  1. gwong says:

    That is the nastiest thing I have ever seen – I can almost imagine that’s what the contents of a liposuction procedure would look like.

  2. Starfury says:

    That is so wrong. When I buy bacon I’ll take time to pick through the packages to get the one with more meat than fat. I’ve had good luck with Costco bacon.

  3. eldergias says:

    Oh yeah, sure. Blame the faceless corporation that could care less if you died of tuberculosis in a gutter outside of their store so long as they still got your money for something that is completely within their power to not only prevent but to rectify, and should have caught in the first place. You have to ask yourself, who is the REAL monster here?

  4. roche says:

    FMV brand bacon is actually worse. I picked some up when I was broke one day. I will never buy that crap again.

  5. Scazza says:

    I just recently moved out of the city, and noticed that even the shit little stores (No Frills, in canada) have excelent bacon. Before I used to spend hours hunting through bacon tryin to find one with less then 40% fat, now its like most cuts are under 5% fat… Its great.

  6. Canadian Impostor says:

    Oh gross. Didn’t the bacon have the little plastic window on the back to show you how it looked? I feel like an idiot looking at the back of every bacon package to find the best one, but now I know that it’s saved me from that unspeakable atrocity pictured I’ll keep doing it.

  7. aaronhoffman says:

    This is all one needs to know about the reasons for eating bacon:

    http://www.errolmorris.com/commercials/miller/miller_bacon

  8. junkmail says:

    People seriously buy food at KMart? What’d he expect?

  9. Cap'n Jack says:

    How do they even call that bacon??

  10. chipslave says:

    Why is he buying bacon that expired in Feb when its May already?

    Oh yeah… and ick. That just looks gross…

  11. Techguy1138 says:

    I’m used to seeing bacon that looks like that. Normally you see the meat when you flip it over.

    Then again I haven’t purchaced bacon in years.

  12. Buran says:

    I always buy bacon that has a little “preview” window if it comes in a box, or bacon that comes in shrinkwrap such that you can see exactly what you’re getting. All bacon has SOME fat in it due to where it’s cut, but it should have nowhere near THAT much!

  13. VA_White says:

    Reminds me of the bags of fat from Fight Club. Who wouldn’t want to eat that?

  14. That Guy says:

    This is what happens if you don’t flip it over and check the bacon windows.

  15. oldhat says:

    You get what you pay for.

    In other news, meat-eaters show flawed logic by being irrationally picky about the animal parts they eat.

  16. JohnMc says:

    Man I have to ask. Since this appears to be an unopened package, why did he put it in the shopping basket. The first bit of consumer advise anyone can have is ‘look it over’. Or to quote the knight in the Indiana Jones movie — “He chose poorly.”

  17. joeblevins says:

    Ummm.. I bet it tastes good though… Sure, it will kill you, but that would taste great!!!

  18. mewyn dyner says:

    Actually, I’d likely have purchased this. At $1.79, I think it’d be worth the novelty of saying “hey look at this!!” and posting pictures on the Internet of it. Second, after that being done, I’d go and, get this, use it.

    Now, before you all freak out and say “OMG DISGUSTING!”, I’d use bits of the fat here and render them in certain dishes for oil/fat. Bacon fat is one of the tastiest cooking fats, and before WWII it used to be the most popular one. Of course, though, I wouldn’t be eating this as I would mostly lean bacon, but still, it’s not unusable, just for a different purpose. :)

    • Amber Brown says:

      @mewyn dyner:

      Glad I’m not the only one thinking that SAME THING. So much better for you than shortening. At least it has natural vitamins in it. Good lard is hard to find!

      Or you could render it and use it for soap.

  19. plim says:

    this post needs to have that dog food “beggin strips” commercial played in the background…

    “it’s baconnnnnnnnnnn!”

  20. Amsterdaam says:

    That is disgusting.

    Oh and @oldhat:

    Eat me, hippie. Would you like the to eat the little leaves on top of strawberries, or the strawberry itself? Maybe the pit of a peach instead of the flesh?

    Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  21. MeOhMy says:

    This guy posted it to his blog in December ’06!
    If you go to the original blog link, you will see that it does have a window, and it seems to be implied that the window was right over the “good” part of the bacon.

    Ah well…just render it down and save the fat for later – $1.79 well spent.

  22. joeblevins says:

    Use by Feb 23 2007

  23. lilyHaze says:

    Not that I’ve bought much bacon, but I’ve NEVER thought to check the little window for the fat content. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  24. k8supergrover says:

    Bacon fat is awesome for browning firm tofu in little cubes…it tastes like a square of bacon, but not greasy.

    yum.

  25. George of the Jungle says:

    Just mislabeled fatback… what’s the big deal?

  26. markwm says:

    That there’s the kind of bacon you drop in your pot of ham and beans and similar dishes for extra flavor. Personally, I’ll stick to my Burger’s Smokehouse bacon.

  27. nighttrain2007 says:

    Course you’re only seeing one side of the bacon aren’t you? That’s just a layer of fat that didn’t get cut. Maybe he should get out the knife and slice off the fat instead of complaining about it. There’s lots of uses for that fat (i.e. seasoning, mixing it in with black eyed peas as a substitute for fatback, etc.)

    But you haven’t lived until you’ve had some fatback, fried up into hard crunchy pieces. Right along with pork skins.

  28. mopar_man says:

    While I love K-Mart and Target (fuck you Wal-Mart), I still won’t buy food from there unless it’s boxed stuff like cereal ($1.67/box at K-Mart this weekend). All produce and meat comes from a dedicated grocery store.

  29. TexasScout says:

    Time to get out the bean pot! That would cook up a mean pot of pintos!

  30. matdevdug says:

    I can’t even imagine how horrible that must be for you. . . .

  31. medief says:

    Kmart Bacon – I just wanted to comment that that brings new meaning to the phrase “chewing the fat”!

  32. kentron says:

    hmmm, I had no idea how passionate i was towards the topic of bacon until these idiots on this site started bashing what is probably a perfectly good (and normal) pack of bacon. now isnt all bacon about half fat? with cheaper bacon, they overlap pieces, but with higher quality bacon theyll just line them up side by side. most likely the other side of the package is perfectly delicious looking. have all these people never purchased there own bacon?

  33. mac-phisto says:

    @Troy F.: i was just gonna say…i’ve been foiled by the bacon windows before.

  34. MaliBoo Radley says:

    @oldhat:

    I’ll be as picky as I like in the meat that I eat.

    Remember, dear hippie, that meat eating is partially responsible for us humans having these nice big brains. Don’t fight evolution.

  35. homerjay says:

    @aaronhoffman: That commercial makes me want to cook up a nice BLT minus the L and T. :)

  36. @joeblevins: Did no one follow the link?

    Posted:

    Saturday, December 30, 2006

    Best Bacon Ever!
    Now I have purchased some cheap bacon in my life, but I think this one tops them all. I must say that it is mostly my fault because I wasn’t paying too much attention, but this should be illegal! “

    Now here’s my question… how can fat stay “fresh” that long? Ew?

  37. superlayne says:

    Bacon is disgusting. This might make me vegan.
    (Haha, no. But close.)

  38. Terminixsux says:

    In the immortal words of Emeril LaGasse, “PORK FAT RULES!!!!”

    The bacon window is useless, as all you can see is the top or bottom piece and all the edges. Granted, you can assume some level of consistency, as the bacon is usually sliced from a single pork belly or back. Anyone remember getting that really good bacon at the butcher? It was a big slab they’d slice down for you like cold-cuts. Yummy!!! And the uses for rendered bacon fat are endless, and many of them are delicious, as long as you don’t think about it too much. I mean, how else are you gonna make decent biscuits and gravy? Finally, the hippie was obviously trolling, so we all know the rules, “DON’T Feed the trolls bacon!!”

  39. medief says:

    now that’s what’s known as “chewing the fat”!

  40. Greeper says:

    Bacon connoiseur here. Bacon is packaged with meat on the top, fat on bottom. I’d like to see the reverse of that package and suspect it looks like any old bacon. Higher end bacon is stacked perfectly vertical, and let me say, if you want pay the shipping, the bacon at grateful palate (google bacon of the month) is awesome. though i think they see your email address to spammers. Anyway, my 2 cents is this pic is unfair; i’d like to see the reverse.

  41. Dustbunny says:

    That is definitely not kosher.

  42. phrygian says:

    @Greeper: If you click on the link to the guy’s blog, you can view the backside of the bacon in all it’s fatty-licious glory.

  43. not_seth_brundle says:

    @oldhat: I think it’s your logic that’s flawed. I’m a vegetarian and I love broccoli but hate bok choy. Is that irrational?

  44. Beef bacon has more meat than pork bacon.

    @Terminixsux: oldhat make a whole lot of Consumerist comments for a troll…

  45. legotech says:

    @k8supergrover: Wait, doesn’t frying Tofu in bacon fat sort of take away all the reason you eat Tofu in the first place? Isn’t that sort of like downing your 100% fresh organic salad with a chemical laden Pepsi?

    :)

  46. thebog says:

    The way to pick a lean pack of bacon is to lift the package and lightly squeeze or bend it – the leaner the bacon, the softer, when refrigerated bacon fat will be stiffer than the meat… though this was in a cardboard box, in Canada all bacon is in plastic packaging, they cover all of it with an internal “paper” wrap exposing only a small portion to look at…
    Try it it really works.

  47. notallcompaniesarebad says:

    I’d like to see the package opened. Is it that way all the way through or did they slice up a piece with a heavy layer of fat on top, and when it was packaged, all you got was the appearance of pure fat? There is muscle in there somewhere as we can tell. The question becomes: what is the cross section like?

  48. AcidReign says:

    …..My dad would have loved this pack! We had a deal when I was growing up: he’d give me all the lean parts of his bacon at breakfast. Mmm.

    …..That pack pictured above is good only for cooking down and saving the grease. I’ll bet it would make great cornbread…

    …..I don’t buy bacon but about twice a year when I’m on vacation. And then, I stick to stuff like Hormel Black Label, thick sliced.

  49. automatic_blue says:

    Sounds like it’s time to get some red devil lye and whip up a batch of soap!

    Once you’ve made a tidy profit at the crafts fair, you can order a whole carton of that fancy organic farmer bacon off the internets.

  50. dark-aesthetic says:

    I’m completely disgusted, yet not at all surprised that that’s the kind of crap you get for buying food at a low quality big box chain like Kmart. Even more disturbing is that the company that produced the bacon actually thought it was supposed to be that way and that people would LIKE it?
    Any animal with that much fat on it probably wasn’t very healthy or treated humanely either. If you want to see something interesting in relation to where meat comes from, check out the film Our Daily Bread sometime. I saw it at the Walker Art Center here in Minneapolis a while back and it was pretty powerful, at least to me. Not enough to make me a vegetarian or vegan… but enough to care about where my meat comes from and the process it goes through before it gets onto my plate and into my belly.

    Peace

  51. amham98 says:

    want to leave a deal about the bacon
    it is expired bay at least 3 months to
    maybe that is what is wrong with the bacon why it became so fatty

  52. Buran says:

    @Greeper: I don’t know if the post was changed after you replied, but both sides are shown now. It’s just about the same on the bottom and on the top.

  53. tamarawig says:

    I’ve bought that brand of bacon before and it’s not as bad as it looks in those pictures. They don’t package it in those nice staggered slabs like most manufacturs do. This brand packages theirs in a blob, all twisted and sideways. Like they had a big pile of bacon and just grabed a handful and stuffed it in the bag. If you opened the package and pulled it apart I’m sure there is more meat in there.

  54. ngwoo says:

    That would be 150% worth the price because of all the great drippings you can get by cooking that up. Sure, it’s gross, but any good chef can appreciate that bacon.

  55. ptrix says:

    The package has a window, so there’s no way he could not have seen nothing but fat in it. This shopper KNEW what he was getting, and shouldn’t complain about something that could have been avoided by simply checking out other packages.

  56. jeblis says:

    @oldhat: Got bored adding propaganda to the wikpedia vegan page?

  57. aidan.hadley says:

    You could make a really delicious lardo crudo with that slab. Or you could cut it into cubes, freeze it and use the bacon fat to enhance the flavor and texture of your favorite recipes.

  58. notebook says:

    Augh. I’ve now got the mental image of a pig getting liposuction.

  59. Hexum2600 says:

    I think this is simple… you deserve whatever you get for purchasing/eating pork. Period.

    If there is a more disgusting food out there, anywhere… I have yet to find it.

  60. EtherealStrife says:

    @oldhat: @Hexum2600:

    Just for you two I’ll be having a bacon on rye tomorrow. With ham. For breakfast.

    For lunch I’m thinking carnitas.

  61. coreyander says:

    @roche:

    I am horrified that there actually is a FMV bacon; I thought their imitation American cheese slices (which sounds redundant, but surprisingly isn’t in this case) were terrifying enough.

    What I want to know, is what cheap substitute FMV managed to find for bacon? Is it molded lard or something, or is rat bacon the new bargain breakfast?

  62. taquitos says:

    oldhat and Hexum2600, you have inspired me to break through the shackles of vegetarianism and religion in order to indulge my true genetic and Darwinian destiny. I am going out for a BLT during lunch, I will make pork chops tonight, and tomorrow morning it will be bacon and corned beef hash. If being Kosher says it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  63. What the heck was he doing buying that in the first place? Look at the bacon and then look at the package. There’s no way he couldn’t have NOT KNOWN that the bacon was more fat that meat.

  64. seattlegirl says:

    @AngrySicilian: Bacon’s not “fresh”, it’s cured, duh.

  65. KevLeahy says:

    Ok, I’m just reading this and I’m extremely confused. Yee talk like its the norm to have to look through packets of bacon to find one that has less than 40% fat?! Here in Ireland if something remotely like the bacon shown above was on shelves it would be like buying a lump of stake to find it was infested with maggots. That is unacceptable and you cant accept bacon that has anything less that a small bit of fat around the sides-I mean 40% fat is still disgusting!

  66. cheftony says:

    anyone ever heard of bacon candy?

    http://www.cheflifeonline.com

  67. TurgidDahlia says:

    maybe try a bowl of vegetables you sick fucks.

  68. DeeHaney says:

    I think it’s kinda interesting the way the vegetarians got slammed through out these comments. Makes me hope a lot of people will stay fat, because if they all get skinny, it will probably get even worse on the vegetarians.

  69. @TurgidDahlia: Vegetables don’t taste like bacon, silly!

    @DeeHaney: Two commenters getting slammed by the rest for remarks that were illogical at best isn’t interesting. It happens at least once a day. Please note that even not_seth_brundle, a vegetarian, agreed that oldhat’s logic was flawed.

    I also fail to see how fat a person is/isn’t has to do with how bad things are for vegetarians.

  70. siblog says:

    Thanks for the post guys!

  71. hepburn says:

    @coreyander: @roche: I bought fmv shredded cheese once and thought it tasted a bit funny so had a closer look at the packet. It was actually ‘imitation shredded cheddar’ and didn’t actually contain any cheese at all. Foul.

  72. oldhat says:

    Hi Everybody!

    To all the unthinking reactionaries:

    Humans evolved eating all sorts of animals and their parts. Suddenly, and in a few countries, we only eat like 4 animals, and then only a few parts?

    I’m not mad at you for not eating brains, or dogs, or tongues…no not at all! I won’t eat that shit either!

    I’m just pointing out the painfully obvious: the American diet does not make sense (if your goal is long life and good health) and it’s crazy to be gobbling hamburgers all day and get freaked out by a little more animal than you imagined. Don’t you know where your main food comes from?

    I’m not a hippie.

    And I have never looked at a freaky stawberry and said, “ew, that stem is disgusting!” What idiot said that?

    And yes, if you are a vegetarian and you don’t like bok choy, you are not only illogical, but stupid. Cook it better, or less, or something. Or you ain’t no vegetarian.

    My logic is irrefutable. Doesn’t make it “right”, but logic doesn’t always tell the whole story does it?

    You folks aren’t very smart. No offense to the rest…you obviously know who you are, by definition.

    Ah, unread moral victory 836 secured!

  73. jeffislouie says:

    mmmmm.
    bacon fat…
    guahghghghgh….

  74. @EtherealStrife: Carnitas are great!!

    I found Bacon flavored rolling papers at the tobacco store. I have no idea about that.

  75. TimidTheresa says:

    One of the many reasons I am thankful and proud to be a vegetarian.

  76. melissagogo says:

    The decline in quality of meat products is indicative of the decline in quality of farming. The meat people are eating are animals that have been tortured and most of them are sick and diseased by the time they get to the slaughterhouse for the final insult. My concern would not be the fat. My concern is how much disease is in the actual fat.
    Killing animals is wrong.
    Eating them will kill you. It’s a fact. Believe it and live a happy and healthy life.
    P.S. Pigs are one of the most intelligent animals.

  77. melissagogo says:

    @oldhat:
    We evolved from apes. Apes are herbivores. Humans are natural herbivores. As we introduced meat into our diets we developed sharper teeth. It can be argued we are omnivores. We have a bit of a choice. A vegan choice is clearly the right one ethically, spiritually and physically.

  78. Nako says:

    …. What?

    Our teeth evolved to eat -cooked- meat. Our jaw power and teeth size is embarrassingly inadequate compared to primates (which relish the taste of flesh when they can get it, by the way)

    To say the ‘vegan’ choice is the right choice is quite biased. We are all going do die anyways, and if we want to eat the flesh of all the poor little animals then.. that’s our choice.

    Also, saying that killing animals is wrong is infuriating beyond belief. You know, a shot to the head kills an animal far quicker than being -suffocated- by the jaws of a lion clamped over your snout, then being eaten alive as you slowly suffocate. Death isn’t supposed to be pretty. Sure, I too believe that there should be better care for slaughter animals but at the same time, no one better try to take my steak away from me lest they wish to feel my wrath.

    No, the real thing that is killing us is that natural selection can’t kill us off, therefore we keep passing forth bad genes =) haha, sure we can prevent a person from dying from allergies but at the same time we let them pass on their genes. Is that wrong? Well, it’s the path we choose.. kind of like eating meat. Funny, that. Herbivore, omnivore.. whatever. Like primates, we are opportunistic. =)

    Yeah.. I worry about the meat I eat and the state of the animals.. I do. I fully intend to own a farm where I raise and kill my animals personally. That way, I know they’re healthy before they are my bacon =D

    News Flash: EVERYTHING kills you. There is something in almost everything that causes this or that, and makes something bad happen to you. Pick your poison. Mine won’t be tofu.

  79. loueloui says:

    I remember many years ago my mother purchased canned bacon coincidentally from Kmart. It was even a blue light special! I think it was eomthing like 25 cents a can.

    It was essentially cooked bacon layered in butcher type paper that was rolled up and stuffed in a can. I have never seen anything like it before or since. From what I remember it was a product of Hungary. Although I can’t remember the brand name it was something completely generic.

  80. THIS AIN’T KOSHER!