Funeral Home Offers Discount For Sam's Club Members

Reader Emily sends us the above photo. She writes:

This is directly across from the stoplight at the exit of the shopping center where Sam’s Club is located in Kirkwood, Missouri. If you have to stop at the light while leaving, it’s not possible to miss it. This is the same funeral home that, while I was living nearby, sent a representative to the door to ask if I had a loved on who was in need of funeral services.

Is there anyone without a marketing department these days? Is there a sign outside of Costco…oh wait they sell caskets. —MEGHANN MARCO

Comments

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  1. Trai_Dep says:

    You know, it being a big box affiliation, I’m keenly disappointed that they don’t make the extra effort to reach out to serial killers, spree murderers or at least XXXL sized remains.

    Sigh. Sam Walton would be spinning in his grave.

  2. TechnoDestructo says:

    Next step: Funeral services at Wal-mart. There’ll be a discount mausoleum next to the layaway department.

  3. chrisgoh says:

    Or a do it yourself crematorium.

  4. Nicholai says:

    @chrisgoh: Gosh, that sounds fun……

  5. mopar_man says:

    Sam Walton would be spinning in his grave.

    He has been since 1992. Wouldn’t you if your company turned into what Wal-Mart has?

  6. cmac says:

    All jokes aside, buying a casket at Costco saved a friend a ton of money. While it’s important to pay your respects, they’re no reason you have to over pay for them.

  7. tedyc03 says:

    Is nothing sacred anymore?

  8. mikyrok says:

    I can see the marketing now..

    “Loved one died a horrible death!? No worries.. Closed Casket Funerals now half off!”

  9. timmus says:

    Last week Entergy announced a 2.1 MW corpse-spinning power plant that will be installed by GE and Siemens inside Sam Walton’s grave. The new power plant will be online by June and will be used to meet power grid requirements during peak demand hours, a spokesman for Entergy said Wednesday. State regulators expressed concern that the power plant may be excessively reliant on greed and poor management decisions at the nearby Wal-Mart headquarters.

  10. Charybdis says:

    You know, some unscrupulous salespeople go around messing with home windows and doors to make people more nervous and willing to listen to them when they come around the next week offering security systems.

    Not saying there’s any connection here, but it makes for an interesting thought exercise.

  11. Skiffer says:

    Forever Oak Hill Training Manual:

    Sam’s Club account is in deceased’s name:

    Response:
    “I’m sorry, this account is no longer valid since the account holder is deceased.”

    Sam’s Club account is not in deceased’s name:

    Response:
    “I’m sorry, you need to have [Deceased] present their card for the discount.”

  12. RandomHookup says:

    Somewhere in here is a joke combining cremations and Nazi t-shirts, but I haven’t found it yet.

  13. faust1200 says:

    It’s about time someone put the FUN back in funeral!

  14. kimbot says:

    oh no! that’s my sam’s club! i can’t believe i never noticed that sign.

  15. tvh2k says:

    Amusing — from Costco FAQ:

    “THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS”

  16. alhypo says:

    Hey, I’m all for this sort of aggressive marketing since it seems to indicate to me that the funeral business is getting a bit more competitive. Perhaps it is tactless to approach perfect strangers and ask if they will be dying soon, but it is the sort of thing you should get lined up before you actually die, otherwise I don’t think you will get a good deal.

    Personally, I don’t really care what they do with my carcass, but if we insist on dedicating valuable real-estate to dead people we should at least bury them vertically so they can be packed-in tighter. I don’t think the dead need to be lying on their backs in order to “rest” properly.

  17. AcidReign says:

    …..I’m hoping my loved ones check Sam’s Club out when I go. Ridout’s cheapest coffin is several thousand bucks, last I heard. Buying cheap coffins is a badge of honor in my family. Whoever gets buried in the first Walmart coffin will be a legend!

  18. 44 in a Row says:

    In all seriousness, the funeral home industry is a pretty tacky one to begin with. Some of them are great, but some take advantage of the fact that they’re dealing with people who are emotionally distraught, and often under time pressure.

    To give an example, a family member of mine, in order to save money she didn’t even really have to begin with, bought a casket for her aunt from Costco. The casket was identical to the one the funeral home was selling, but cost about 50% less. The funeral home director first told her that they couldn’t use a casket from an outside source — in fact, in New York it’s illegal to restrict this. Then he told her that they would have to charge a “delivery fee”, “preparation fee”, and all sorts of other nonsense charges. Then he told her that they would only accept deliveries between something like 3pm and 4pm on Wednesdays and Fridays, so it would be difficult to coordinate. When all of this failed to dissuade her, he told her that the third-party casket would be poorly made, would probably fall apart, and would be a disgrace to her relative’s memory.

    So in sum, competition is a good thing here.

  19. frannyannie says:

    That’s my dad’s Sams club, so when I saw this I called him up, and he knew exactly what I was talking about. Wild…

  20. e-gadgetjunkie says:

    @kimbot:to your credit, the sign has only been up for about a month.

  21. kimbot says:

    @e-gadgetjunkie: huh. i thought it would be longer seeing the condition of the sign.

  22. coopjust says:

    @tvh2k

    “THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS”

    Duh, it’s to keep the zombies in. It makes perfect sense!

  23. fak3r says:

    This is only a few miles from my house, it’s embarrassing. Oh, and I have a piece of junk mail that promises, “Buy one burial plot, get one free.” I’m not kidding.

    Also, since it’s on topic, I’ve never shopped at Sam’s or Wal-Mart; buy local whenever you can.

  24. Greasy Thumb Guzik says:

    The sign also has: “Library Of Lives”.
    WTF!
    Does that mean you get to check out a body for three weeks or are the bodies reference only?

  25. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    Yeah, so they’re a good deal at Costco, but come on, who wants to buy a twelve-pack of coffins?

    Personally, I’ll settle for being tackily creamated in one of those Sam’s-Club chimineas (also only available in the handy twelve-pack).

    Hey, you can’t blame Oak Hill for trying to drum up business…I hear it’s kind of dead this time of year, and that they’re running on a skeleton crew.

  26. a says:

    I thought the big joke was that this was the one industry that never had to advertise and never ran out of customers. Yeah, reading the comments, though, it has always seemed like a shady business to me, and why not get your shady wares for cheaper?

    And @dwayne_dibbly: Zing-o-rama!

  27. zymurgy says:

    A small technicality, but the Sams in question is actually in Crestwood, Missouri. It’s very close to the border of both Oakland, Missouri and Kirkwood, Missouri. It sits at the Highway 44 and Big Bend exit.

    Address:
    10248 BIG BEND BLVD
    CRESTWOOD , MO 63122

  28. Squeezer99 says:

    and the problem with that ad is???

  29. gwong says:

    Do I get a discount if I buy my plans in bulk?

  30. J.J. says:

    On April 17th my infant son died. It turns out most funeral homes discount, or even offer for free the funerals for infants.

    The only problem is that the caskets really suck for babies. I even went to search online and couldn’t find anything good. Finally the funeral home showed me a real casket for the baby instead of what seemed like a cardboard box with fabric stapled on. I would rather have had more choices though.


    As others said the funeral services business is pretty tacky…. I searched long and hard use one that is not a nationwide chain.

  31. Rajio says:

    judging by this post and the subsequent comments, i guess funeral services aren’t business anymore huh?

  32. Guletti5 says:

    Is it Marketing or Merchandising ?
    Many years ago, in one of my books, (on the ‘must read’ list at school) was a picture of an Undertaker’s Billboard in Brooklyn NY.
    It read : ” Die with Finkelstein and you will die happy “

  33. CyGuy says:

    I was driving by a cemetery yesterday and there was a small metal sign (like used by realtors or politicians) that said “Career Opportunities – Apply Within” I couldn’t figure out what the ‘Within’ was referencing as there are no buildings at this cemetery, other than a few small mausoleums anyway.

  34. deltron says:

    I’m literally laughing out loud, what’s funny is that this is the Sam’s Club I go to. And yes, it really is across the street from this funeral home. This is fairly funny because it’s one of the upscale funeral homes (even though it’s a chain)