Some Of Our Favoritest AOL Posts

This new batch of AOL confessions got us all misty. Here’s a walk down memory lane.

Former Elite AOL Retainer Interviewed
“America Online gave him trips to Mexico and thousands of dollars in bonuses. He was in the elite, an expert at getting people to not cancel AOL. But he didn’t there by being Mr. Nice Guy. Consumerist.com interviews a former AOL retainer.”

AOL Wants to Sell “Internet” to the Dead
“AOL doesn’t even care if your mom is a corpse. They still want to proposition her for access to the magical walled garden world of America Online.”

AOL CSR Not Making Enough Money, Robs Bank
“One CSR took unscheduled time off work to try to rob a bank. Another was arrested for stealing credit card numbers from members. Then there was John Edgin whom she reported for threatening to shoot up the call center.”

AOL User 2281868: Looking For Gay Black Superman With An Overbite
“But here’s another great one: meet AOL user 2281868. What do we know about him?…He’s also curious whether or not “niggers are Satan or gremlins or demons.””

AOL Hates Hugs
“Although several hundred 14 year old boys lose their virginity to portly displaced man-children pretending to be women in AOL’s chat rooms every day, AOL has bigger fish to fry: the sleazy, nefarious hug. Or “((Hugs))” as it is known in AOL chat parlance, where ‘Hugs’ is replaced with the name of the recipient.”

Comments

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  1. superbmtsub says:

    Oh the memories.

  2. zpweeks says:

    Regarding the pic….
    Did somebody say “goatse”…?

  3. medalian1 says:

    AOL news? WTF? That’s sooo 2006! Who uses them?

  4. orielbean says:

    They are sooo 1996. They still make their own content?

  5. orielbean says:

    They should reduce like a good white wine & cream sauce down to AIM. The rest is water vapor.

  6. MarahMarie says:

    @ medalian1

    >AOL news? WTF? That’s sooo 2006! Who uses them?

    You’d be surprised. I get more hits to the how-to section of my site, with the tutorials on how to uninstall AOL (#1 hit), how to cancel their so-called service (#2) and even file a complaint against them (#3), than you can imagine. 70-180 people use my how-to tutorials each day.

    I’ll tell you one thing, no one wants to read about AOL. I don’t bother updating about them unless I feel like it, even if that means I write about something stupid AOL has done three weeks after it happened, since no one cares, anyway.