What kind of tips are these? It seems to have been written by an unprofessional call rep. who either is on a powertrip, or is trying to qualify their meaningless job and should be fired.

What a smart-azz...no wonder you work a low-life job as a phone rep. And maybe you should learn to spell before sending in your "story'...you won't look quite so bad. Your venom is uncoming.

So it should go:
I am ...
I use company X.
I have problem Y.
Need any more info?
Fix the problem, please.

douche bag.

I wonder if all call-center reps are this illiterate and (unreasonably, given their job titles and functions) power-mad? if so, no wonder most calls to people like them are painful and unproductive for the customer.

Wow, do I have to pay extra for the attitude, or is that part of the "service"?

This rep would last 1 day with me

I love #2 especially, it takes me back to my own days in the ISP technical support mines. It was amazing how many of our non-commercial accounts were held by Very Important Businessmen Losing Thousands Of Dollars whenever there was an outage.

Sorry, but this is utterly useless information. This post is beyond pointless; there is NO insider information whatsoever except for the fact that you should be nice, but that's a universal rule.

Maybe I should write about my experiences working in an automotive finance industry.. that would be a heck of a lot more interesting than this cr*p.

Guess what, kids? This is probably how the majority of call center reps feel about you. I've been one and I've supervised many (and thank god those days are over and done with). All that counts is how they're hitting their metrics and expectations. They're allowed to think -- and even say, out of band -- whatever they want.

It can't seriously come as a shock or surprise to anyone that call centers are filled with people like this. Can it?

Sadly this is pretty typical of call reps. I know because I used to be one.

So first he says "I don't care about you", and then admonishes the customer to "be nice". That's not a douchebag. That's a twatwaffle.

I don't think anyone is actually surprised that this is the attitude of call reps. can sympathize with this writer's obvious exasperation and nihilism, and I imagine those feelings are pretty universal in the industry. However, doesn't the tone and execution of the piece come off as just bitchy and unsophisticated, not helpful or "insidery"? Perhaps not the best strategy to make readers feel grateful for your oh-so-helpful insights.

Additionally, I can back up his story that the reps play games while they talk to you. I know someone that used to work for a Sears call center, & not only would they play flash games while talking to you, they'd even play MONOPOLY.

I think some of these are correct. I myself have worked as a rep for Dish Network and can agree with a lot of these, except for the playing games. My job required me listening to customers of course, but I liked being able to put the symptoms together like puzzle pieces and solve technical problems, and you could always hear the customer's happiness in their voice.

On the other hand, Dish Network is the reason why I refuse to do any more customer service. The only times I wouldn't listen to them was when they call in for help but spend the first half hour yelling at me for a problem that I never caused. If you had your negotiating abilities robbed from you by the customer (as well as the rules from upper management) you'd be power-hungry too. Otherwise you'd just get paid to put up with people's complaints all day, and that's not what I was hired to do. Think about it though: would anyone want that job if a company advertised it that way? No company would allow their employees to go off on an unruly customer, so you bet we have rules like these. Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes, or in this case, had to deal with tech, billing, and customer issues for a month.

Regarding BS, we've had people hack our systems, which in turn cost us money. And it sorta did have an effect on us when we had to come in for mandatory overtime.

I too could solve some tech issues in my head before the customer would finish speaking, but when I gave directions on how to fix it I'd wait for them on the phone to ensue that the problem was resolved before getting off the phone. If it wasn't resolved I'd stay on the phone or put the customer on hold until I could find someone who knew the answer (and of course you'd have to get on the phone every so many seconds to let the customer know that you hadn't forgot about them). It's just too bad that custys were not allowed to get us directly otherwise it would save a lot of misinformation from other reps.

So yeah, I can relate to this list, but not all CSRs are awful.

Number 9 pisses me off: Do you want a job or not? The people calling are keeping you employed!

I could understand complaining about people who keep breaking their product but whining because the problem was easy to solve? Dude!

7 doesn't make sense. Why would I think it would make me money?

6 is the heart of the problem. Don't expect us to feel sorry for you for having your crappy job. You're stuck in it for a reason.

Heaven forbid anyone should actually expect you to do your frakking job. Obviously this person was forced into a life of indentured servitude as a call center rep. And the audacity of customers actually wanting to get service from customer service reps.... How dare they?!?!? Those reps need to go back to playing their stupid flash games and thinking about how disappointing their pitiful lives have turned out to be.

My bad for interrupting your gameplay, don't we PAY you?

I'm trying to think of what an example for #9 would be. I can set up my own 800 number? I shouldn't have to call in for that?

But it does sound like this person's company caters to people who want to Make Money Fast. (You set up an 800 number because someone *told* you to?) That's gotta suck.

SOme of this is true, but most of it is not in my experience.

I have worked several CSR jobs and most of the call centers I worked at we were ot able to play games and stuff.

Also, I cared about my customers and I know that the people around me cared as well, as long as they were nice to us. Often, whens call were completed they would get a survey, which almost everything is based off of, so why would I want to make an enemy and get a low score? Makes no sense to me...

Disclaimer: once upon a time, I too was a phone-pony doing CSR. It was a menial job, frustrating and unrewarding, repetitive and generally miserable.

It's not hard to see how someone gets to be jaded and bitter like this person. So allow me to 'translate' these 10 points into more gentle language...

#10: While the CSR is talking to you, they're also doing something else. Playing games would be nice; most call-centers have CSRs also handle mail complaints or do other work in addition to handling calls. You are not the center of their attention, but that's OK, because...

#9: If you're calling with a problem, your problem is probably not unique, rare, or even uncommon. Give the most basic details, and let the CSR drive the call with questions. Odds are, they won't need to ask many questions, and you'll get your problem solved quicker.

#8: CSRs are judged on metrics, and those metrics include "calls taken" and "average call time". Discussing anything but business with a CSR hurts their evaluation. If you really want to be nice to a CSR, don't talk about things unrelated to your issue.

#7: See points 8 & 9 above; the service you're asking for isn't unique, exotic, or odd. Talking more than you need to hurts the CSRs numbers. "I'm calling to set up a toll-free number because I've signed up with company X" is all you need to say. Asking "how do I do that" is unnecessary; either the CRS will do it for you, or tell you what you need to do. Saying anything about the company is equally unnecessary.

#6: CSRs are supposed to be "friendly" without being your friend. They will be polite and sound nice; don't mistake that with wanting to do anything but resolve your call as efficently as possible.

#5: a corillary to point 10 is that you, as a customer, are probably not unique, rare, or uncommon in your behavior. CSRs don't use a "1% solution" to handling customers; if your early behavior makes you look like a problem-case, its probably because you are. Treat all first-impressions with a company (whether its with a sales person, the CEO, or a CSR) with equal gravity. Just because a CEO is paid more than a CSR doesn't make it OK to waste either of their time.

#4 & #3: CSRs are people, not automated systems. This means they're vulnerable to manipulation, either intentionally or unintentionally. Yelling at a person makes them not like you, and human beings tend to do less for people they don't like, and more for people they do like. Yes, it's selfish, and that nice people get better treatment than rude people might even be considered 'unprofessional'. But them's the breaks, folks. If you're bothered by this idea, don't be rude.

#2: see points 10 & 5; your account, as a customer, is probably not unique, rare, or even uncommon. Not only that, but CSRs have access to a lot of information about your account, including history and often notes from previous calls. So exaggerating your claims, or trying to argue for 'one-time' exceptions more than once, are efforts doomed to failure. Yes, unusual circumstances do occur, but CSRs take enough calls in a day/week/month to have a good gauge of what is "unusual".

#1: CSRs answer calls to resolve business issues, and nothing else, and do so as efficently as possible. Don't say anything that doesn't relate to your reason for calling. Don't add detail unless the CSR asks for it or unless you feel it is essential in helping make a decision. Don't add detail after a decision is made.

Let me add my own points::

#0: If you have a complaint, have a clear sense of what resoltion(s) you would find acceptable before you make the call. Once you're made your complaint, wait for an immediate response, and if there is none, ask for your resolution(s). CSRs, like everyone else, are happiest if you not only tell them what is wrong, but what can be done to make you happy. Not only that, but makes the calls go faster which makes both of you happier.

#-1: If you're trying to get a problem fixed, it will fall into one of three categories: things the CSR can resolve, things that require the call to be elevated, and things that can't be resolved to your satisfaction. Once you're stated your desired resolution, determine if the CSR can resolve it. If they can't fix it, don't waste any more time. (your or theirs) Escalate the call immediately. The second a CSR says "I'm sorry, but I can't..." immediately (and politely!) escalate to the next level.

Wow. Aren't you all polite. How much customer service have you worked? After a week like I've had, I feel exactly like this person.

I do sudoku on calls. I have ADD. While I'm listening to someone prattle on about their day, I can either stare off into space, or keep myself focused. So I play sudoku or I knit. Deal with it.

And yes, be nice. I deal with so many whiny people in a day that those that approach things in a polite and professional manner are a breath of fresh air.

Is this person coming across as bitchy? Maybe. But what you all are implying is that we call center reps shouldn't care how badly you treat us and still laugh and smile and be wonderful little pieces of sunshine. I'm sorry- when did the world start revolving around you?

The average customer of my company "pays" for mere pennies of my paycheck. And 9 times out of 10... it's not the customer that upsets the rep. It's the job. All my management cares about is how many calls I take. They don't give a fuck how well I take the call: just that it's done. I get chewed out and treated like crap if I go over 20 minutes on a call. "Doing my job" is getting you off the phone and squared away as quickly as possible to take the next call.

Is it a good system? No. But it's what call centers have devolved to. And if you're treating me badly... well screw you. I'm not taking YOUR abuse and my supervisors getting angry at me.

I had a customer today who was polite and the technician ANOTHER department sent out made a mistake. I could have just dumped her into their queue. However, because she was polite, I sat there and played phone tag and worked with my management to get the issue fixed and the technician straight back out.

I had another customer today who wasn't satisfied with getting 2mbps. We guarantee 768k to 3mbps. He wanted the full 3. And despite the contract he signed stating he'd get between the 768k and the 3mbps, he wouldn't quit whining. If your phone lines can't handle the highest speed- I'm sorry, I can't do anything. I can TRY and I did, but I had to sit there and suffer his whining and insulting me to do it. Did I rush him off the line? Yes. Did I adopt a bored tone of voice? Yes. Why? Not because I'm bad at my job, but because he expected me to do something that I and countless other reps were incapable of doing (I can set your speed at it's highest- but if YOUR lines can't handle it, I can't do anything about that) and was treating me poorly when I apologized, repeatedly, and tried to explain.

So before you judge this person, try to put yourself in their shoes. Try to think of how you'd feel after 40+ hours a week of listening to people complain, insult you, and get upset over things that, easily half the time, is their own fault ("What do you mean my connection got locked for downloading that movie!?", "You mean I have to leave this plugged in?", "It said I had a virus, but I thought that didn't matter.")....

What a jerk. How does useless garbage like this even get posted?

It's true, this is how call center CSRs feel about most customers. Keep in mind you aren't the only one that CSR talks to in a day. Much abuse is doled out by many customers who have called before you that day. It adds up over time, it chips away at your soul and makes you a jaded, bitter person who trusts no one (more than half of the customer I ever dealt with were blantant liars, CSRs know when you are exaggerating to try to get your way). After several years in technical call centers I finally had to leave, the abuse and attitudes from know-it-all customers sucked. Oh, and "lowly" CSRs as someone stated above? I made around $50k in my early 20's, and no it wasn't sales. Don't blame the CSRs, blame their management and the nature of the business for forcing their behavior. Oh, and blame previous customers who have tried every trick in the book to get unreasonable discounts, refunds or services. Be nice and be honest even if it means swallowing your pride and admitting that you didn't understand contract terms or screwed up and made a mistake. You'll be amazed at how far that will get you.

Having been employed as a rep for a number of companies in a number of fields I can honestly say that this guy's tone and opinion is pretty much in line with anyone who's done the job for a long period of time.

The fact of the matter is in service calls (ie non technical) there's only so much lateral space one can work in. Your drive to help people becomes suffocated. You are not "allowed" to do whatever possible to resolve issues and often you know what needs to be done to fix that issue but you cannot step outside company policy to do so. Or simply your "tools" cannot perform those functions.

So after long periods of wanting to help people but constantly being frustrated that you cannot, coupled together with the fact that people often berate and insult CSRs they will (like anyone) change (usually slowly and unnoticed) their outlook.

No longer will they genuinely wish to resolve a problem they will form negative emotions to associate with the client. There by allowing them to do what is required to keep their low paying job.

CSR's will often begin to want to end every call as quickly as possible and only "stick to the metrics" and often follow company policy to the letter. This usually leads the guy/girl to have very little job satisfaction and they will often project that newfound anger toward a customer by taking pleasure in denial of service that they are either unable to not allowed to provide. So it become a sick and twisted game almost.

Usually the best advice for anyone calling a "customer service desk" is to.

1. Stick to the facts, Tell them only what you need too.

2. Be polite and business oriented, maintain your decorum and avoid harsh language and insults. Often these people are under employed, Show them mercy.

3. Know what you want and let them know too, others have said it before. Don't call with the problem call with what you want done. X is broken I want it fixed/replaced/money back. If the guy your talking too can't do that then move on to the next (escalate). Remember though many call centers punish for escalations, be polite and let the person you escalate too know that the previous person did all they could (if they infact did). Seriously show some humanity. :)

4. Let your dollars do the talking. If this company cannot provide a fair solution to legitimate issues. Then don't buy their products or services, and be sure to visit consumerist and let everyone know about it.

Wow...

That's all I can really say is "wow..."

I mean when I was a CSR I would do other things...while you rattle on about your life I'm really looking for three pieces of information: who you are, what your problem is, and how you'd like me to deal with it.

But Jesus, this guy makes me think he WANTS to be rude to the customer.

I didn't hate on my customers...in fact I was usually thankful that they called me rather than trying it themselves ("No, sir, you shouldn't have put that screwdriver in the CD-ROM drive...").

#11 - Learn the difference between "your" and "you're." Geez that drives me nuts.

@rodeobob: Great post Rodeo.

I used to work in a collections call center, and trust me: I've heard every "excuse" in the book. We cut your phone off because you didn't pay the bill. You know that's why we cut it off.

For the record: I got pulled off the phones in that job when a customer called to say she couldn't pay the bill right then because her father had died and she was on the way to bury him. After reading the notes and discovering her father had already died 4 times in the past 2 years, I advised her she could have the funeral procession stop at a local store to pay her bill. There was dead silence on the other end of the phone for a few seconds before she hung up.

Well, if this guy is telling the truth about how he approaches his job, he is the only rep i've ever known that actually solves problems on the first call. From my experience people get mad and yell after they've been one the phone for 1 hour, 30 minutes on hold, waiting for someone to tell them that they are sorry, but they can't do anything to solve the problem.

$10 for a declined credit card?! That's totally outrageous.

There are plenty of reasons for a card to be declined. Mine was declined at a restaurant because the fraud detectors caught someone just a few hours prior charging $200 in groceries, then $400 in groceries, and then a $1500 Apple Store purchase to my card. I had the card; someone stole the number. If the card wasn't automatically killed, they could have easily racked up more charges that same day.

I've also had my card declined when my bank's computer systems go down, or when the credit card networks have a hiccup (debit mode worked fine).

Wow, angry because someone expects you to stop playing games and do your job? No one's going to feel sorry for you. If you want to be able to play games and not be bothered, why don't you quit your job and go play WoW all you want?

Oh, right. You want to get paid to do nothing.

Not happening.

No wonder you haven't told us who you work for -- you'd get fired if your bosses knew about this attitude.

That he worked "mean people suck" into a list of how he hates customers is the pinnacle of f'ed up irony.

What a piece of garbage.

YOUR RETARDED

And a jerk, too.

@Buran:

Its a natural human reaction to circumstances. People when faced with adversity will compensate to deal with this. Some simply move on, some let their anger get the better of them.

It sucks. One thing I'd like to point out is that this type of attitude is usually limited to contracted call centers. Companies that take calls FOR another company. Their employee's are often under paid, neglected in terms of motivation and job security and are often poorly trained.

This could all be avoided with more direct contact with their reps. Companies that rank highest in the industry are often the ones that employ their reps directly. Usually paying considerably more and working harder to ensure they are both trained properly and motivated.

Her* (His?)attitude in the confessions make her (him?) sound like an arrogant bitch (jerk?).

*I have a feeling it's a confession from a woman, but to be p.c., I included male pronouns.

@cncpun:
That's why the are reps, making $6 an hour. They can't cut it in the real world.

Backed 100%. I work licensing for a software company and my job is to help you get your software working/get you the proper number of licenses, etc.

Yelling and arguing and telling me how YOU do things or trying to make a philosophical arguement as to WHY you shouldn't purchase the proper number of licenses will not get you anywhere, because with very very very few exceptions, i'm right and you are wrong.

@buran, i think you are missing his underlying point: call, get to the point, be nice = problem solved.

Dont tell elaborate stories (true or not), dont make excuses, dont act like you're best buddies, dont dick around. Just get to the point, nicely and quickly.

I like that everyone here thinks he is a jerk for wanted to get through a call without some guy (or girl) making excuses, yelling at/lying to/making small talk with him.

I'm sure his boss likes the fact that he wants to get the calls done as quickly as possible.

Yeah, not really understanding the vitriol directed at this post. It's harsh, but it's completely honest. Or maybe that's the problem.

Retail workers, food service drones, customer service reps, hotel help; whatever the label, whatever the sector, one thing is certain: these people don't like you. They don't. Pointblank. And they have good reason not to. People, on their own, are more or less well-meaning and good. At least tolerable. The Public, the animal we work with on the other hand, is whiny, indignant, entitled, vulgar, pushy, rude, and mindblowingly filthy. Also stupid. So stupid. Nearly without exception.

I work in retail now, and while I consider myself to be, in general, a pretty nice person, I can tell you that after three months, I hated The Public with an all-consuming, burning, twitching, righteous passion I've never known. Just day after day, it becomes so bad that after this constant stream of bastards just absolutely berating you for mistakes that ninety-five percent of the time are entirely their fault, one chick says "How are you?" in a semi-sincere way and you're ready to comp her entire order because she made you feel human again.

This is probably seeming like a pretty broad brush I'm using, but it's no broader than the one painting all customer service industry workers as "failures" who "can't cut it in the real world."

Nothing new here. Be nice, get to the point, and many CSRs are immature, self-centered, bitter tools. Sigh.

@Pelagius: "you're" ;) ... sorry, just too perfect an opportunity.

you can (mostly) tell who worked in customer service and who didn't by their comments above (and below). Through career changes, I no longer do customer service work. But #4 is the most important and true statement in the vast majority of cases. Not only be nice to call center reps, but how about treating all people nicely? Because of that experience, I've never had trouble once I get on a call with CSRs (after the crazy prompts) or when I deal with any retail employee from stores to restaurants.

@smarty:
the benefits have been nice (first class seats - will be my 3rd time in 1st class for the price of discount coach, lower than advertised credit card interest rates, new cell phone every year while only extending a contract for 1 yr instead of 2, etc...) It really works.

Look, I haven't worked in call service, but I have worked in customer service many times. I don't know if the standards are completely different for being on the phone versus face-to-face, but here's how it is as a normal customer service person.

1) Yes, you could have spent 45 seconds solving the problem yourself (e.g. finding the bathroom, getting sauce packets), and I've heard it all before, but I'll just tell you, because it'll only take 45 seconds of my time now.

2) I don't really want to hear your life story, but in case you tell me, I shall become an expert in smiling and nodding. I may think about my plans after work, but no game playing! Kinda obvious when they're right there.

3) I never worked in a place where large amounts of money were at stake, so I tended to trust the customer. If they said they had some special pass letting them in free, but left it at home, but were nice to me, hey, I'll let you in.

4) Do I care about you? I care about solving your problem in as quick and as polite a manner as possible, if only to make my job less stressful. I care about you as much as you can about a stronger.

5) Does being nice count? Absolutely. You may get perks, and a good dose of niceness and patience can make my day. Being mean? You'll get the bare minimum of service, and influence how I deal with customers after you.

6) Smiles and infinite patience, while difficult and draining, will stand out to people. You could end up being the nicest person they've talked to all day, and sometimes customers reciprocate with really nice gestures of their own. (One customer say me getting lunch outside of work and he came over and bought my lunch for me.)

The bottom line? I guess because it's over the phone that people feel like they can be rude, but why get that job unless you can be decent to people? I'm not really a people-person, I'm rather introverted and not really cheerful or enthusiastic.. but I fake it for the sake of customer service. I did this in various jobs, 8 hours a day, in uniforms, and on my feet. I have sympathy for these CSRs in that they may have just dealt with a tough customer, but still, did they never learn about customer service they way I did? This person's attitude is unacceptable.

Give as you get. If both parties treat each other like people, everything will work out.

@tadiera:

"I have ADD....deal with it."

No, take your meds and do your job.

That's how I'd deal with you.

Wow, I've never seen a more pointless post, unless the point was to show what an imbecile the author is.

Everyone's doing a good job tearing apart that trash, here's my $0.02:

What does this mean? It means that you could have fixed it yourself

Awww, poor baby. We interrupted your precious flash game playing time to do your job, for the company who we pay. And what do you suggest, DIY billing adjustments? DIY cancellations? How 'bout your employers maybe make those features available on their webpages, so we can do it ourselves? Then they can fire your self-aggrandizing butt and you can go home and play flash games.

By the way, people who play flash games are lusers with not enough technical acumen to even pick a decent vice with which to pollute their obviously flatulence infested brains.

Agreed. I think people forget that customer service is there to help solve your problem with their product or service. They are not there to be your friend. They don't care what you did today, yesterday, or last week. That don't care that your aunt/grandmother/stepsister's uncle-in-law just died. Sure, that's sad, but honestly I don't know you personally, and I can't solve that problem, so don't waste your breath or my time. It's not a contradiction for the CSR to expect you to be realistic and to be nice at the same time.

I fail to see how this empowers the consumer. I'm not sure if the author is being facetious or sarcastic or serious, however it sure sounds like he/she doesn't enjoy doing their job. Providing excellent customer service may not be the most exciting job, but sometimes once in awhile you come across a really grateful person that you helped and it can make it worth it.

Most of the times not..

Pet Peeve: It's "couldn't care less". If you "could care less", you're saying that you "care somewhat".