Sultry-Voiced Talking Urinal Cakes Remind Men Not To Drink And Drive

Courtesy of New Mexico’s Transportation Department, some bars in the state have received electronic urinal cakes, which not only deodorize, but also provide advice.

“Hey there, big guy. Having a few drinks?” a female voice says a few seconds after an approaching male sets off a motion sensor in the device. “It’s time to call a cab or ask a sober friend for a ride home.”

“Big guy” ? Why, thanks for noticing, sultry-voiced urinal cake!

(You can hear the voice by clicking through to the article, scrolling down a bit, and watching the video. No actual urinal use is depicted.)

What would really be more helpful is a urinal cake that somehow measures your blood alcohol content, to see if you’re genuinely sauced. Sexy voice optional. MARK ASHLEY

DWI message finds home in urinal [Santa Fe New Mexican] (Thanks Dr. Vino!)

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  1. GenXCub says:

    There was a story on this here in Vegas as well… along with the inevitable “someone is stealing the talking urinal cakes” story about a week later.

  2. timmus says:

    If these things creep out of bars and start appearing in restaurant and airport bathrooms to spout off advertising, I’m going to be, uh, pissed. Peeing is a sacred holy time; a time of manly meditation and reflection.

  3. royal72 says:

    “What would really be more helpful is a urinal cake that somehow measures your blood alcohol content, to see if you’re genuinely sauced. Sexy voice optional.”

    that’s the sad part about it. if you have “a” drink, you are sauced according to the law. if you don’t already know, when you get a dui, you’re charged with two counts. (1) driving with a blood alcohol level of .08 or greater and (2) driving while under the influence. that translated means you may only have a bac of .05 and yes you will get a dui for driving under the influence. also, if you should find yourself in court, be aware that the law states that a breathalizer test can be considered accurate within .02 points in either direction, ie: you will convicted of a dui… just a friendly word of advice to my fellow “a glass of wine with dinner” friends.

  4. EtherealStrife says:

    Ugh and what happens when 2+ people are urinating at the same time?

    These are going to get really irritating really fast. It’d be better to just have an attachment to the autoflush urinals, that plays that message when someone breaks the beam. Have em all wired up so only one talking urinal can play at a time.

  5. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    “Ugh and what happens when 2+ people are urinating at the same time? “

    For a moment, I thought you meant two guys to one urnial. I was about to ask what kind of bars you frequent.

  6. Nicholai says:

    @EtherealStrife:
    Yah, good idea. Just don’t be surprised when some drunk guy comes out of the bathroom and yells “theres a girl in there!”

  7. faust1200 says:

    Fast forward a few generations as I am speaking to my extended family and grandchildren “…and on that fateful night I got home safely. So you see, none of us would be here if it weren’t for the wisdom of The Talking Urinal Cake.” “I love you Talking Urinal Cake!” It just occurred to me that “urinal” and “cake” should not be in the same sentence…. yech.

  8. FLConsumer says:

    For the drunk guy’s sake, I hope he doesn’t try to kiss the girl.

  9. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    @faust1200:

    Better than a toilet pie.

  10. FLConsumer says:

    Bahahahaha… did anyone go to the link and listen to the actual talking urinal cake?

    It finishes by saying, “Your future is in your hand.”

  11. MattyMatt says:

    The message that these send is clear: urinating on women will provoke them into flirting with you.

  12. FLConsumer says:

    Where’s the feminist outcry?

  13. TinaB says:

    Does the sultry voice work on dudes in gay bars?

  14. QuirkyRachel says:

    hahahahaha! That’s hilarious! I don’t know if it would actually work or not. I like the idea of the urinal cake being able to test your blood alcohol level.

  15. mac-phisto says:

    roadtrip to new mexico! i wonder if it’s possible to activate them all with one stream. worth a try!

  16. iMike says:

    @TinaB: Gay version voiced by Ryan Secrest.

  17. mathew says:

    Why would anyone steal urinal cakes? They taste disgusting. Better to steal cream cakes.

  18. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty talking urinal cake.

    >_>

    Okay, that is the last lame joke I’m posting on this topic.

  19. @royal72: That clarification on DWI is what should be posted in bars and restaurants.

  20. Pasketti says:

    If the urinal started talking to me in midstream, I’m not ashamed to admit that it would FREAK ME OUT.

  21. GenXCub says:

    @iMike: I lol’d :) I’m sure the Dugout, Ty’s, The Hangar, and others on Christopher street would buy those in a split second!

  22. pestie says:

    @mathew: Damn, you beat me to it! I was going to say something like, “Note: urinal cakes are a scam! They don’t actually taste anything like cake.”

    The electronics hacker in me wants to swipe a few of these and replace the guts with something that has more interesting things to say? Like, “Wow! That looks just like a miniature penis, but smaller!” I have a female friend who does the best sultry-phone-sex voice ever. It’d be perfect.

    I know what you’re thinking now – how the hell do you steal a urinal cake and not contaminate yourself to the point where you just want to throw up? Easy: put on a rubber glove, grab the cake, then use your uncontaminated hand to pull the rubber glove inside-out, simultaneously removing the glove and safely encapsulating the urinal cake. Getting it back out is left as an exercise to the reader.

  23. TVarmy says:

    The janitors are going to hate this. Think about it:

    Hearing someone of the opposite sex address you literally from out of nowhere would startle anyone. Guys naturally have bad aim (I’m owning up for our collective sins), and it takes more concentration than you’d think. Given a few drinks, this could completely decimate the ratio of pee in the urinal to pee on the floor.

  24. Actually us gays are majorly turned off by Ryan Cheezecrest.

    Jake Gyllenhall is a different story.

  25. synergy says:

    Hmm. My husband has never missed the toilet. Glad he’s not “average.” heh

  26. rg says:

    First of all, as a gay man Ryan Seacrest’s voice is the last one i want to hear when i’m taking a whiz, i’d rather hear a man’s voice!

    Secondly, do we really want to be turning guys on when they’re peeing?

  27. wallspray says:

    Atleast this is a socially conscious urinal cake rather than those damn advertisements I have been seeing lately. I had a urinal cake invite to see one of those stupid american pie spin offs the other night… too bad it wasn’t the new adam sandler flick “reign over me” It seems more fitting.

  28. FLConsumer says:

    I did think about the whole hack aspect of it… ‘though I wondered…at $20/urinal cake, how long before they outsource this to real, live illegals or Indians? If there’s 4 urinals per bathroom, that’s $80…

    “Hey Senor! You pee on floor, you clean it yourself.”

    Or

    “Sir, I theenk you are making mess of toilet. drinking because of.”

  29. golgiapparatus says:

    …what the hell is a “D.W.I.?” What’s the “W” stand for? I’m oblivious, apparently.

  30. Wrenae says:

    Golgiapparatus: Driving While Intoxicated.