This story is precisely why we’ve decided to avoid buying furniture from any store that doesn’t specialize in furniture. Christian and his wife bought a couch from Target and had it shipped to the house for $100. It turns out that “Target Ground” was really just UPS, and the 6 foot couch took no less than 3 boxes and 2 drop-offs for UPS to deliver in its entirety. Oh wait. They didn’t deliver it in its entirety because they forgot the screws and legs needed to put the couch together.

Target’s solution to this is not to apologize and mail the screws and legs to Christian and his wife. The solution is Christian and his wife should box up the couch and have UPS pick it up. They don’t have the boxes the couch came in (because they had to cut the boxes off to get the couch out). Target also suggested they just bring the couch down to their local Target and drop it off in the customer service department.

All Christian needs is some screws…and legs. He doesn’t want to bring the couch back.

Read his (really funny) email exchange with Target inside.

Target writes:

I’m sorry for any inconvenience you’ve experienced with this situation.
Yes, the “Metropolitan Upholstered Sofa – Chocolate” may be returned
to a Target Store.

We will issue a full refund for most items returned in new condition
within 90 days of shipment, with the original packaging and
accessories. If you no longer have the original box, the store
should still be able to accept the return in most cases.

The store associate will issue the refund back to the original
payment method (credit card or GiftCard).

However, our stores aren’t set up to refund shipping or Gift Wrap
charges. So after you return the item at Store, please contact us
so that we can refund you for the associated shipping charges.

Christian writes:

Hello! I would like a full refund for this couch, including the cost of shipping, as I am DONE dealing with your company! Maybe you can see from my MANY previous emails or possibly notations from all of the calls my wife and I have made to customer service that our lovely couch that we purchased with money we received as a gift for our wedding… that we purchased to match the matching chair that my grandmother bought us for our wedding (and is in fine condition, but useless as it does not have a matching couch to compliment it and never will it seems)… our lovely couch came missing all of the hardware and legs to actually put it together. Returning such a massive thing seems absurd and returning through the mail is simply impossible as UPS will not ship anything out of box and I wouldn’t know how to begin to find a box big enough for this six foot couch. Returning it in store is what I truly would love to do, as it would be hilarious and I would film it for my own enjoyment (sending a copy to your corporate headquarters, of course… so that you can see how I tell every customer that looks at my wife and I and our massive pieces of couch about our experiences with it) but returning in store would require the rental of a truck, as this thing could nowhere near fit into our compact car. It is ALMOST worth me biting the bullet and paying for that truck rental, but I’ve decided the best option for me at this point is to throw the pieces of the couch into a lake. I think you would also agree that that is my best option, dear Target, as you have not offered any better. Please refund all of my money for this purchase, I will draw you a map to the lake that I will throw the couch into and we can make our return.

Target writes:

I’m sorry for the problem with your order. We

ll be happy to help
you out with this return. UPS will pick up the “Metropolitan
Upholstered Sofa – Chocolate” and when we get it back, we’ll refund
you the cost of your order. The request for pick up has been issued
to the shipping address.

We can’t confirm the exact pick-up time or date with UPS. They
should make the first attempt within the next 5-7 business days.

Here’s what you need to do to get your order ready for pickup:
-The driver will bring the return label, so you don’t need to
put one on the package.
-Put the item back in its original packaging.
-If you’re not sure that you’ll be home when UPS comes,
remember to leave the package where they can find it.

Christian writes:

This does not resolve my issue, but instead creates a whole different issue to deal with! A UPS man coming to my door when I have stated in every email that I DO NOT have the original packaging, as the original packaging was quite damaged and dirty and I did not want to drag it in and onto my carpet, so I cut the couch out of it outside. I cannot find any kind of packaging large enough to house a six foot couch. I did, however, like the part of the email where it said I could leave the package where he could see it if I was not home. I could leave this package on the MOON and he could see it, as it is taking up quite a lot of space amongst our apartment and has been for one month now. You see all I wanted were the missing pieces that should have come with my couch, but I guess that isn’t possible, so I will just have to buy a hacksaw and saw this couch into tiny, tiny pieces and then eat each and every piece to finally remove it from my life, one bite at a time.

Good grief, does anyone work at Target? Can you please send Christian the legs of his couch so he doesn’t have to eat the damn thing? He’s really not happy with his Target purchase,

“I now realize that $500 would have been better spent on someone that trains birds of prey to train a very large hawk to peck my eyeballs out and build nests in their sockets.”

Does that cost $500 dollars? —MEGHANN MARCO

Why you should never purchase a couch or any piece of furniture from Target. [Christian Stella]

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