POLL: Which Walmart Customer Are You?

Walmart announced it’s revitalizing its business plan by focusing on three core customer types. We know we’ve been totally cracked out on polls lately but…

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  1. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    You need a 4th option. I don’t shop at Walmart and hate them with every fiber of my being. Or at least just a I dont shop there button.

  2. kerry says:

    What about “Quality sensitive affluent?” I’d rather pay more for higher quality stuff in general, rather than hunt for deals on lower quality versions of the stuff I want.

  3. kerry says:

    (oh, I should have added that it would be under the “nuts to WalMart, I don’t shop there” category.)

  4. Quippish says:

    Needs a “Only place open at 4am that sells anything close to real food.” option.

  5. muddgirl says:

    Yeah, I don’t see myself in any of those categories. I use complicated cost/lifetime ratios.

  6. Katharine says:

    I agree with the need for a “I don’t shop there” option.

  7. mikesfree says:

    but I dont shop there unless there is no choice.

  8. lawnmowerdeth says:

    Nazi T-shirt fanatic?

    Add me to the doesn’t shop there list.. Target all the way.

  9. zolielo says:

    @muddgirl: Same here. Seems that I shop at Costco about 8.5 out of 10 times with a monthly avg of about $326. There I buy a mix of Kirkland to brands such as Cuisinart…

    What does that make me?

  10. ChadJohnson says:

    In addition to all of the wonderful buttons asked for above, it also needs a ‘Last Resort’ button — have to go to Wal-Mart because you’ve travelled too far from civilization to have any other options.

  11. Shutterman says:

    What about, “would love to shop elsewhere but there’s nothing else within 80 miles”?

  12. faust1200 says:

    Yeah um where’s the “Enjoys seeing the pathetic humanity as a sick experiment-gone-wrong so I can feel better about myself” option.

  13. spanky says:

    What kerry and muddgirl said.

    It hurts my feelings when I can’t vote!

  14. Elara says:

    I only visit Wal-Mart at 3am when I’m bored, and then only to sight-see. That’s when the “interesting” people shop.

  15. itmustbeken says:

    I’m more of a ‘Has full set of original teeth and not currently addicted to Meth’ WalMart patron.
    Is that an option?

  16. kenposan says:

    I am that elusive fourth Walmart shopper type: The type that won’t set foot in a Walmart.

  17. Edidid says:

    It really does need an only indesperation option. Only item I have purchased from them was a headlight in the middle of no where MO early in teh AM while driving to a funeral the next morning.

  18. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    My relationship with Wal-Mart is love-hate. The main reasons I shop there are as follows:

    1. It’s right on my way home from work.
    2. It’s open 24 hours a day (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wound up there at midnight to buy groceries).
    3. It’s the only place in town. All the department stores are gone..haven’t seen any of them except Target since the early 90’s. I love Target, but their selection of hardware/automotive/tools is non-existant, nor does ours carry food.
    4. I come for the food, but I usually get a show as well.

    I hate Wal-Mart and all it stands for, but my Yankee cheapness overrides my disdain for the place every time.

  19. itchy feet says:

    I vote for the not-with-a-10-foot-pole option.

  20. taylorich says:

    HA! None of the above. No wonder I can’t stand the place.

  21. etinterrapax says:

    I’m on secret option number 4 myself. My best friend’s office has a corporate charge there, so I only go in when I’m with her and she needs to buy crap for work. And every time I go, I’m reminded why I hate going and always shop elsewhere. I also resent Wal-Mart’s demands that result in brand dilution. It doesn’t help consumers and it doesn’t help manufacturers. It only enriches Wal-Mart at everyone’s expense.

  22. Don Roberto says:

    This feels like the US presidential election: you wish you could vote for something, but you don’t see any choice you like, so you don’t vote at all. I’m not voting on this one.

  23. You can count my vote for a non-vote as well. I havent even skipped to the results.

  24. fizzer fits says:

    I’m not going to vote on this either; there should be a ‘I have no other choice’ option – the last three places I lived in if you wanted something other than food and didn’t prefer the dollar general or driving an hour to an hour and a half, Walmart was/is your only choice. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, sometimes you’re just stuck with the f*ckers.

  25. skippywasserman says:

    Where’s the category for “Yeah, I could pay for this stuff but I like shoplifting at WalMart.”?

  26. Trai_Dep says:

    Another non-voter, since there isn’t a “drive locally owned businesses out of business while cost-shifting health costs to local taxpayers” option. Damn!

  27. matt1978 says:

    There should be a “secret answer” #5:
    “I’m so self-righteous and snobby, I have to comment on how Wal-Mart blows, even though I can’t imagine shopping anywhere else.”

    It’s a store, not the downfall of society.

  28. Don Roberto says:

    Matt is right. It’s only a store….

    a DRAB store… but only a store nonetheless.

  29. TechnoDestructo says:

    It’s the only thing within 110 miles that has >blank

    I’m the “if I had other options, I wouldn’t” Walmart shopper.

    Also “I don’t shop there” is not a type of Walmart shopper.

  30. @TechnoDestructo: I think this is a large percentage of the population. I can buy a new wireless router, a battery, a drill, and some frozen curry dishes at 3am? count me in.

  31. KevinQ says:

    I’m with kerry on the “Quality sensitive affluent.” I guess part of the reason why I hate Walmart is because, as they seemingly admit, they’re not selling to me. I prefer quality over quantity, and all three of their groups are price obsessed (quantity) instead of quality obsessed.

    K

  32. ckilgore says:

    This is the only situation I can think of where I can call myself affluent. Sign me up!

  33. aka Cat says:

    @matt1978: It’s not that I’m self-righteous and snobby (well, ok, just a little), it’s that I’m a poll addict and I feel left out.

    I’ll only shop at WalMart if I need something immediately, it’s 2am and the grocery store doesn’t carry it. That’s happened once in the last ten years.

  34. phrygian says:

    I voted as Wal-Mart would categorize me, if I were to shop there: price sensitive affluent — although I agree with the other commenters who bemoaned the need for “quality sensitive affluent.”

    I haven’t gone to a Wal-Mart in at least 5 years though. So, they aren’t really trying to market to me.

  35. billhelm says:

    None of the above.

  36. raindog says:

    OK, I picked “price sensitive affluent” but I’m definitely in the “only place open at 4am” category.