A Humble Suggestion: Do Not Try To Trade Your Baby For A Dodge Intrepid

We realize times are tough, but you should not trade your baby for a used Dodge Intrepid. From Fox Colorado:

Police Sergeant Brett Wilson says the department was notified of the alleged baby swap yesterday morning. Within hours, they had mother Nicole Uribe behind bars and the baby safely placed with a foster home.

Wilson says Uribe traded her son to 47-year-old Jose-Juan Lerma and his 27-year-old wife, Irene, for a used Dodge Intrepid.

We know we don’t recommend Payday lenders, but uh, they are better than baby selling. There’s a reason Carmax doesn’t accept toddlers.—MEGHANN MARCO

Woman accused of selling baby for car [Fox Colorado]

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  1. dantsea says:

    And a used Dodge Intrepid, at that. At least she wouldn’t have gotten very far.

  2. Charles Duffy says:

    Why is this illegal?

    No, seriously. You don’t want your child. Someone else *does* want your child, sufficiently to be willing to pay. Someone able to pay for your child presumably is going to be better able to care for said child, so the child is likely to benefit…

    …so why is this illegal?

  3. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    I would have held out for a Toyota.

  4. AtomikB says:

    At least the child would have been in a home where it was wanted. And the Intrepid too, for that matter. Where is the victim?

  5. Die_Fledermaus says:

    Good Deal. She traded her daughter for 3 square meals a day, and a nice secure place to live rent free. Sure it’s not a car, but you take what you can get.

    A great ending would be if the guy who was going to sell her the car, adopted the child from the state.

  6. Firstborn Dragon says:

    I can think of a few reasons it’s illegal. I mean you have no idea what the new parents plan to do with the kid.

    I think it’s more concern for the child’s welfare then anything. Since even if this was an innocent deal, who would oversee this? Next you’ll have parents selling their kids off to who knows who for who knows what reason. And no way to track the kids either.

  7. kenposan says:

    Why is this a Consumerist story? This is something expect to find on Fark.

  8. Scuba Steve says:

    It’s sage financial advice, that’s why. Babies are worth like an Acura or better nowadays.

  9. dculberson says:

    “Why I myself fetched thirty thousand dollars on the black market. And those are 1954 dollars.”

    (sorry, I know I posted this on Jalopnik too, but I love the quote and it fits so very very well.)

  10. Mr. Gunn says:

    This was on Fark, and the Check from God story, and the people don’t know they’re not watching HDTV story, too.

    /fark trifecta in play

  11. faust1200 says:

    @Scuba Steve: As the owner of a new Acura I can safely say that I would rather have it than pooping little snot-bag. At least we know now what life is worth.

  12. Maulleigh says:

    the kid’s better off. Heartbreaking.

  13. Trai_Dep says:

    Buying a baby on the black market is a VERY bad idea. Takes years before you can pimp them out, and the upkeep until then? Insaaane!!

  14. ElizabethD says:

    @Charles Duffy:

    Human trafficking (selling) is illegal in the United States. That’s why this transaction is illegal. Cf: Slavery.

    Too bad for that baby. I hope child & family services will take custody and someday the baby may be cleared for adoption, if Ms. Uribe is unable to provide satisfatory parenting.

  15. abartonkc says:

    @Charles Duffy: It is illegal because those who want a child, but can’t have one, need to go through rigorous background checks to determine if they are fit to take care of a child. The mother in this case, on the other hand, only needed to be able to spread her legs long enough to let natures wonder take place, in order to qualify as an acceptable parent for this baby.

    She should be fixed and never allowed to have another child again. Some mistakes don’t deserver even a second chance.

  16. spanky says:

    So based on the comprehensive information from that article, we’ve decided that they’re guilty?

    The woman was staying with the accused couple. They either lent or gave her some money, including money for a down payment on a car, and they went to a notary public where they signed what they believed was a legal agreement for the couple to take custody of the baby. According to the man accused of buying the baby, they didn’t even plan for it to be permanent custody. He says he was just trying to help a friend get back on her feet.

    So the story is that they bought a baby (or traded a car for a baby), then thoroughly documented their dastardly crime and had the document notarized?

    Yep. That makes sense.

  17. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    Ahh another good reason why people shouldnt be able to have kids without being able to prove they can support them. You have to have a lic. to drive but any dumbass can pop out a few welfare babies…pathetic.

  18. LeopardSeal says:

    @dwayne_dibbly:
    What is with the current flood of anti-Dodge, pro-Toyota sentiment on this blog lately?

    Too many years of buying into corporate import dealer popaganda I guess. I feel sorry for the domestic dealers in the US if this is indicative of the public at large; and according to the latest earnings reports, it is.

  19. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    @onrampofframp: Well, okay, how about a Caddy? It’s a baby, for heaven’s sake..it’s worth more than a Dodge Intrepid or any number of mediocre American-made sedans.

    I’m not necessarily anti-Dodge, or pro-Toyota. But, that said, as soon as Ford, Chevy, or Dodge can build a reasonably sized car that’s incredibly reliable, holds it’s resale value, gets decent gas mileage and runs for 200,000+ plus miles, and isn’t ugly and has a halfway decent interior that doesn’t look like it’s made out of Legos, I’ll surely buy one. Until American car makers figure those things out, I’m not buying one.

    And just so you don’t think I’m totally biased against American makes, my 1991 Escort (with Mazda power-train) was a lot more reliable than my 2004 Volvo (although not nearly as fun to drive). If there’s anything worse than an American car that’s in the shop all the time, it’s a Swedish one.

  20. faust1200 says:

    @onrampofframp: It’s not just propaganda. IN GENERAL, similar costing foreign cars are more reliable and maintain higher resale values over time than their American counterparts. In fact I have a relative who works for GM who says that GM makes a huge deal of money in their maintenance. In their current financial structure, GM at least, would go out of business if they made their cars too sturdy.

  21. Wonder if she will call her car, ‘her baby’, as some people do.