UPDATE: 9 More Hewlett-Packard Company Secrets From A Former Employee
A former Hewlett-Packard worker could barely wait for their non-disclosure-agreement to end so they could spill 14 company secrets to The Consumerist.
1: Many HP Printers, like their laser printers, have a built-in page-count after which they won’t work. This resides in the a transpart sometimes called image or drum kit. Rather than get the printer fixed, it’s often cheaper to buy a new printer, OR you can do a NV ram reset. It resets everything in the printer, including all the page counts, but it’s not without risks.
2: To get past the voice prompt system, repeatedly say “Agent.” It will take two or three repetitions, but it will get you to a human.
3: If a set of cartridges cost more than the printer, don’t buy the printer. It’s considered a “throwaway” printer. HP service techs are told to spend no more than 30 minutes working on these because at that point, you are costing HP money.
[Photo: forester401]
4: HP cartridges have a warranty separate from their printer. The printer might be out of warranty, but the cartridges might not be. Cartridge goes plooey, call in.
5: Any HP printer that has been on the market for 6 months has its tech support outsourced. This means you might wind up talking to India, Canada or Costa Rica. Of the three, Canada at least speaks a variant of American.
6: If you have been told that you will receive a part by a certain date, follow up immediately. HP Parts Store was recently moved to Central America. HP Parts Store isn’t talking to HP Tech Support because the Tech Support CSR can see what is in the HP PS inventory and knows when they’re bullshitting. Every other part of HP hates HP Parts Store because of lost inventory, improper procedures, missed shipments, etc.
7: Using non-HP cartridges in your printer will void your warranty, and sometimes makes stuff blow up real good. The tech support will hang up on you if it is proven that the damage was caused by non-HP cartridges.
8: Just because the sales people say that your HP printer can use 120lbs paper doesn’t mean it actually can. You want the straight dope on a printer? Call up HP tech support or check the website.
9: If your printer is just out of warranty and you have a problem with it, call tech support anyway. You will first likely be directed to a “warranty agent.” Tell them firmly that you have an “extended warranty” and they will forward you on to tech support under “customer claims warranty.” The Tech Agent MUST give you support as per HP policy.
10: Don’t yell at the Tech Support CSRs. Most of them make just over minimum wage and just want to get the call over. If you have a problem, firmly request a supervisor.
11: If you threaten a lawsuit, HP CSRs are told to stop the call immediately and hang up.
12: Many HP CSRs are cross-trained into other departments. It doesn’t hurt to ask if they know about the product or problem if you get misrouted.
13. HP’s Beta Software website is at:
http://www.hp.com/pond/ljbeta/
. Only beta because it hasn’t been put on the distribution cds yet. A lot of drivers here will do stuff that the installation cds won’t. Also has fixes. HP maintains similar unadvertised websites throughout their system…
14.
http://www.hp.com/pond/pnp
Point and print = a new hp toy.
— BEN POPKEN
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Here is the final word on aftermarket cartridges voiding your warranty.
Usage of a compatible does NOT void a warranty. If that cartridge damages the printer, then, of course, the warranty is voided.
Think of it this way: if you put a cheapie air filter in your car, does that void your auto’s warranty? Of course not, unless it causes damage.
All OEM mfrs, whether cars or printers, recommend OEM consumables for obvious reasons. Ink printers are militant in their insistence and even threaten to void your warranty because they essentially give away these printers and make their money on the cartridges.
If I haven’t convinced you, look up the Moss-Magnusson warranty act. It’s the law!
Sounds like a disgruntled former employee with spelling and grammar challenges. Probably got canned because he couldn’t hack it on the street as a tech. He’s probably working at some greasy fast food place saying “you want fries with that?”!!
i noticed it. i didn’t really care honestly.
are you denying that American English differs in no way from (super extra cool british-born) English? i beg to differ.
it seems pretty clear at this point in time that American English is its own language as much as Old English is. no one tries to use Old or Middle English these days to prove some weird superiority.
as such… saying “English” is *better* than “American English” is just as asinine. using a basic Google-as-corpus… the former is considerably less significant than the latter. but i guess that is “bias”… right.
i don’t see anyone dogging on the multitude of Pidgin-English languages. they would seem to be more open to criticism than American-English.
Not having read all posts, I will say if HP printers use a page counter, then stop working until a maintenance kit it installed so damage will not result, and if a kit costs more than a new printer, why use a page counter?
Just let the printer print until it blows up. You might get a few thousand more pages than the 20,000 stated above.
After all, if you throw the printer away after 20,000 pages, what does it matter if it prints over 20,000 and then dies?
I bought a complete pc last march06
It never received the internet. After 9 months of aol and hp technitions. nothing. hp took the computer and so-called fixed it. I just got it back. I tried earthlink .nothing.
i tried comcast cable. I called Hp to tell them, I needed a new password. they told me the warranty was over. Hp would not help me after they has sent me a boggus computer in the first place. I paid 70.00 dollars for them to help me. I would not have gotten anything from HP if I had known all the bullshit.
A friend of mine is selling a 6 year old Hewlett Packard computer and I was just wondering how much it is really worth? I’ve never owned a computer so I can’t tell him what it is really worth? I would really appreciate any kind of assistance you could give! I know computers are a witty invention (Proverbs 28:20) only if they are used in the proper manner! Well I guess that’s about all the commentary I can give for right now, but I’ll look forward to much more commentary in the future! P.S. I just want to remind you all that Jesus loves each and everyone and will continue to bless those who are truly faithful! LOVE ALWAYS your friend in Christ!
I am willing to bet hardly any of you(with the exception of ShoeGazer) know a great deal about HP LaserJet printers, or printers in general. Did you guys know that EVERY HP laserjet printer puts a marking of somekind on every piece of paper printed on it? This marking, whether it be watermark, or yellow dots, correlate with the model and serial of the printer it was made on. NO LASERJET PRINTER HAS A PAGE COUNT THAT IT DIES AT… that is hogwash. Why would HP want to risk losing all that income from consumables by killing your printer after 100k pages? I have seen HP and Lexmark printers top 1,000,000 pages where i work, so kills your idea huh? Too bad this is so late in the argument… I just came across this..
To all those people out there that might be looking at Hewlett Packard as an employer, look again! I am an employee and have been for many years now. Seek a company that cares for its employees. A company that wants to help there FAMILY grow and helps them with an actual budget. At this point, Mark has cut so much of the talent from HP that the clients suffer and they do not even know it. Over the coarse of my employment, I have seen the company transform from a US & International company that is family focused and believes in Bill & Dave’s “HP WAY” to a primarily global company that outsources anyone possible at any cost to the client as long as it is not clear where the degradation is occurring. Going global is great for some things, however HP’s stand, directly from HR, is “GO GLOBAL & PUSH THE NA EMPLOYEE OUT ASAP TO LOWER COST”. Let me highlight five of the top reason to avoid Hewlett Packard!
1. Once you are in the fold, expect that Hewlett Packard will short you as much as possible and in any way possible and even in ways that you never thought possible. (Ex no raise when it is years over due, no pension, loss of vacation accrual, ECT ECT)
2. Once you are in the fold, there is a 90% chance that your functions will change and you will be expected to adapt without any formal training. This is a fun one because people inside HP are great and very smart people. We all sit there and wonder what idiot thought of this. It destroys client confidence and employee confidence all at once. 2 bird 1 stone.
3. Once you are in the fold, if you would like to put in for an advancement or role change, expect it to be much more difficult inside Hewlett Packard than if you were some new person off the street. This may seem to be amazing, but it really is true.
4. Once you are in the fold, if you are unfortunate enough to get any advancement do not expect a raise. Instead, expect a pay decrease because you were honored with this gift of more work and more responsibility. I kid you not!!!!! Another funny note on this one is, if your position is posted as an outside requisition and you as an internal person get the role, they will not give you a pay increase where someone from the outside of the company will get the correct pay! Incredible, but true.
5. Once you are in the fold, expect that there will be a highly touted open door policy that will not be adhered to. (It is a trap) I do not care who you email or talk to, it will get back to you manager and if you have a good one they will understand that they could not fix the issue and just slap you silly.
In summation, I would like to ask that if Mark were to every read this, I would hope that he would wake up and take control of the company that he is driving. Look at Google, it is a great company and treats its employees right. We do not need 5 cafeterias, we just want to be treated with respect. Good people are suffering in HP and everyone looks the other way for the sake of the mighty dollar. (“I can only do what they allow me to”) I wish that the investors would stand up and see that you Mark, are eroding the strength of HP by doing this type of cost reduction. Life is too short to step all over the people that make the engine run on a vehicle that you want to drive. If you really do want the industry’s best talent, wake up and stop pushing us out the door. Bill and Dave would be proud!
I stopped dealing with Hewlett Packard company many years ago. Their products were mediocre and service is very shady. After many bad experiences, i decided it was time to just stay away and try alternative.
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Air Force Ones, Jordans / Jordan Shoes, Jordan Release Dates and Nike SB Shoes.
All of this simply reinforces my opinion that HP products are total crap. I have never owned any HP product that wasn’t a royal PITA. Their tech support is no better than their products. I’ll never own anything by HP again.