Gary Forsee, Sprint CEO, Is A Poopy Pants, A Bad Dancer, And He Reads The Consumerist All The Time

According to intel we received from a well-placed source inside Sprint/Nextel, every article we write that has Sprint’s name on it gets put on the desk of Gary Forsee, CEO of Sprint. Our source, whom we’ll refer to as “Philip” so as not to endanger his job says,

He doesn’t pretend to read them all but he does read some of them in staff, especially when we look especially bad. That makes my day.

We had a very interesting conversation with Philip that we’ll be parceling out pieces of in discrete posts. For now, everyone wave hello to Gary!

The ghosts are gate-crashing the consumer party… spooky!

— BEN POPKEN

Comments

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  1. Kornkob says:

    *waves*

    *drops trou*

    *waves*

  2. acambras says:

    Dear Mr. Popken and Gawker:

    It has come to our attention that you have referred to Mr. Gary Forsee as a “bad dancer” and a “poopy pants.” We consider such accusations to be libelous, slanderous, and just meanypants. Let me be the first to assure you that not only is Mr. Forsee an accomplished dancer, but he has no documented bowel control issues.

    Forthwith, please cease and desist from calling Mr. Forsee a “bad dancer” or a “poopy pants.”

    Regards,

    John Smith, Attorney
    Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, LLC

    cc: legal@verizon.com, legal@weddingdepot.com

  3. TPIRman says:

    Dear Mr. Smith,

    Yes, but have you received over 81 death threats?

  4. Kornkob says:

    Did anyone forward that email to legal@lycos.com? Mike and his deputy counsel might want to hook up with sprint on a little class-action against Consumerist.

  5. mike1731 says:

    Maybe I’m just overly sensitive, but maybe (??) his interest in articles about Sprint is driven by a desire to understand why Sprint’s market share is collapsing relative to other mobile providers, why many subscribers of Nextel are jumping ship, etc. Discussing his underware-fillage and dance skills would tend to degrade what could be a useful dialogue with a senior staff at a major cellular provider. Maybe even they might take the complaints seriously and do something about their poor customer service at company owned service locations, gaps in coverage, etc.

    Just a thought. I’d hate for them to think we’re all just a bunch of whiners…

  6. Darren W. says:

    Well Gary, since we seem to have your attention, I’d like to bring up one small issue I have with Sprint corporate policy.

    As I have been informed by several Sprint phone reps, I am not able to UPUPGRADE my plan without having to restart the two year contract. Don’t you find it more than a little silly that your company would penalize it’s customers for trying to upgrade their subscription to your product, and ultimately agree to give you MORE money for the duration of said contract?

    If you like, you’re more than welcome to contact me at SPRINT (at) PCLIBERTY (dot) COM

    Have a lovely day.

  7. Darren W. says:

    For the record, I’m aware of the fact that there is only one UP in UPGRADE. (Why does that sound like some kind of sales slogan?)

  8. MBM says:

    discreet = secret
    discrete = separate
    [/spelling police]

  9. Secret IM log transcript from the executive desk at sprint:

    Pip: Is that the consumerist.com you’re reading?
    XGaryXForsee: Uh huh… With the consumerist’s articles no one can tell me what to do. I can comment about Sprint when and how I want. It’s my little way of sticking it to The Man.
    Pip: But… you.. are The Man?
    XGaryXForseeX: I know.
    Pip: So you’re sticking it to yourself?
    XGaryXForseeX: …………. maybe.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO1HZkeAqzE

  10. AcilletaM says:

    Maybe he is a bad dancer because of the poopy pants. If that’s true, it’s a little unfair.

  11. pestie says:

    I think this is the perfect place for me to point out that, while it’s true that I’m quite happy with Sprint from a technical perspective (coverage, lack of dropped calls, etc.), their customer service seems to consist of 80% partial/fractional morons, 15% complete morons, and 5% marginally capable human beings. If the company I worked for wasn’t footing the bill, I don’t think I’d even have cell phone service.

  12. kenposan says:

    I have always received great CS from Verizon. I always deal with my local store and the reps have always been really cool.

    Oh, wait, this is a thread about Sprint. Damn. Uh, Sprint’s cool. Yeah. Sure. That’s the word on the street. Ooh, shiny object….

  13. Starfury says:

    I have Verizon too. Never had any sort of billing issues and when our contract was up we were able to upgrade our phones onlinefor free and just pay sales tax. Even though we didn’t buy our new phones at the store they transferred our phonebooks for free.

  14. starrion says:

    Dear Mr CEO

    I enjoy working with your professional staff as a support person. I work with them quite frequently as a system support person for the products that we supply to Sprint.

    I wish Sprint’s support were as helpful, trained or merely professional when working on the service that Sprint used to supply to me. When I had a phone stolen I called Sprint and asked if I could extend my contact in exchange for a new phone. The person merely created a new line. This meant twice the expenses. Repeated attempts to get the phone to work on my number merely muddied the waters further. It ultimately required spending three hours in a store untangling it.
    When I next had the opportunity I moved to Verizon. After 7 1/2 years as a Sprint customer I like verizon’s service much better.

  15. Jesus On A Pogo Stick says:

    Blah… hate Sprint. I had a 2 year contract. It was actually a pretty good plan and I had signed up for their “internet” package because my phone only accessed text messages through the “internet.” So, a month goes by and I recieve my first bill. The bill was WAY over $100 bill I was quoted and that was also printed on my contract. So I call the oh so wonderful customer services (They all deserve raises for their excellent service. ~sarcasm) to inquire as to how my bill could be so high. I was being charged for the use of the internet, even though I had signed up for that service. I told the CSR this and she told me that she would add the plan but that she couldn’t remove the previous charges. I even went down to the same Sprint location where I signed up to work this out and was told the same thing. I cancled right on the spot. I am not willing to give money to a company full of idiots.