Cat On A Walmart Nazi T-Shirt: A Caption Contest

Here at Consumerist we’ve worked really hard to try to motivate Walmart to follow through on their promise to pull the Nazi paraphernalia from their store shelves. So far, we’ve failed. In honor of our failure, we’d like to announce the “Cat On A Walmart Nazi T-Shirt Contest.”

Official Rules:

Caption this picture of a cat on a Walmart Nazi T-shirt by leaving a comment on this post. If you’d like to create an image, use free image hosting and paste a link to the image in the comments of this post. The comments do not support the display of images. Post a link.

The author of the best caption will receive a $25 Target gift card.

Judging will be based solely on our own opinions with no regard to quality or good taste.

Thanks to Brian for supplying this image of his cat on his Walmart Nazi T-Shirt.

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Dilbitz says:

    I’m in yur clozet sexin yur nazis

  2. “Die Katzen”

  3. magellan says:

    That was weird to see my cat on the Consumerist. Long live Cosmo!!!

  4. Negative says:

    Veee have vays of making you talk… Meow Kampf!!!

  5. squidhat says:

    “I can’t wait to show Meowssolini my new brown shirt!”

  6. “I’m on UR shirt, hatin’ UR Jews.”

  7. buckaroobanzai says:

    “There’s some kind of gas coming from this shirt, making meee sleeeepppyyyy…”

  8. TPIRman says:

    Ridin’ the sleepy train to ME-AUschwitz!

  9. kodec says:

    Vulcan Cat mind-melds with the Totenkopf. “…Heil Edelman…”

  10. AcilletaM says:

    “I was never a member of the Nazi Party! I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war! I didn’t even know there was a war on. We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling… yoodle le he hoo”

    Great movie…

  11. Echodork says:

    Even Chairman Meow is tired of hearing about the Nazi shirt.

  12. phrygian says:

    “When I work up my next hairball, I have the perfect shirt to vomit on.”

  13. AlexG says:

    My owner went to Wal-Mart and all I got was this lousy Nazi T-shirt. Seriously, would it have killed him to pick up Japanese porn, a busted XBox 360, or a Zune loaded up with gay porn while he was there?

  14. healthdog says:

    Not content to merely fondle a Nazi t-shirt, Rosie O’Donnell’s kitty Ching-Chong gives her fiercest race-baiting pose for the camera.

  15. I’m going to pee on your shirt and there’s nothing you can do about it.

  16. Mike_ says:

    “When reached for comment, Baxter Fluffington, Executive Vice President for Inventory Management, said he intended to distribute a memo about the shirts, but was distracted by something shiny, and then dozed off for the rest of the afternoon.”

  17. thereviewer says:

    Here we see demonstration cat show us how wal-mart has handled the nazi shirt issue.

  18. bookcat says:

    try as I might, I just can’t reach that Maus-by-Art-Spiegelman joke that we all know is there.

  19. crayonshinobi says:

    I can’t see the picture… ;_;

  20. Stepehn Colbert says:

    “OH- Fick! Du scheißt’ mich an!”

    “Oh fuck! you gotta be shittin me!”

  21. GenXCub says:

    Now you know why cats don’t like taking showers.

  22. Quazie says:

    WALLMART – Upsetting kittens since Nov 10 2006

  23. kerry says:

    crayonshinobi said:

    I can’t see the picture… ;_;

    Neither can I. What gives?

  24. nimiety says:

    Heil der Furrier!

  25. TPIRman says:

    I don’t know where the photo went, but I put a copy up on Flickr until our feline Fuehrer graces this page again. Remember to put your caption here and not on the Flickr page.

  26. Mein kampf? Mein ka-YOOT!

  27. Morgan says:

    Wallmart: loves cats, hates Jews


    Alternately:
    What Nazi T-Shirt? LOOK AT THE PRETTY KITTY!

  28. magellan says:

    Feline Fueher. That’s good stuff! I now have a new nickname for him. Thanks Johnny

  29. gustopher says:

    “This will at least get me honorable mention on catsthatlooklikehitler.com!”

  30. rubberpants says:

    Meow Hitler!

  31. rubberpants says:

    Nine!

  32. not_seth_brundle says:

    I’d rip this hateful Wal-Mart Nazi t-shirt to shreds… if only I still had my claws.

  33. shoegazer says:

    Every time you masturbate… A kitten buys a Nazi T Shirt.

  34. adamondi says:

    “Ich bin eine Todeskatze!”

    Translation: “I am a death cat!”

    Alternate entry:

    “I’M IN UR TOTENKOPF,
    EATIN’ UR JEWS”

  35. snazz says:

    “this cat has nothing to do with this image”

  36. xyberspam says:

    Silly humans, Hitler was a madman and a fool. Soon the true master race will rise from the secure comforts of your house and we will rule the world! Sieg Kitty!

  37. Marcus-T says:

    “I don’t look like a Kitler, so I’ll just dress like them instead.”

    “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

    No rules against multiple entries, right?

  38. brilliantmistake says:

    “totencat”
    “the feline solution”

  39. Smashville says:

    No one ever questioned that the Nazis were pussies.

  40. FLConsumer says:

    You’ve got it all wrong… it was supposed to be blonde-haired cats with blue eyes.

  41. im on yur shelvez, eatin yur profitz

    im in yur wardrobez, eatin yur shirtz

    couldnt think of any nazi tie-ins that havent already been covered

  42. flyover says:

    Nazi Pussy

  43. taylorich says:

    Nein Lives!

    Gimme my gift card!!!!

  44. taylorich says:

    …or “This thing has nein lives!”

  45. robotzorro says:

    Cat: $40 at pet shelter

    Nazi T-shirt: $18 at Wal-Mart

    Trivializing the deaths of 6 million jews: Priceless

  46. taylorich says:

    …or “Which of these things has nein lives?”

  47. Jesse in Japan says:

    “This Nazi shirt looks so much better with the tag still on it, don’t you think?”

    Alternate: “I don’t care what’s printed on it, it’s a nice, high-quality shirt and oh so cheap!”

  48. Stepehn Colbert says:

    “Mein eyes!!” alternatively, “OH- Fick! Mein eyes!”

  49. kim says:

    Oy, oy, oy oy oy. Gvalt.

  50. medalian1 says:

    Nazi T-shirt = More Pussy

  51. pego says:

    Walmart faces another volley of criticism when a shocking photo reveals they do indeed test products on animals.

  52. Smashville says:

    And so Anne Frank’s family was hauled away…never knowing that it was the cat that ratted them out to the SS…

  53. Mike_ says:

    Stop riffing on nazis and the holocaust. You’re not funny. Indeed, threads like this undermine the moral high ground from which we decry Wal-Mart for having these shirts on their shelves. There’s plenty to draw humor from here. If your mind goes straight to genocide, please keep it to yourself.

    Also, 2006 called. They want their “I’M IN UR” comments back.

  54. ckilgore says:

    Happiness is a warm nazi.

  55. RulesLawyer says:

    “There’s plenty to draw humor from here. If your mind goes straight to genocide, please keep it to yourself.”

    Yeah, ’cause when I think “Nazi”, genocide doesn’t even occur to me.

  56. Mike_ says:

    Funny: Wal-Mart not being able to un-stock a T-Shirt.
    Funny: Cats.

    Not Funny: The shirt itself, Nazis, the Holocaust or Hitler.

    We all feign outrage over Wal-Mart selling Nazi paraphernalia, yet here we are with a thread full of light-hearted jokes drawn from one of the darkest chapters in human history.

    Re-read these comments imagining you’re looking at a leaked e-mail exchange between Wal-Mart executives. It would look pretty bad, wouldn’t it? So why is it okay for us to think this stuff is at all amusing?

  57. Mike_ says:

    (I should add that while I stand behind the sentiment in my statements, I’m mostly just trying to influence the judging. Once you disqualify all the people making jokes about Nazis, the field is narrowed significantly. And if my caption is selected, I’d like my prize (preferably cash, not gift card) donated to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Wal-Mart’s name.)

  58. adamondi says:

    Mike_ Said:

    Stop riffing on nazis and the holocaust. You’re not funny. Indeed, threads like this undermine the moral high ground from which we decry Wal-Mart for having these shirts on their shelves. There’s plenty to draw humor from here. If your mind goes straight to genocide, please keep it to yourself.

    Also, 2006 called. They want their “I’M IN UR” comments back.

    The forest called. They want that stick up your butt back.

    May I refer to this specific line in the original post:

    Judging will be based solely on our own opinions with no regard to quality or good taste.

    Obviously, Nazi jokes are in bad taste. However, that only means that they are funny in a twisted way. After all, Tragedy + Time = Comedy. Threads like this show that reasonable people can have a sense of humor about things that are painful. If all we ever did was feel pain and not laugh about it later, then we would ALL want to kill ourselves.

  59. Stepehn Colbert says:

    well guess what “Mike_”? that isn’t in the rules at the top of the page. So, to quote Adam Sandler “YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY WORD I HAVE TO SAY!!”.

  60. brilliantmistake says:

    Mike_, people don’t think the holocaust is funny, trust me. It’s pretty tedious and pedantic of you to point it out. Kind of like assuming we don’t know that the sky is blue. No one is making jokes because they think the holocaust is funny, just like if someone jokes that whenever someone buys a walmart nazi T-shirt, god kills a puppy, they are not finding humor in either the holocaust, god, or puppy killing. Do you think Mel Brooks thought the holocaust was funny when he wrote “The Producers?”

    Of course, you can always have offensive jokes. But humor and satire are also a devastating weapons, especially when they point out the absurdity of a symbol of evil being marketed to unwitting consumers across the country.

  61. Touche morecoffee. I couldnt have said it better.

  62. Mike_ says:

    I’m just saying it would be hypocritical to ride Wal-Mart about these T-Shirts, and then turn around and hand out prizes for ill-conceived comical references to the atrocities that make these shirts so offensive. Wal-Mart’s gaffe was unintentional. I think it would be a mistake to knowingly endorse the spirit of many of these submissions.

    Statements like “Ridin’ the sleepy train to ME-AUschwitz!” are not comparable to The Producers. Brooks (a Jewish American) uses Nazis as an intentionally offensive topic for a play, and then subjects them to ridicule as the basis for the protagonists’ success. It’s brilliant satire, executed with adequate sensitivity to the subject.

    I’m a big fan of offensive jokes. Sarah Silverman is, in my opinion, one of the funniest people alive. But there’s a difference between being offensive and funny, and being offensive while trying to be funny. It’s a thin line to walk, and very few people can pull it off. If you try and fail, you’re not just a bad comic. You’re an asshole.

    I don’t see anything here that rises to the level of satire as a weapon. I see a bunch of juvenile one-liners from people who really aren’t as funny as they think they are (sorry, folks). We can do better than that. Or, if we can’t, we probably shouldn’t even try.

  63. spanishmack says:

    “Totenkompfy!”

  64. Morgan says:

    “Do you expect me to shut up about the Nazi shirt?” “No, Mr. Consumer, I expect you to BUY!”

  65. AcilletaM says:

    So, who won?

  66. adamondi says:

    If only we could all be as funny as Mike_ with his “Baxter Fluffington” line. If only we had such a marvelous grasp of satire as he does. But alas, we are all just offensive, even though he is the only person to post a comment objecting to the many and varied “offensive jokes” that have been posted in this caption contest.

    Hmm…. When you are the only person offended by something by which lots of other people are amused, maybe you should quit digging yourself a hole by calling everyone else assholes who are being “offensive while trying to be funny.”

  67. Chairman-Meow says:

    I shilled for Edelman and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

  68. squidhat says:

    Mike_: Not Funny: The shirt itself, Nazis, the Holocaust or Hitler.

    I am going back in time to tell Mel Brooks and Charlie Chaplin to halt production immediately.

  69. squidhat says:

    Someone had already pointed to Mel Brooks, and that sucks..
    So let me submit an alternate to my original, tailored for Mike_:

    “Zee Goggles, Zey do Nossing!”

  70. Mike_ says:

    adamondi, I never claimed to be a humorist.

    Am I really the only one who recognizes the dissonance here? When Wal-Mart inadvertently stocks a t-shirt featuring an obscure Nazi emblem, we rake them over the coals for weeks. But when The Consumerist posts this caption contest, we get page after page of “LOLZ! HITLER KILLED TEH JEWS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT!”, and no one seems to see a problem.

    Seriously, if this is how you guys feel, you’ve got no business berating Wal-Mart over their lingering t-shirt inventory. It doesn’t make sense. You can’t flip out about a t-shirt, and then go crack Nazi jokes in the next thread. Either you’re outraged, or you’re not. And if this thread is any indication, really, you’re not.

    Am I alone here?

  71. Steve_Holt says:


    “I’ve seen this T-shirt on consumerist.com so many times I can’t even bear to look at it any more! -meow.”

    Did I miss the deadline?

    And when did Nazis and the Holocaust become such a touchy issue?

  72. brilliantmistake says:

    Mike_, I’m trying to understand exactly what you’re objecting to. At first it seemed to be having the holocaust and humor connected in any way. But you said, no, you think that can be OK, even good, e.g. Sarah Silverman’s work. Since our intent here is satirical, I don’t see a conflict, anymore than if Sarah Silverman objected to say, some company profiting from selling racist t-shirts, even though she jokes about race in her act (and, yeah, I have her album).

    So your other objection seems to be that we’re not talented enough to use satire as a weapon. Fair enough, we’re only idiot commenters, not pros, so we’re not necessarily rising to the level of good satire. But it doesn’t make us hypocritical or anti-semitic.

  73. spanishmack says:

    I think it’s more of an issue to poke at the complete ineptitude of a major retailer (especially Wal-Mart since we all like to poke at them), to simply remove one item from store shelves. Is it really that hard?

  74. Mike_ says:

    morecoffee,

    Sarah Silverman says some pretty vile things. Outside of the context of her act, and absent her expert delivery, there’s nothing funny about much of what she says. When she puts it all together, the end result is brilliant. (She’s skilfully satirizing racism.)

    That’s not what’s happening here. These one-liners either fail to in any way acknowledge that the subject is troublesome, or they attempt to draw wit from simply being patently offensive. I’m having a hard time seeing any humor in it at all. I do enjoy the irony of 3 months of shaming Wal-Mart over Nazi T-Shirts followed by an entire thread devoted to light-hearted wise-cracking about the same subject.

    I’ll be disappointed if the editors ignore the contradiction when they render a verdict. But I can also see that I’m pretty much alone here. I’m starting to find the discussion tiresome, so I hope I’ve made my point.

    Ben, please donate the prize to charity.

  75. He says:

    “Stop selling this shirt or we’ll put this cat in an oven.”

  76. Stepehn Colbert says:

    Headline: Cat Takes Great Offense to Walmart Nazi Insignia (Note: The cat is Jewish)