Don’t know what the hell to get someone? Consumer Reports has a list of the “best buy” gifts of 2006. So, even Mom hates it, it sure as shit won’t break. She’ll have that thing for life. Thanks, Consumer Reports? —MEGHANN MARCO
Best Gifts of 2006 [Consumer Reports]






I wonder what Christmas morning is like in the homes of the Consumer Reports editors. For their kids’ sake, I hope it’s somewhat less joyless and spartan than that gift guide.
A $70 string trimmer?? Ok, I admit to having no clue about tools, but I”m picturing a fancy gizmo that cuts off stray bits of string that hang from your clothes, towels, etc. Please tell me I’m wrong.
String Trimmer = Fancy nomenclature for “Weed Whacker”
…even Mom hates it
I think she meant, “even if Mom hates it.”
And hey, what’s joyless and spartan about wine, anyway?
That list is mad boring, yo.
I think she meant, “Even if Mom hates it.”
Maybe not. If I was Mom and I got the Kenmore Progressive vacuum cleaner as a Christmas/Channukah/Kwaanza gift, I would be feeling the hate on that blessed package-opening morn. No “if’s” about it.
If I were Dad, however, I may very well be feeling the vacuum cleaner, and feeling it real long-time. That sucker is hot.