10 Worst Toys of 2006

The W.A.T.C.H. List of the 10 worst toys of 2006 is out! This list claims to feature toys that have the potential to “cause childhood injuries, or even death.” What evil toys made the list this year? The insanely popular skate shoe “Heelys” come with the following warning, “There is no way to heel and/or grind without running the risk of SERIOUS BODILY HARM, including head injury, spinal injury, or even death” Death! Jeepers.

Also included is the Fisher Price “Lil Snoopy”, A Superman Lamp, and Fear Factor Candy Challenge (Yes, a candy eating contest for children. Best idea ever.) Check out the rest of the terrifying list!—MEGHANN MARCO

W.A.T.C.H. Worst Toys of 2006 [W.A.T.C.H. via BoingBoing]

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  1. Falconfire says:

    You know Ice skates can cut a kids arm off (they can, happened at my college skating ring by the kids father no less) but are YOU going to be the dad who tells their kid they cant have ice skates cause their dangerous?

    I mean EVERYTHING IS DANGEROUS. Its kinda like everything can give you cancer. Hell just playing around with out toys is dangerous (remind me to tell you the story of me and my buddy exploring a junkyard without noticing the big doghouse)

    Supervise your fucking kid, stop using Nana TV and Grandpa Toy while your off doing god knows what. My dad used to build models in the room with me while I played. I still got to play, but HE still got to do his hobby AND supervise me without getting wrapped up in what he was doing. I think its part of the reason I like building models myself.

  2. WindowSeat says:

    Oh no, a bow and arrow set can be dangerous! Any kid with half a brain and ten minutes can make a decent bow. I swear, these people won’t be happy until everyone is legally bound to cover their yards in two feet of foam padding.

  3. WindowSeat says:

    And for the record, every kid I’ve seen wearing those Heelys things is having a blast.

  4. Pelagius says:

    W.A.T.C.H. = Wankers Aspiring To Crush Happiness

  5. ElizabethD says:

    How did we all survive our perilous childhoods with all those murderous toys we owned? Not to mention (now I’ll date myself) riding in mom and dad’s cars without seatbelts — in the front seat! Oh noooooooo.

    Sarcasm aside, I think most toys today — except for new iterations of tried-and-true classic toys that don’t have batteries, weird sounds, or involve shooting at a moving target — are crap.

  6. Falconfire says:

    Shit do these guys know some of us used to play Mumbly Peg when we where kids…. I mean jesus thats a game where your throw knives and ate dirt if you sucked… and they think eating CANDY is dangerous?

  7. Sudonum says:

    I’m with ElizabethD, I started looking at the list and quit when I got to the bow and arrow. I remember that toy very fondly. I also remember owning a real archery set when I was around 8 or 9 years old. I was taught by my father how to use it properly. And once I learned I was allowed to practice by myself.

    You can’t legislate parenting skills. Kids need supervision and education. I have a 3 year old step-grandchild and I’m the only one who seems to be able to discipline him (time outs). I am also the only one he listens to. When I say “no” he knows I mean it. My in-laws (his paternal great-grandparents) bitch and moan that he’s only 3. My comment to them is if you don’t teach him now, then when are you going to start?

  8. DeeJayQueue says:

    Nerf the world!

  9. Joe Hass says:

    A (blisteringly strong) word against Heelys: The reason those damn things ought to be banned isn’t that the kid could crack his or her head open. It’s the woman the nine-year-old plows into because he’s not paying attention, or the display he crashed into and destroyed because he lost control. I’ve watched kids wearing them in narrow spaces and nearly take out people standing nearby. When I see a child riding them in tight spaces, I tell them to knock it off, and they do.

    I can tell you that the Restoration Hardware in Troy, Michigan, goes so far as to ban them from the store and throws kids out who roll on the heel in the store.

  10. alohanico says:

    It’s really not the Heelys we should be afraid of, but the angry Heelys moms.

    I’m sad to say that I work in a store that sells Heelys and I’d say I’m berated on almost a daily basis because of something that is either beyond my control (we’re out of their kids size/the Heelys they bought are too small) or not my fault (they let their kids Heely through snow/rain and after a year of abuse, they wheels aren’t working properly)

    Yeah Heelys are potentially dangerous, but what isn’t.

    I personally hate Heelys, and would never buy them but that’s just me.

  11. Are they insane?

    Reading the reviews, it sounds like they are berating the manufacturers for either daring to include reasonable warnings with their products or for failing to include ridiculous ones:

    PYRAMID STACKER: A toddler who falls on the inflexible toy could suffer severe impact injuries. The manufacturer fails to provide any warnings despite marketing the toy for toddlers as young as “12 months”.

    If a toddler falls on something hard, they could hurt themselves? WOW! Can’t expect the parents to figure THAT out! They also warn for puncture injures even though the dowel is too wide and blunt for that to happen unless someone drops the baby on it from a high height.

  12. jorywoah says:

    At least most of them are better than what passes by Peter Griffin at the Happy Go Lucky Toy Company….sheesh, I’m surprised WATCH hasn’t included trees, jungle gyms, bicycles, and “other children”.

  13. acambras says:

    Next thing you know, they’re going to issue a stern warning about gravity.

    Interesting about the Heelys — there was a news story last night from a Hartford tv station about how some local merchants are putting signs on their doors banning Heelys from the store for “safety” (and likely, liability) reasons.

  14. aka Cat says:

    Rectilinear – I think the puncture warning is for the blocks. There are some rather acute angles at the base of each piece. Some 9mo is going to be waving one of those around and put hir 2yo sibling’s eye out.

    That toy and the ‘pram decoration’ are a bit questionable, unless someone’s going to be keeping a close eye on the kid.

    And if Supes really has to be unplugged for safety reasons, that sucked needs to go in the trash.

  15. Mr. Gunn says:

    What, no Oozinator?

  16. etinterrapax says:

    I almost always find these lists to be crap and wonder how anyone my age or older survived childhood. I don’t think my grandfather’s car even had seatbelts. I don’t consciously buy anything that I think will be unsafe for my son, but I don’t want to dress him in bubble wrap, either. I think a lot of people are teaching their kids that the new fun = sitting around being worried that something might happen.

  17. formergr says:

    And the Heely’s issues written about by WATCH and some other posters here all come back again to responsible parenting. Tell the kids they cannot under any circumstances wear them into stores. And if you find out from a neighbor, friend, etc that they have, take them away. Stuff like that is a privilege, and its very easy to teach kids discipline by taking away privileges when they misbehave.

  18. Triteon says:

    All my toys were made out of sharp metal. Sharp, rusty metal once I (inevitably) left them out in the rain.

    I can tell you that the Restoration Hardware in ….
    What, no skull candles on the list?

    Next thing you know, they’re going to issue a stern warning about gravity.
    acambras, FTW!

  19. “Next thing you know, they’re going to issue a stern warning about gravity.”

    I think acambras won the thread.

    I went through the entire site looking for a toy they liked. They object to everything with wheels, everything that bounces, everything that even vaguely relates to water, including squirt guns and BUCKETS …

    It’s lawyers run amuck.

  20. acambras says:

    Ooh, ooh!!! I usually never win ANYTHING! ;-)

  21. Jesse in Japan says:

    But where’s the Oozinator? It creates a serious risk of your children getting addicted to bukkake porn.

  22. LeopardSeal says:

    I have to heartily agree with the above posts, especially Falconfire’s. Anything and everything can be dangerous, but it comes down to any reasonable parent 1) educating and 2) supervising their offspring.

    Though this topic brings up an interesting question: Are all these warnings in place because the children are less intelligent, or the parents?

  23. juri squared says:

    The problem with Heelys is that parents don’t think of them as roller skates (which they pretty much are) and therefore don’t teach their kids how to be safe on them. There’s been instances of kids getting hit by cars after accidentally rolling into traffic, and stuff like that.

    That being said, the far larger problem with them is the nuisance factor, like people mention above. I’ve seen a kid use them in the tiny store where I work, narrowly avoiding a bunch of displays full of boxes. Great job, kid. Parents need to have the sense to take these things away from their kids if they can’t use them responsibly.

  24. madderhatter says:

    Everybody get your kid a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. Or maybe one of those big friggin’ metal Tonka Dump Trucks like we used to sit it and ride down hills at break-neck speeds. What about a slingshot, one of those cool chemistry sets, or Rock’em Sock’em Robots to teach them how to beat the crap out of other kids. Ahh, the good ‘ol days.