Cleveland Airport Confiscates Passenger’s ‘Dangerous Liquid’ Pies

A Cleveland airport considers pie filling a dangerous liquid, while at JFK the pie loses its incendiary properties. TSA employees seized at least a dozen of the baked goods from travelers.

Cleveland’s Hopkin International Airport considers pie filling a dangerous gel/liquid and TSA employees seized at least a dozen of the baked goods last week before Thanksgiving.

The pies were donated to the airport’s USO lounge, which caters to traveling soldiers.

Security analysts frequently criticize the TSA’s for a lack of imagination in dealing with terrorism. It’s nice to see them take so seriously a pie in the sky threat. — BEN POPKEN

Pie a threat to security after all [The Plain Dealer via Upgrade Travel]

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  1. Amy Alkon says:

    So, they truly fear the pies are “incendiary,” yet they feed them to soldiers?

  2. TPIRman says:

    I try not to complain about the spelling because I know it’s an honest mistake, but come on, the correct spelling of “Cleveland” is offered up at least half a dozen times in the linked story. I’ll just assume Ben is still working off his tryptophan hangover.

  3. Amendment V to the U.S. Constitution says, “nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation”…. it seems to be that by using those confiscated pies (as opposed to simply destroying them), the owners of the pie are entitled to Fair Market Value just as they would be any other piece of property taken by the government.

  4. [sorry if this double-posts, it doesn’t appear to have worked the first time]

    It would seem to me that since the government engaged in a “public use” of the taken property (they gave them away for others’ consumption) that eminent domain laws should come into effect and those passengers are entitled to fair market value of their taken property.

    Who wants to be a test-case? :-)

  5. Brian Gee says:

    Interesting….

    I have a flight in a couple of hours. Do I negotiate a price with the TSA, with the threat of dumping it out of the tin?

    Is there something one could safely “spike” a pie with, such that someone who eats it will have some sort of non-harmful reaction? Methyline Blue (some sort of marker that turns your pee greenish-blue) comes to mind, but I don’t know where to get it, or if it can be baked into a pie while retaining its effectiveness.

    These “safety” regulations are so absurd.

    Seriously… Is the TSA stealing pies, or are they trying to kill our soldiers?

  6. Ben Popken says:

    Where is Cleveland misspelled?

  7. nikoniko says:

    He probably meant to comment that you typed Hopkin rather than Hopkins.

  8. timmus says:

    Our great-grandchildren will either:

    1) Laugh at our unbelievable culture of fear, or

    2) Huddle in their closets all of their lives, except to get supplies every week from the curbside Evian water truck and McDonalds meals on wheels (foodstuffs sealed in triple polypropylene blister packaging, of course). They’ll have TVs in their closets so they can follow the latest local news updates of homicides and missing white women.

    So far I haven’t figured out which.

  9. ColoradoShark says:

    Taking pies away of unknown origin and giving them to people to eat. Wow! We need a new word for stupid. At our kid’s various sports games we are not allowed to sell home made anything. We have to buy pre-packaged items and re-sell them.

    My father once dealt with a bully who would steal his candy by buying chocolate Ex-Lax, scraping the Ex-Lax imprint off and pretending to eat them. The bully took the ‘candy’ and gulped them down. My father never knew what happened in the end (Nyuk, nyuk!) but it gave him great pleasure to think about it. Someone is going to do something like this. Quick, think of that word that is ‘beyond stupid’.

  10. oudemia says:

    The USO lounge is on the other — as in airplane — side of the security checkpoint, too. So not only are they taking the “incendiary” pies and feeding them to soldiers, they are taking through security to do it.

    A couple of weeks after 9/11 I had a National Guardsmen tell me he had to confiscate the bag of Twizzlers I had in my bag under the “2001 Twizzler Protection Act.”

  11. bones says:

    The idea behind confiscation is there might be a chemical in the pie filling that could be mixed with other chemicals to produce an explosion. So the TSA is feeding dangerous chemicals poisoning our soldiers and sailors, now that’s national security.

  12. TheMadCow says:

    Of course, what’s truly amazing about post 911 is the amount of people bemoan the lost rights and liberty, but refuse to anything more than tap out “me too” comments about stories. Our Government truly has a green light to pretty much do what it wants, it’s not like the people are actually going to do something.

  13. karimagon says:

    “Is there something one could safely “spike” a pie with, such that someone who eats it will have some sort of non-harmful reaction?”

    Well, you could always try laxatives. Maybe if enough people tried it it would get the message across. ;)

  14. logie-al says:

    You’re *munch munch* gonna have to leave that here… it’s *munch* uh, *munch* a hazardous item that we need to *munch* inspect further.

  15. schvitzatura says:

    That’s exploding dutch apple crumb pie for your enemies. Great idea, isn’t it. Not ready yet, though, still too weak.

    Needs more gelignite.

  16. phrygian says:

    I guess the Sierra Mist commercials set the “precedent” that allows TSA employees to confiscate pies?

    I’d be more likely to make myself sick by eating the entire pie myself than allow the TSA take it (and then give it to someone else to eat). They knew the pies aren’t an issue, otherwise they wouldn’t have allowed other people to consume them. After all, they don’t give confiscated shampoo/cologne/mouthwash to non-travellers.

  17. acambras says:

    Yeah, phrygian, but I did see a story on the news last night about how a lot of confiscated items wind up in a warehouses where government agencies can “shop” for items. The story showed guns, knives, and lots of S&M gear. So now the agencies have a place to go for their whips, chains, and leather.

    Makes pie look pretty tame.

  18. Trai_Dep says:

    Okay. Ben deserves a free Xbox 360 for working “pie in the sky” into the story. Masterful!

  19. methane says:

    I kinda understand confiscating whips and chains (though, why not just check those things) but leather? And, in that vein, unless it’s your particular kink, would you want to use someone else’s used S&M gear?

  20. beeb says:

    Pies were verboten at JFK too. As with anything else the TSA considers contraband, the way to get it on board was to simply place it in your carry on luggage. Looking forward to the egg nog ban!

  21. twigg says:

    I don’t think we should be serving our soldiers exploding pies. Travesty and treason!

  22. Viviane says:

    Kip Hawley is an idiot.