Big Titty Mannequins

Mannequins are disturbing enough, but do we really need to give them size D breasts?

Spotted ‘em in the window of a Manhattan t-shirt shop last night. It was cold. — BEN POPKEN

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  1. acambras says:

    I was in Macy’s a few weeks ago and all the mannequins seemed to be sporting perky stiff nipples. WTF?

    It WAS pretty cold in there, though.

  2. I thought the Amazons cut off their right breasts so they could use their bows better?

  3. Anonymously says:

    The one in the middle has some real torpedoes. I don’t know why they always have erect nipples though.

  4. mark duffy says:

    They’re fake.

  5. JB Segal says:

    So you’d prefer if all mannequins in the world looked like Kate Moss (or name the waif of the day if Kate’s too retro for you)?

    It’s bad enough that most designers want to pretend breasts don’t exists, now we’ve got you shilling for that position, too?

  6. janine says:

    Uptown in Harlem and Washington Heights, the mannequins have big J-Lo asses.

  7. ikes says:

    consumerist: shilling for small breasts since 2006.

  8. Chaoticfluffy says:

    Yes, I regret to inform you that there really *are* women like the mannequin on the left, with big breasts and a dress size larger than two. I know this distresses a large part of the male population, but you really must accept that boobs are not there to hurt you or intimidate you.

    But the torpedoes are still kind of frightening.

  9. Josh Smith says:

    And this is related the the consumerist how?

  10. Ben Popken says:

    Mannequins sell things in stores.

  11. kerry says:

    The mannequins at American Apparel and the fancy-pants flagship Ralph Lauren store here in Chicago have these insanely pert nipples, I almost lost an eye at RL once when I turned a corner too quickly. At least the giganto-boobs are funny. The huge, perky, rock-hard nipples are downright creepy.
    A lot of the Latina clothing stores in my old neighborhood had the booty mannequins with small chests, I didn’t think they were all that unusual. What I want to know is how someone expects to sell clothes using mannequins that couldn’t possibly fit correctly into anything actually for sale in the store.

  12. RandomHookup says:

    I’m convinced the one in the middle is a tranny.

  13. Papercutninja says:

    Uhm…which t-shirt shop in NYC? I’d like to check it out at lunch…you know..to investigate…for the good of consumers…everywhere…

  14. Ben Popken says:

    Somewhere along Broadway near Prince. On the east side of the street.

  15. Mary Marsala with Fries says:

    …But give her an inch of belly-fat, and there’d be rioting.

  16. What I want to know is how someone expects to sell clothes using mannequins that couldn’t possibly fit correctly into anything actually for sale in the store.

    It’s just for attention. “Look, boobies!”

    I wanna know why don’t the plus-size stores use the larger mannequins.

  17. kerry says:

    Most of the plus-sized stores I walk past have “larger” mannequins, which really look like normal, non-fat-but-non-skinny adult women. I guess no store wants to put their clothes on the bodies which will wear them.

  18. acambras says:

    I walked by a Motherhood Maternity store where the mannequins were sporting baby bumps, but had no heads. Curious.

  19. AcidReign says:

    …..We found a mannequin once in a dumpster. She was not so well-endowed as the models above, but cute, in a short-haired brunette sort of Vogue way! We took her home named her “Sally,” drilled a hole in the top of her head, and fitted her with a big hook on top of her head. We then ran a clothes-line diagonally across the street. In the summer months, when we were out of school, we were allowed to play outside for a few hours after supper.

    …..Occasionally, we would bring “Sally” out, let her ride on her hook, down the clothes-line, across the street in front of oncoming cars. It was a wonderful game of dodging and tire-screeching! Sometimes, Sally would get clobbered, though, and we’d learn new ways to scream four-letter words from the mean motorists who ran over her! On rare occasions, the car driver would even start looking through the bushes by the road, and we would have to run like hell!

    …..This all ended tragically when one of the motorists who hit Sally decided to scoop her up and toss her in the trunk. We never saw her again.

  20. barneyfyfe says:

    They are not mannequins, they’re fembots. Well armed fembots.

  21. w_boodle says:

    I know this distresses a large part of the male population, but you really must accept that boobs are not there to hurt you or intimidate you.

    Oh thank God! The truth is finally out. Yes, we all live in fear of women’s boobs.

    Well brothers — with that behind us what’say we move on to solving this world peace thingy, eh? But first, a nice glass of warm milk. Ah … that hits the spot.

  22. MrBartokomous says:

    I always thought the point of giving the mannequins nice pointy nipples was to suggest how a given piece of attire would look like if you were caught wearing it on an unusually chilly day.

    Either way, those is some big-ass titties.

  23. Acid Reign, that was simply hilarious. In the immortal words of the Most Lovable, Evil Industry Baroness, Mom, “I tip my bonnet to you.”

  24. Xkeeper says:

    I hope you all realize I nearly died laughing from the comments.

    Seriously, this is Consumerist Hall of Fame™ material.

  25. John Stracke says:

    I, for one, welcome our new large-breasted robot overlords.

  26. Negative says:

    My wife would be happy to see mannequins like that. Do you know how hard it can be to find clothes that fit someone that wears a size 1 and has DD’s?

  27. AcidReign says:

    …..Thanks! “Sally” was hardly the worst of my outdoor antics growing up… And my folks wonder why I’m leery of letting my kids run around unsupervised!

  28. Ran Kailie says:

    I don’t think the big boobs would bother me so much if they weren’t quite so…. gravity defying? I mean seriously why aren’t they wearing bras and how are they managing to get breasts that big to stand that straight.

  29. LLH says:

    i bet the flat chested one on the right was like ‘daaaammmn girls – why’d i get left out? ho’s….’

  30. AcidReign says:

    …..She’s clearly the hottest mannequin in the pic. Reminds me of Jacklyn Smith. Mmmmm.