Random Halloween Shit

• Reader Max says it’s nigh impossible to buy candy corn in Manhattan.
• FTC recall of Flammable ‘Creepy Cape’ Costumes from Family Dollar. You can identify them by their plastic, please burn me look, and a sticker on the collar that says, “FLAME RETARDANT PVC.”
• If you’re stuck in a crush at the Halloween parade, a good way to escape is to elbow your way to the front and scooch under the police barrier. When the cop stops you and says, “Where do you think you’re going?” Exclaim, “We need to get out of here, it’s a medical emergency.” This really happened to us just a few hours ago. And dude in the suit who refused to move his arm, saying, “Hey man, I don’t know you,” nearly preventing our girlfriend from getting through, if we ever see you again, we’re punching your lights out.

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  1. RumorsDaily says:

    Man, I’d do anything for our girlfriend.

  2. timmus says:

    Yeah, I glossed over that, but I think if I saw “our wife” I would have done a double-take.

  3. Paul D says:

    Good thing that 99.5% of the country doesn’t live in Manhattan. More candy corn for us.

  4. Pelagius says:

    No candy corn, no smoking, no trans-fats. NYC is the tamest piece of real estate in America.

    Live dangerously. Move to Arkansas.

  5. jpcooper43 says:

    you can get candy corn in the shitty old people candy aisle right next to Mauna Loa macadamia nuts and those stale circus peanuts. Just go to your local eckerd d, rite aid, or CVS. Don’t sleep until halloween though! Thats like complaining you cant find a decent xmas tree on Christmas Eve.

  6. Triteon says:

    Live dangerously. Move to Arkansas.
    Hey now! I’m from St. Louis, and according to the FBI we are the most dangerous city in America! Nelly’s next album? Straight Outta Soulard

  7. eckerd d, rite aid, or CVS. To my knowledge these don’t exist in Manhattan. I think Duane Reade has the drug store market cornered (pun intended) on the Island.

  8. anjamu says:

    Reader Max should have gone to Duane Reade a few days ago, when bags of Brach’s candy corn were 99 cents and plentiful too.