Crazy Lady Spills Condoms All Over Aiport

Mellisa May attended an AIDS conference and stuffed her luggage to the brim with free condoms. Disaster struck at the airport, as she tells the New York Times.

I needed to change shoes at the airport, and so I grabbed the bag and opened it thoughtlessly.

The prophylactics popped out of my luggage. Dozens of condoms — green, pink, red, white, purple, ultrathin, ribbed and extra-strength — scattered across the terminal floor.

[The passenger next to me] gazed at me with a look of horror until I had picked every errant one off the floor and shoved them into my bags.

Oh, NYT! You’re so mannered!

Moral of the story: pack objects you rather others not see away from objects you need access to.

And You Think That You Worry About Your Bags Spilling Open [NYT]

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  1. spin_sycle says:

    perfect for halloween…..a bunch of halloweeners!

  2. njsykora says:

    “[The passenger next to me] gazed at me with a look of horror until I had picked every errant one off the floor and shoved them into my bags.”

    You’d think they’d never seen a condom before. Probably a catholic. Or a World Of Warcraft player.

  3. Hirayuki says:

    “When I picked up the pin, he returned my awkward smile with the same expression I’d seen at the Allentown airport. It was a look of utter condemnation.”

    She meant condomnation, of course.

  4. Triteon says:

    What’s the point of the post? Was she embarrassed? Did Melissa, an employee of the Population Council, prefer to not have her proclivity for “collecting” condoms publicly known? And if she does, would not the assumption of privacy be released when she wrote of the experience in the goddamn New York Times! Self-aggrandizing BS if you ask me. Melissa, shut the hell up!

  5. LTS! says:

    Oi!
    “I also saved a few for my friends and family members. They make excellent stocking stuffers or tree ornaments, come holiday season.”

    Tree ornaments? WTF? Are condoms the new candy canes? I know they come in peppermint flavor but seriously.

    I think that, as a person, once you have written this story you need to sti down and think, perhaps I have a fascination with condoms that goes far beyond the normal human being.

    And one final packing tip, perhaps, just maybe, you’d want to use a ziplock bag to contain your cornucopia of prophylactics.

    Wait… did she say water balloon fight too? What happend to sex? Isn’t that the preferred spending method?

  6. acambras says:

    Oh, come on, guys! It’s funny! Lighten up!

  7. Pelagius says:

    Spent one Christmas in a barracks near the Korean DMZ. We decorated our contraband pine tree with condoms, beer cans (empty, of course), and dried squid. Quite festive, really.

  8. What’s the point of the post? Was she embarrassed?

    I think it was just supposed to be funny.

    There’s a woman who promotes Sexual Health in one of the Health Centers here and she carries a purse made of condoms (still in the packages but they’re see through). Not really relevant to the story, I just think it’s funny.

  9. latemodel says:

    Why do the giant condom mascots have a buttocks in their mouth?

  10. Tonguetied says:


    Some of the ways people protest the intrusiveness of airport security strike me as rather hazardous and unwise but when I read the headline I thought at first that it was a bit of a protest story – Woman bring bag in filled to the brim with condoms just to cause a bit of a fuss without creating any security situations.

    Reminds me of a story I read a while back about a women having her baggage gone through. The guard pulled out something and asked “What is this?” She responded (rather casually) “My vibrator.”