Huggies Baby Wipes Are The Shit

Every so often, Tom Bartlett writes a letter to a consumer products division. The letters always contain backhanded compliments and odd questions, phrased just so.

The company responds with a page from its laminated manual. Sometimes they even throw in a coupon. Here’s his latest.

    Dear Huggies Baby Wipes,

    First of all, let me say how much I love your baby wipes. They’re so moist and soft I actually look forward to diaper changes — and so does my baby!

    I’m also pleased that Huggies Baby Wipes come in so many great scents, like lavender and chamomile. I was wondering, though: what about peppermint? Nothing says “clean” like peppermint, except maybe bleach. But bleach baby wipes are probably a bad idea. I recognize that. Peppermint, though — that’s a winner!

    Let me know what you decide.

    All the best,
    Tom

Read Huggies reply…

Comments

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  1. timmus says:

    I have to say when we raised our baby a couple of years ago, I thought wipes were a cool idea, but it seemed like they kind of just pushed the mess around. Damp washcloths or regular old toilet paper (dipped in a smidge of warm water to prevent chafing) seemed to work much better.

  2. kerry says:

    Wipes work well as long as you essentially squeegee the poop in one direction, then scoop it all up. They don’t fall apart as fast as toilet paper, and they’re more low-maintenance than washcloths.
    And I think Huggies should totally introduce bleach scented wipes, I can think of some neurotic parents who might actually go for that “fresh as a hospital bathroom” scent.

  3. Metschick says:

    The best wipes are the no-frills brand or a store brand. I hate when the wipes are sopping wet, and the store brands usually are a little drier than Huggies or Pampers kind. And they’re cheaper.

  4. Magister says:

    If we have a box that is a little wetter than we desire, we then just left it open for a few hours. Then if it is too dry, you can just add a little tap water.

    2 kids…

  5. econobiker says:

    I found the key on “wetness” of the wipes was to store the box or refill bag upside down prior to first use.

  6. acambras says:

    Has anyone read some of the other letters he’s written — they’re pretty funny. Click on the Huggies response link.

  7. kittikin says:

    Minor Tweaks is the shiz-nit, yo!

  8. Daytonna says:

    I really enjoyed the response emails. Regardless of what sharp witted compliment he sent in, the company invariably responded with a canned letter, that would have maybe one sentence of actualy response to his comment. Hillarious! Thanks for the chuckle!

  9. Negative says:

    Personally, I enjoy using wipes for myself. It’s like wiping your ass with a little slice of heaven!

  10. Elara says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t find them all that funny, really. Just kind of dumb. Seems like the type of thing I used to do back in college to get free stuff because I had no money. I thought I was smarter than the PR/Customer relations teams at these places, and that it would be really funny to slip in a back-handed compliment because they were too “stupid” to get it.

    Though, if writing random letters to companies that really don’t care is all it takes to get you excited, who am I to judge?

  11. acambras says:

    Negative — that would have been GREAT for Tom to put in a letter. :-)

  12. GenXCub says:

    acambras, add to it “they make my ass spring time fresh”

  13. Nancy Sin says:

    I’m sorry, I can’t stop laughing at that headline. And I enjoy the Minor Tweaks consumer letters. Maybe I am easily amused.

  14. Antediluvian says:

    The reason the companies can’t respond “in kind” to the letters the guy sends is because they can’t tell for certain he’s not serious.

    Think about it — you’re working the email queue for some large outfit and one of these things comes through w/ no context or backstory. Is it real? Is it written by a shut-in? Maybe someone who’s slightly mentally handicapped? Does a the big company want to take a chance on doing something totally stupid PR-wise (say, being smarmy to a retarded person), or just follow the playbook and assume the person was being sincere if perhaps backhanded in the compliment?

  15. The_Truth says:

    Ahh yes, cleaning up crap.

    The reason I dont have kids!

  16. I am one of the freaks, that likes the smell of bleach.

  17. RandomHookup says:

    I guess the topic of wiping baby asses has hit a hot spot. I’m sure Consumerist is rising the charts on the next Google search for “baby shit”.

  18. Paul D says:

    Um…

    Ewwwwwwww.

  19. SpamFighterLoy says:

    Zzzzzzzzzz…

  20. homerjay says:

    I’m with you, Simone. Bleach is the ultimate scent of clean. However, I actually do like the idea of peppermint wipies. Really anything that will get your mind off the fact that you’re wiping poop, no matter now cute the infant is.

    Oh course, if you use it too much then peppermint lifesavers will probably stop tasting the same.

  21. etinterrapax says:

    Peppermint is a skin irritant. I’m sure that has something to do with why wipes don’t come in that scent, though I suppose imitation scent would work. I like the shea butter ones just fine myself. I’ve been through about six brands of wipes, and Huggies are good. The refills, I have found, are drier than the original box. I don’t like a dripping wet one myself.

    My mother-in-law suggested the washcloth-and-water route, but she didn’t also offer to come and do my laundry, so that’s where we stand. She had a lot of ideas, and nearly all of them meant additional pain and/or work for me, and nothing special for her except the pleasure of giving advice. Isn’t that always the way.