Cook in the Kitchen, Cook in the Bedroom

That annoying Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus guy is taking money from Sears (yes, the department store) to study whether or not cooking more improves your sex life.

You’ll never guess the result!

“Close to 58 percent of couples who always cook together claim a satisfactory love life compared with a mere 30 percent who rarely or never hook up to make meals.”

Awesome. And get this :

“The study coincides with the retailer’s new Kenmore Pro line of upscale cooktops, dishwashers, ovens, ranges, range hoods, refrigerators, and warming drawers designed to compete against models from brands such as Thermador and Viking.”

What a clever way to sell appliances, and not just appliances… “upscale appliances.” One assumes after cooking cilantro glazed snapper from Whole Foods on your upscale appliance, you’ll be in the mood for some upscale sex on your upscale sheets. Just one snag, when trying to improve your love life… a new gas range costs a heck of a lot more than a vibrator, and unlike a vibrator, if you fall asleep with a gas range still on… you might die.

Comments

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  1. Nancy Sin says:

    Warming drawers indeed.

  2. Smoking Pope says:

    Cilantro glazed snapper. I saw that in a skin flick once.

  3. AcilletaM says:

    The softer side of Sears?

  4. nice stockings, ben.

  5. mark duffy says:

    best. post. ever. (this week). yeah, Popken, you seem to have a thing for chicks in stockings, if my memory is correct. I’m not complaining.

  6. Kos says:

    What about a study for couples that go out to dinner to get there Cilantro glazed snapper? Same percentages or better? No dishwashing necessary too…

  7. SamC says:

    Everyone repeat after me:

    Correlation does not imply causation!

  8. timmus says:

    /assets/resources/2006/10/sexycookin.jpg

  9. mdarnell says:

    I met my wife at culinary school….

  10. AaronM says:

    SamC speaks nothing but the truth. The likeliness of it is that couples that have a better relationship overall (sexual, emotional, intellectual) are going to cook together more often because they enjoy each other’s presence.

  11. Correlation does not imply causation!

    Correlation does not imply causation!

    The softer side of Sears?

    If this is the best post ever, then this is surely the best comment.

  12. acambras says:

    I thought the first 4 comments were particularly entertaining.

  13. Triteon says:

    Why is it I tend to believe the pic was Meghan’s doing rather than Ben’s? Why is it I prefer….

    If I haven’t said it: Welcome, Meghan!

  14. Ultravox says:

    She can come cook in my kitchen anytime. (I even have a Kenmore stove.)

  15. Meg Marco says:

    Indeed, the picture was my doing. What that says about me, I have no idea.

  16. ckilgore says:

    Oh guys. Where do you keep finding these private photos of me? Really. It’s getting embarrassing.

  17. Solo says:

    “Correlation does not imply causation!”

    You mean, manually wagging the tail of my dog does not make him happy?

    I thought buying thing is what make people happy. And when that does not work anymore, we can buy anti-depressant and then continue buying things. Things like the upscale Sears range.

    Husbands of the world, practice this sentence, and try to sound sincere:

    “Your meatloaf tastes so much better since we added $7,500 to our low reward, high interest credit card. I’m just glad we could buy more things. I love you.”

  18. amazon says:

    I hope she’s not cooking bacon.