Starbucks Okays The Ghetto Latte

Is that doofus hipster turd playing the barista giving you the evil eye over the Starbucks counter as you make your ghetto latte? Has he actually had the nerve to wander over to you and icily inform you that the milk at the condiment bar is not meant to help offset an extra dollar surcharge levied by his corporate masters on your coffee flavored drink?

First, karate chop him in the throat. Then, remind him that Starbucks HQ has explicitly condoned the ghetto latte:

    Customization is a fundamental attribute of the Starbucks Experience. We provide condiments to our customers so they can make their drinks to their liking and we appreciate their patronage. We trust our customers to make the choices that are right for them.

Of course, on the very same day they condone the practice, they raised coffee prices by a nickel. We recommend taking a few gulps of half-and-half straight from the carafe to get even.

Comments

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  1. Nancy Sin says:

    Through my (extremely limited) knowledge of pricing, it only makes sense that the reason a latte costs what it does (aside from the extortion mentioned in the cited article) is that they’re charging you for barista labor, correct? The time to get the milk, steam it in some cases, add it and mix.

    So, even though it’s minute, the barista does less work to make this drink, thus the price should be lower. And the fact that they just add cold milk to an iced latte instead of steaming it makes it evident that this “pricing loophole” is simply a symptom of a Starbucks pricing flaw.

  2. Polymath says:

    The Ghetto Latte phenomenon is old. It was happening when I worked at Starbucks (about 7 years ago). The way we were told to fight it is to put the drink in the smallest possible cup. That way the customer couldn’t use that much milk. Here’s an example scenario:

    Customer: 2 shots in a venti cup please.
    Me: No. You’ll get it in a tall cup.
    Customer: (Entire comment deleted due to expletives)
    Me: Ok, you’ll get it in a short cup.
    Customer: (More expletives)

    It goes on.

    Moral of the story: Nobody likes a cheap ass. Go to Dunkin Donuts and get a real latte there. They are cheaper and taste better too.

  3. thaShady says:

    I don’t even know what this article is about