Popeye Gets E. Coli
And millions of small children all across America suddenly break out into one collective peal of delight: a massive outbreak of E. coli in bagged spinach has federal health officials warning consumers not to eat the foul-tasting weed.
After an outbreak of E. Coli in over eight states left fifty people sick and one person dead, raw bagged spinach seems to be the likely culprit. Infections of E. Coli have been growing by the day. Affected states are Connecticut, IDaho, Indiana, Micigan, New Mexico, Oregon and Utah.
There's no word on what particular brand of raw bagged spinach this is, but surely, the grotesquely deformed mug of Popeye trickles a green, ichorous tear from his sole bulging eye. Then he heaves over, grabs his stomach with his bladder-like arms, and passes a bloody stool.
Post a comment
Comments:
.....It's definitely been pulled in Ft. Walton, at the Wally where the baby got locked in the car. I traditionally fix spinach salad at the beach, with the whole bacon grease/vinegar and boiled egg thing. Sigh. Spring mix has to do this year. But hey, at least there's no Ivan or Rita this year! The water's like a clear bathtub!
.....I resisted the temptation to ask what their policy on locked-in babies was, now. I was more or less in shock and awe at the 45 minute wait in the check-out line! Of course, when you go to Walmart at 7:00 on Saturday Night, you've gotta expect trouble. I think every citizen in the town was there, too.





Whew, I'm glad it's only the spinach. For a second I thought that my fried chicken supply was in jeopardy of being cut-off!
Please Consumerist, do not mess with me like this ever again.