Take Knowledge to the Extreme

The Consumer Product Safety Commission has taken your tax dollars and used them to create a weird ’70s looking website on ATV safety. Why? Because people are killing themselves. There were 136,100 emergency room visits casued by ATVs in 2004 alone. Now, internet assholes or no, we don’t want people killing themselves on ATVs, but we do have to laugh at the website’s slogan:

“Before you hit the trails, take knowledge to the extreme”

Are they trying to make people think ATV safety is lame? Extreme is so over…even the backlash against extreme is over. If Tickle Me Elmo is “Extreme” nothing is.

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  1. GAWKER INTERNAL AIM LOG

    GawkerOverlord: I sense a disturbance on the consumerist. Brownlee?! Where are you!?
    JB: Yes, Mr. Denton?
    GawkerOverlord: How have the blog-larvae been performing lately?
    JB: Well it’s not so bad… a few bad schizophrenic jokes and a bit overachieving on the snark but their heart is –
    GawkerOverlord: UNACCEPTABLE! Where is Popken? Bring him back from “vacation”.
    JB: But sir, when you said “vacation” we thought it was a metaphor for his demise. I mean– I strangled him with my bare hands and threw his body behind the dumpster just like you asked, oh great one!
    GawkerOverlord: I’m aware of that, fool! I want you to reanimate his corpse using the ritual that we read in that O’Reilly book.
    JB: Yes sir! Right away, sir!

  2. Keira says:

    “Taking Knowledge to the Extreme” is precisely the mantra I lead my English classes in, after we all High-Five one another, pledge allegiance to our elected leaders, and pray for guidance from the Lord.

    After that, it takes only a few hits from the Opium Pipe to bring these teenagers attention back to the Iliad.

  3. Smoking Pope says:

    I got way careful on mine when a guy died near my house on his. Hit a tree and impaled himself through the chest on a branch.

    Still, that’s a small price to pay for ignoring the feds and STICKING IT TO THE MAN!

  4. Paul D says:

    I live in Kentucky, where, sadly, there is a high rate of ATV injuries and deaths. Rednecks buy them and go gallavanting back through the woods of their grandaddy’s property and get themselves killed. And of course, no self-respecting redneck wears a helmet.

    If you drive in some of the smaller towns in Eastern Kentucky, you’ll have to deal with jackasses riding them on the road or even the highway. And if you honk or try to pass them, they throw their beer at you. (I am not making this up.)

    Cheesy though the site may be, I think anything that helps educate these assholes can only be a step in the right direction.