Carphone Warehouse Won’t Sell Internet To Septuagenarians

The befuddled geezer, the diaper wearing octogenarian — these are great marks. Myopically peering through laser-concentrating spectacles, they never can see the fine print. Heck, you can get them to pretty much get granny to sign her entire life away, just by making soothing noises in response to her pigeon-like cooing about her monthly budget and maybe flashing her a flirtatious smile.

So why wouldn’t Carphone Warehouse, a UK company, want the business of the elderly? That’s what Shirley Greening-Jackson, a 75 year old woman who spends her time confidently strutting atop the ledge of China’s Great Wall, wants to know.

When she went into Carphone Warehouse to sign up for this crazy Internet thing her grandkids were talking about, a representative told her she couldn’t sign up. They don’t allow grannies to make purchases, apparently, because they can’t read the fine print. Hey, Carphone Warehouse! Make everyone happy and make that print bigger, then surround it in skulls and crossbones!

As Mrs. Greening-Jackson says, “Somebody has decided when you turn 70 you lose a lot of your mind. I find this is ridiculous.” Well, we don’t, but we’re smug punks throbbing with mid-20’s vim.

Sorry, you can’t have the internet… you’re over 70 [Daily Mail] (Thanks, Trae!)

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  1. They don’t allow grannies to make purchases, apparently, because they can’t read the fine print.

    From the article it sounds as though they’re assuming that they would be confused by the fine print even if they could read it.

    The 75-year-old would only be allowed to sign the forms for the Carphone Warehouse’s TalkTalk phone and broadband package if she was accompanied by a younger member of her family who could explain the small print to her.

    Here’s an idea, how about having the EMPLOYEES explain the Terms of Service to the customers. Why should anyone buy anything from a company that tells you to find someone else to explain their product/service to you?

  2. Triteon says:

    60 Minutes ought to send Mike Wallace in with a camera crew and see if he can get internet access.

  3. Yep says:

    Whatever. These guys have their business engine stuck in reverse. While there will always be a market for products & services geared towards younger buyers, you’ve got to be an idiot not to realize the value of owning the allegiance of the senior crowd in the face of the impending glut of retired boomers. Entire businesses are being built around this phenomenon. The geezers are coming!

  4. Yikes. That looks like ‘Grandma Death’ in that photo.