Linky is broken. Might want to link to the beginning of the calculator rather than the end response...

Here, try this: http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/features/interact/calc/

Wow, if I quit my bad habits, I could afford to pay Bill Gates to be my pool boy!

Link fixed in post.

$10,759 for 4 years of college? Right. Maybe if you're awarded the much sought after Ex-cokehead Scholarship. Or perhaps they're talking per-year.

Holy crap, who pays $15,000 for a Sportster?

So, the moral here is... find cheaper drugs.

I think the link should be http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/features/interact/calc/
because the current link sends you straight to a results page.

I put in the numbers from my perscription drugs and I could have bought a "State-of-the-Art Surround Sound System" if I didn't insist on treating my various maladies.

Sorry! Let's pretend I didn't wait 40 minutes to hit the Post Comment button and ignore the first sentence in my post above.

$150 for a VCR, $200 for a DVD player?! I guess we are pretending we can afford a time machine back to 1998 as well.

okay.. the loggin is still fragged a bit.

Since I don't smoke, rarely drink other than Christmas and New Years (need it to deal with family) and don't do illegal drugs,

I can't afford anything! ;)

For God's sake, you cannot take a world cruise on Queen Elizabeth II for 34k or any other amount of money. The woman is 80 years old, and while her health is generally good the technical considerations of dumping her in the water, climbing on her and keeping her upright for three months are insurmountable. Plus, she has a day job.

Perhaps a world cruise on Queen Elizabeth 2, which is the name of the Cunard ship, yes, but Queen Elizabeth II, no.

I can get a Dell home computer if I give up drinking.

Oh, wait, I already have one. Never mind.

Elsewhere is right. The option is actually to cruise Liz Windsor and then do "around the world" with her. Things are tight at the palace and Prince P can't do the old in-and-out like he used to.

.....$600 won't even put a dent into the price of a real state of the art sound system. I think the cheapest Denon home theatre system starts about there.

You guys are missing the point: When you've got drugs and alcohol, you don't need all those other things to have fun.

So instead of doing drugs or alchohol, this has instead told me to buy more shit and sit on my ass at home getting fat. Seems like they're just substituting one evil for another. 800$ for a 36" color tv? Do we even need the "color" quantifier? When was the last time you EVER spoke to someone and tehy told you about their plans to get a B&W television? When the hell was the last time you saw a B&W tv for sale at anywhere but yardsales, thrift stores, or THE FUCKING CURB?

Sorry, I haven't slept in awhile. Guess I'll break open this 150$ VCR and start smoking parts of it.

Juses X Chirst, a Dell does not cost 1200$. The Concorde doesn't even fly anymore. I wonder why they threw out the 300$ Tickle-me-elmo doll, those seem to be a hit with meth addicts (that was crazy back in 2000, right?). Suprised they didn't list an annual 56k dailup for 400$.

If only I used drugs and alcohol. Then I could cut those out and go on a wildlife safari!

Hmm ...

1. Fill out the little spreadsheet and hit submit to submit my responses AND my static IP address.

2. Go sit out on the front porch and wait for the DEA and BATF to arrive.

Damn, Madderhatter beat me to it.

I was going to ask if it wouldn't be quite possibly the stupidest thing ever to point out how much you pay and how often you do drugs on a government website...

Thanks for helping me do math, Uncle Sam!

Seems to me that the government is better off with me drinking all the time; all those fat tax dollars and all that.

Eukaryote, it couldn't be much more stupid than the government thinking that anyone is being honest with the figures being put in there...which means they probably do.

I played with it at work, so it should be quite a scene when they show up. Perhaps I should keep some fizzy tablets handy so I can foam at the mouth while they cuff me.