Verizon Does Nice Things, For Nice People

After all these emails arrived chastizing us for sending people to a phish site in hopes of attaining 100 free Verizon minutes, we called Verizon to check it out.

We talked to five different people before we finally got the straight answer. A high up CSR confirmed the offer is valid. However, it’s only for “merit” customers. That’s why it won’t work for most of you. Because Verizon considers you without merit.

1:32 version (Is it just us, or does he sound a lot like Kevin, our friend we spoke with when we moved to Cambodia?)


powered by ODEO

9:23 version, along with full transcript, inside.


powered by ODEO

ANGELA: Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless mumble mumble Verizon Wireless. This is Angela, may I have your name please?

CONSUMERIST: Hi yes, this is…

SFX: Annoying tones.

ANGELA: Ok and can I get your mobile telephone number, area code first.

CONSUMERIST: Sure, uh

SFX: Tones.

(Long pause)

CONSUMERIST: Hello?

ANGELA: Yes…okay…is the account holder available?

CONSUMERIST: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.

ANGELA: I’m sorry, is the account holder available?

(Pause)

CONSUMERIST: (inhales) Well look, I don’t have a question about the account anyway-

ANGELA: (chipper) Oh, okay!

CONSUMERIST: I have a question about an offer, um, that I’m seeing on the internet I just want to confirm whether it’s valid…it’s this um 100 free anytime minutes? Thing? And, uh, you get there by going to the website verizonwireless.com/thankyou and that redirects to solutions dot uh vzwshop dot com slash offers slash 100 free
minutes, so that’s a real offer?

ANGELA: Okay, let me get you over to our online support, please hold.

CONSUMERIST: Okay.

SFX: Verizon pitching while we hold.

KENDRICK: Verizon Wireless, may I get your name please?

CONSUMERIST: Hi, uh Kendrick um, this is

SFX: Tones.

CONSUMERIST: How you’re doing?

KENDRICK: Doing fine, how ’bout you sir?

CONSUMERIST: Pretty good.

KENDRICK: Okay!

CONSUMERIST: I have a question about an offer I’m seeing online and I just want to check it out and make sure it’s a valid Verizon Wirless offer…It’s this 100 Free Anytime minutes thing? Uh is that something you guys are doing?

KENDRICK: One hundred free anytime minutes?

CONSUMERIST: Yeah, it ask you to punch in your first and last name, phone number, zip code and last four of your social, and then it gives you 100–

SFX: Truck honks outside.

CONSUMERIST: Excuse me. 100 free anytime minutes?

KENDRICK: I’m unaware of that sir. Now, are you at the Verizon Wireless website?

CONSUMERIST: Well here, I got there by going uhhh verizonwireless dot com slash thank you and then that redirects to solutions dot vzwshop dot com slash offers slash 100minutes. Is that a valid Verizon site?

KENDRICK: I’m not sure sir, I never heard of that before.

CONSUMERIST: Ok, uh, could you look into it?

KENDRICK: Uh, yes, sir, hold on one second.

(Long pause)

KENDRICK: Ok sir, what I’m gonna do for you is get you over to customer care and they’ll be able to answer that question for you, is that okay?

CONSUMERIST: Um, is that, are those the people that you get by calling-

KENDRICK: -Yes sir they deal with plans and stuff, yes sir.

CONSUMERIST: Uh, I called 1-800-922-0204 uh

KENDRICK: Uh-huh.

CONSUMERIST: Are those the same people because I was just over there and they sent me to you guys.

KENDRICK: Okay, hold on one second sir.

CONSUMERIST: Okay.

SFX: Your call is important to us.

CONSUMERIST: (sighs)

KENDRICK: Okay sir, what is your mobile telephone number, with the area code first?

CONSUMERIST: Uh…

SFX: Tones

KENDRICK: Okay, hold on second.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: Doo doo dee doo doo doo.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: Doo doo doo, doo dee doo.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: (Whistles)

SFX: Your call is important to us, you will be assisted as soon as possible. Please continue to hold.

CONSUMERIST: I bet.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: Durrr. Durr durr. Doo dee doo.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: So far, seven minutes and forty five seconds.

SFX: We appreciate your patience.

CONSUMERIST: Because no one knows anything.

SFX: Your call will receive the time and attention it deserves, when we return to the line.

CONSUMERIST: From snorting heroin in the bathroom.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: I don’t know what all this whispering is.

SFX: Please continue to hold.

CONSUMERIST: Sounds like there’s whispering on the Verizon line. Sounds like fucking ghosts trying to attack me. They’re trying to spook me off the call with ghosts.

VERIZON: Hello sir?

CONSUMERIST: Hello?

VERIZON: I do apologize for the wait, uhm…….I do apologize for the wait.

CONSUMERIST: Okay, okay.

VERIZON: Sir? What I’m going to do for you, I’m gonna need to get some information about what website you’re currently at?

CONSUMERIST: Yeah! Okay. So I went to verizonwireless dot com slash thankyou, and then

VERIZON: Uh huh.

CONSUMERIST: That redirected to solutions dot vzwshop dot com slash offers slash 100minutes? And, it’s 100 free anytime minutes thing it says, it says all I have to do is insert my info and I get a hundred free minutes? I just want to know if it’s like, you know, legit.

VERIZON: Sooo but the website is not like the Verizon Wireless main website at all?

CONSUMERIST: No, it’s something different. Which is why, you know-

VERIZON: Okay.

CONSUMERIST: I was like, what is this?

VERIZON: Well sir, the customer care representative said he’s not aware of any plan, like any plan, where you can get 100 free anytime minutes.

CONSUMERIST: Okay.

VERIZON: He never heard of that. So it’s probably, uh, not…true.

CONSUMERIST: Okay, well, um, then you guys have like a problem, because if this is not a valid site, it’s getting redirected from your main page, you know, if it’s not valid, someone could be…taking advantage of your website…. to redirect it elsewhere to gather people’s info for whatever reason.

(Pause)

CONSUMERIST: Is there anyway you guys could like, verify it more deeply? And then get back to me if it, you know, if it checks out?

VERIZON: Okay, hold on one second sir.

CONSUMERIST: Sure.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

SFX: We appreciate your patience. Please be assured your call will receive the time and attention it deserves, when we return to the line.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

CONSUMERIST: Doo doo doo dee doo.

SFX: Jazzy muzak.

VERIZON: Hello sir? I have a customer care representative on the line who’s gonna be more than happy to assist you…

CONSUMERIST: Okay.

VERIZON: Is there anything else I could possibly do for you?

CONSUMERIST: Uh no, this is the only thing I’m concerned about.

VERIZON: Alright, thank you for calling Verizon Wireless. You both have a great day.

VERIZON2: Thank you, mam, you too. Hello sir?

CONSUMERIST: Hi.

VERIZON2: Hello sir, how are you doing?

CONSUMERIST: Pretty good, how’re you?

VERIZON2: I’m doing fine sir, uh what particular website are you at right now?

CONSUMERIST: Okay, um, first I went to verizonwireless dot com slash thank you, and that redirected me to solutions dot vzwshop dot com slash offers slash 100minutes… I guess they’ve filled you in on my question and what the whole deal is about?

VERIZON2: Rightt…let’s take a look at it then, cause I see it here.

(Pause)

VERIZON2: You must be a “merit” customer.

CONSUMERIST: Yeah.

VERIZON2: Okay…so you would be able to get this. Okay. Yes sir, that is an actual advertisement.

CONSUMERIST: So it’s valid, it’s not a phising site, I’m not going to have identity theft-

VERIZON2: No.

CONSUMERIST: Identity thieves like sneak through my house because I go here.

VERIZON2: No. No sir, you won’t.

CONSUMERIST: So, it’s a valid Verizon site.

VERIZON2: Yes sir.

CONSUMERIST: Okay, all right well, thank you for your help!

VERIZON2: It’s my pleasure sir. Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless, wedoappreciateyourbusiness, have a nice day, okay?

CONSUMERIST: Okie dokie, you too.

VERIZON2: Thank you, sir, byebye.

CONSUMERIST: Bye-bye.

END.

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. I dunno why people thought it was a phishing site. I’ll gleefully admit to not having a Verizon account to upgrade, but I’m not such a buffoon that I was gonna direct people to a site I hadn’t actually taken a decent look at.

  2. Antediluvian says:

    Anyone know yet what determines a “merit customer”?

    I’m thinking strongly of taking my $150/mo VZW bill to another provider.

  3. homerjay says:

    Wow, that last guy didn’t sound very comitted to that answer. I’d be surprised if this actually IS valid.

    He sounded like he just wanted to get you off the line.

    I’d like to see this even further investigated…