Travelers, Please Leave Your Tits At Home

And traveling just got a hell of a lot drearier: U.S. authorities are advising women not to wear gel bras when traveling, lest they be mistaken for a bosom-emphasizing terrorist.

This could not come at a worse time. As if flying weren’t hadn’t already become a a dull, plodding misadventure of inconvenience without the humiliation of forced flatness, the misery of a surroundings full of mammarian surfboards.

ABC’s “blog” is quick to point out that women have been suicide bombers before, although perhaps not by smuggling the explosives onto the plane in a couple of sloshing artificial Double D’s. Granted. But isn’t a world filled with beautiful, beautiful breasts worth an exploding airplane or two?

Authorities Warning Women Not to Wear Gel Bras As Worries of Possible Female Bombers Increase [ABC]

Comments

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  1. RandomHookup says:

    Does this also apply to implants?

  2. Fake-nipple detonators?

  3. Triteon says:

    In another thread I asked a question I didn’t have an answer for: what is our breaking point on too much security? I just found mine.

  4. mactbone says:

    What happens if you use them more than 100 times? Do they explode? Maybe that’s why they’ve been banned. Wait, what’s a use? A day of wear? A security feel up? Sexual harrasment? A dry hump?

  5. amazon says:

    You have to wonder how security is going to confirm that these are being brought on to a plane…manually?

  6. I hope they’ll be checking guys’ guts, too.

    http://www.thebeerbelly.com/

  7. matto says:

    lol stealthy bra

  8. Anonymously says:

    Lots of bras come with gel straps these days….

  9. etinterrapax says:

    Great. I suppose that those of us who don’t need gel bras can look forward to being strip-searched now. Like having them wasn’t humiliating enough.