You don’t have to be a laid-off Northwest employee to appreciate these money-saving tips. We’ve uploaded the same booklet they gave their recently fired employees and they offer savvy savings for all of us.
We really like tip #53. Works great, provided you have a place of employ to bike to.
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Set your thermostat to 64 and turn it down to 60 at night.
Is it cold anywhere in the country right now? How are you supposed to save money by keeping the A/C running 24/7?
19. Write letters instead of calling.
Oh my GOD.
66. Iron your own shirts.
Were they even making enough to pay someone to do that before?
There are so many things wrong with list, beginning with #1 – Please
tell me how setting my thermostat to 64 and 60 will help me save money
IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER? Also, #10 “throw pocket change in jar” – As
opposed to throwing it in the garbage like I usually do? Thanks NWA!
#21 “Make your own baby food” – and sell it online! Profit!
These aren’t bad advice if doing them would constitute genuine savings, but I somehow doubt that a lot of these people were living all that high on the hog in the first place. About half of them are things I already do to keep a family going on an average household income. Without any income, all of the tips that started with “buy…” would be useless to us. I’m not buying any furniture, yard sale or otherwise, if I’m worried about keeping the electricity on and the mortgage paid.
Not to mention that if it’s the entity putting you out of work that’s also giving tips on how to save money, the thing is patronizing at best. How about 101 Tips To Keep Your Company From Going Down the Toilet?
#102 – Churn your own butter.
#103 – Make your own candles and use them, instead of electricity.
#104 – Cut your own hair.
#106 – Make your own clothes out of used grocery bags
#107 – Don’t bother with a grocery store – just go to the food bank!
The problems actually start before the list:
with a little planning and a positive attitude
Who’s going to have a positive attitude about being laid off?
47. Recycle.
Not that recycling is a bad idea but how does it save you money?
Take (approximately) 16 aluminum cans to the pound @ 35 cents/lb…43 tons later you have a nice income!
#108 – Rent your uterus to a barren couple
#109 – Sell your blood
#110 – Sell your eggs to fertility clinics
#111 – Freecycle
#112-Sell your semen. If you’re a woman without a significant other, I’m sure you can convince men on the street to provide you with semen to sell.
79. Use old newspapers for cat litter.
that.is.disgusting.
Find an old auto-dialer and ask for $1 in exchange for eternal happiness.
#113: Start a company where you get paid big bucks by failing
corporations to provide inane “money saving” tips to laid-off workers.
Some of these are just mind-boggling.
#23: “Drop duplicate medical insurance.” Who signs up for two insurance plans?
#44: “Convert your cash value life insurance to term.” Is cash value life insurance even offered any more?
#57: “When you buy a home, negotiate the sales price and closing costs.” Anybody who doesn’t negotiate on the price of their home is too clueless to live.
#78: “Make your own coffee.” Better yet, stop drinking coffee altogether. You’ll sleep better.
#82: “Water your garden at night or early in the morning.” Like I have a choice? Even here in Massachusetts (not exactly the most parched area of the nation), the town forbids outdoor water use between 9 and 6 during the summer.
#85: “Grow your own vegetables or herbs.” Someone who’s so hard up that they use newspapers for kitty litter isn’t eating fresh vegetables, and shouldn’t have time for gardening—it takes a lot of work.
#94: “Buy software at computer fairs.” (a) What software is someone out of work really going to need? (b) Do computer fairs still happen? I haven’t seen any advertised in ages; I thought they’d been displaced by eBay.
#114: Offering blow jobs for $10 to complete strangers can be an excellent way to generate some quick cash (and make a few friends at the same time).
these tips reek of the 1970′s.
I like “Quit smoking.”
Even more effective is “quit smoking pot,” which of course leads to “quit smoking crack.”
But then, if they follow these suggestions, they probably won’t want to work at NWA anymore!
#115 – Instead of buying your kids toys for the pool just use seat cushions as floatation devices.
#115: Don’t fly Northwest
Damn! Ok
#116: Don’t fly Northwest
#117: Since you’ll be dumpster diving anyway, sell things you find in the trash
#118: Burn this leaflet to generate heat during the winter
#119: If you have extra children, sell them off.
#120 Rent out spare rooms for extra cash – like that is a safe option, especially if you have kids!
#121 Use your imagination. What is junk to one man is furniture to you
#122 McDonalds and other restaurants toss out perfectly good food. Check their dumpsters and eat for free. *BLECH*
#123 Get hit by a car and sue the insurance company for money
#124 Honest – this was just a joke! Don’t take us seriously. – Must have been written up by the same consultant firm who came up with the Canadian Reform Alliance Party. We know our politicians are full of C***p but we didn’t need them to spell it out for us. Although, it was refreshing for them to at least admit it for once!
#125 If you must travel, fly Northwest. Due to recent restructuring we now offer cheaper flights.