War on Juicy Juice Leads To Unexpected Upsides

Though powers that be would like you to cower in fear at that young pretty girl drinking a bottle of water, or that gentleman next to you with his coiffure slick with gel; though your in-flight entertainment will now be limited to staring straight ahead with excruciating bovinity, or engaging in conversations with the 50 year old German woman next to you about the boils on her legs… always look on the sunny side of life! Our good buddy Mark over at Upgrade Travel has posted a list of unexpected perks of the War on Juicy Juice:

    • No roll-on or gel deodorants just means you’ll get to smell that humanity the way the Maker intended. And remember, you’re not just getting a whiff of your neighbor in seat 37E. That’s the smell of the war on terror. It’s the smell of freedom.

    • No books = more time to peruse the SkyMall Magazine. Why read for the sake of reading, when you can read for the sake of shopping?

And, as he notes, less drinking = less urination. Which means the restrooms are wide open for their true purport: extremely awkward and uncomfortable coitus, “just because.”

Oh, the humanity! Upsides of the new air travel restrictions [Upgrade Travel]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.