Yesterday’s foiled terrorist plot to blow up nine jets led to some truly astonishing security measures. With those precautions come larger questions: is it more important to keep 100% of the people 100% safe 100% of the time by forcing them to give up their comforts, their smallest, most casual freedoms? Or is it worth the occasional atrocity to not live in a culture of fear — the terrorists only real victory?
Such questions are boring. The bigger question is: now that you can’t bring as much as a book or a bottle of water on a plane, will in-flight casual promiscuity swell along with Mile High Club members? After all, short of the shitty in-flight movie, what else is there to do now on that 8 hour flight besides fuck? Enter Airtroductions, a dating site aimed at hooking up libidinous passengers on the same flight.
Of course, we’re not sure it’s all it’s cracked up to be. For example, consider the image to the right, of Airtroductions ghastly founder Peter sitting next to Miss Texas 2002, who appears to be a melting troll. “Since sitting next to her on a trip from Houston to New York, I’ve taken over 300 airplane trips, and have yet to sit next to someone that beautiful.” If that’s the greatest pictorial testimony you can muster as to the success of your service, I’ll leave my boner at check-in.
Airtroductions [Official Site]
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God help us all…..
I’m guessing that instead of fucking, it will be getting fucked. On prices. The prices of in flight beverages and other such things that will undoubtedly be sold on planes for exhorbanant prices now that people can’t bring on their water bottle.
If anything, I would expect the number of inflight anxiety freakouts to skyrocket.
See, I’m not the biggest fan of planes. If I’m not allowed to bring my iPod and my Game Boy and some water, they’re taking away my Right to Be Distracted from Being Way Up in the Freakin’ Air in a Noisy, Shaky Metal Tube.
Saw on the news that the folks at Heathrow took away someone’s books yesterday, for God’s sake. No books on a 12 hour flight! Ye gods…
Wait, what? No books? Since when are books a liquid?
Apparently flights originating from England aren’t allowing much of anything to be carried on. See Heathrow Airport Rules.
Argh!! No reading materials!?! So it’s going to be a 4-hour elevator ride with beverage service?
Well, you can always read the in-flight magazine and the SkyMall catalogue. That’s not to anyone’s fiscal advantage or anything…