Eyewitness Report on Airplane Liquid Restrictions

Brooke went to a real live airport this morning and witnessed the shampoo and Dasani blockade first-hand.

    “Shampoos and other gels/liquids must be checked. Beverages cannot be brought on the plane. They are allowing baby formula and medicine onboard but those things could be subjected to inspection. From what I understood at the airport, these are temporary restrictions that will probably be re-evaluated when the initial threat and chaos settles down. “

Hmm, temporary restrictions. Let’s see, how long did it take them to remove that useless lighter ban? Oh, they enacted it in late April ’05 and it’s still in place, despite the urging of the TSA to Congress? Gotcha.

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  1. homerjay says:

    Just as I suspected… we’re inching closer and closer to naked, no-carry-on air travel.

    Just get it over with already….

  2. Crissy in Honolulu says:

    Did I miss something? What’s so useless about the lighter ban?

  3. Uh oh... Cleveland says:

    If I freeze my beer, it’ll be a solid and not a liquid and I can bring it on the plane, right? Or how about a vodka-cicle?

  4. Ben Popken says:

    Crissy, the head of the TSA thinks it’s useless.

  5. thwarted says:

    What’s the deal with electronic gadgets? Are there any restrictions on those?

  6. Ben Popken says:

    Only if you’re flying out of the UK or Canada.

  7. souhaite says:

    Anyone remember the hubbub not too long ago when they made a mother flying with her infant taste her own breast milk? How long before that happens again?

  8. magic8ball says:

    Conspiracy theory: this is actually all a plot by the airlines. Once they have banned every conceivable liquid passengers could possibly carry on, they will start charging for beverages like water or soda that they previously provided for free. Discuss.

  9. RumorsDaily says:

    We should ban lighters. We really don’t need more flammable liquids on airplanes. In fact, I’m with them on some of these banned items. Hairspray and a match would make a formidible weapon on a plane. Anything that’s hyper-flammable, you shouldn’t be bringing on planes unless you have a legitimate reason for starting airborne fires. I can’t think of any such reasons.

  10. Chris says:

    Oh for God’s sake. Hairspray and a lighter? Are Beavis and Butthead going to be hijacking this plane?

  11. DeeJayQueue says:

    a ligher i can understand but hairspray? like a can of aquanet? where on a plane could you get away with spraying that? I’m sure the guy behind you would love having the blowback from your beehive all over his new MacBook. The spritzy kind isn’t that dangerous… what, would you spritz me to death? run around the plane spritzing little fireballs at people?

  12. masd says:

    The people responsible for angering terrorists don’t ever have to wait in lines to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 8hrs, being fed a 3rd of a can of soda and a bag of salted bar snacks, and listen to kids freak out when their ears pop from pressure changes. They have privates jets paid for by the people who get subjected to all of that.

    Reminds me of the South Park episode with the machine that required fellating and being sodomized by the controls in order to operate it, but it was so fast that it made airplanes obsolete. The reason anyone would use it in that manner was that people wouldn’t have to deal with all the BS at airports.

  13. Crissy in Honolulu says:

    Ben: I know what the head of the TSA said, but just because the head of the TSA says something, that doesn’t mean it’s an irrefutable argument. There really isn’t any reason why anyone would need a lighter while on board a plane. Mouthwash, on the other hand . . .

  14. Triteon says:

    If the TSA really wanted to do us a favor they would hand out mouthwash, deodorant and Baby Quaaludes prior to boarding.
    (Meant as a joke; no, I do not condone drugging your children with anything stronger than I gave mine– Children’s Tylenol and transcripts of Dukakis speeches.)

  15. Anonymously says:

    What pisses me off is the “optional” removal of shoes. They always very angry black men the size of John Coffey standing at the gates saying “it’s recommended” in a deep, scary voice. The implication being that if you don’t take off your shoes, John is more than happy to give you a full cavity search.

  16. Morton Fox says:

    The Oozinator is probably on the banned list too. :)

  17. iankasley says:

    souhaite, RE: mothers tasting their own breast milk… check… heard them mention this on CNN tonight.

    Curious if anyone’s actually written an official procedure for dealng with this or not, or if it’s more left up to the judgement (or thuggish asshole impulses, depending on who you happen to get) of the TSA screeners.

  18. Pelagius says:

    This guy
    demonstrates how to properly dispose of fluids before flying. A couple
    of those will take the edge off of a plane full of thirsty babies and
    ipod-less adults.