UPDATE: 43 Things Not To Do At McDonald’s Pulled. We Restore!

Apparently, that 43 Things Not To Do When Visiting McDonald’s list, illuminated by the sober dawn of reflection, was deemed not a wise career move by Joanna from Walker, Louisiana.

Perhaps she was cowed by the fact that there is only one McDonald’s in Walker. Perhaps she realized that a list in which she openly discussed sabotaging and creating health violations that she would then serve to customers was not politic for advancement. Perhaps she even realized that there were no other Joannas working at her McDonald’s and that it would be trivial to identify her, if the list were to fall into the wrong McDonald’s executives hands.

So she wisely pulled it. But it’s a shame to have such a manifesto of McDonald’s employee contempt so ignominiously lost.

Thankfully, one of our readers was smart enough to save a copy. And send it on to us! And, as preservationists, it’s really our duty to preserve such a consumerist literary treasure forever.

The list Joanna of the McDonald’s in Walker, Louisiana doesn’t want you to see… after the jump!


Things not to do when visiting a Mc Donald’s. ADD ON

Well first of all i guess i should introduce myself..My name is Joanna.. i work at Mcdonalds in Walker , Louisiana..
i’ve been working at mcdonalds for 2 years .. moving from place to place to different stores since hurricane katrina.

i brought a copy of the old “things not to do when visiting a mcdonalds” that i saw on here to work… and me and a few girls from work decided to add on during the shift.. and we came up with a lot more than we thought we would haha well if anyone is interested in reading them here they are.

1. If we have temporarily run out of an item on the menu, dont cry about it and make stupid commetns about how “this never happens at burger king!” either order something else or get the hell out!.

2. If something is out-of-order, get over it. The world is an imperfect place and mcdonalds is not immune to that.

3. If im on my break and eating in the lobby, dont ask me to fetch you BBQ sauce. just because im still in uniform does not mean im on the clock.

4. If you dont speak english well, bring an interpreter.. if not dont get upset when your order gets messed up.

5. Dont confuse franchises! we dont biggie size, we dont have onion rings or nachos, and no..you may not “have it your way”.

6. Dont roll your eyes at me if you just paid me eight dollars and forty three cents in change and im counting to verify..its my register and ill do it my way.

7. If you dont see tomatoes on the sandwich in the picture dont fucking ask me to take them off. The big mac has been around for ages.. it dosent have tomatoes..

8. Dont start handing me change after ive already totaled your order, opened my register and started counting your change. Its not my fault you were too slow..just take what i give you!

9. Keep your sweaty, wrinkly bills to yourself..along with your sticky change.

10. Dont fucking ask me if your sauce is in the bag if you never asked for it in the first place.

11. When i hand you your food.. and say “have a nice day!” you better respond with a smile, a “thanks, you too” or at least acknowledge my existence.. its called being polite people..

12. Dont scream at me if i ask you to repeat your order.. we’re talking about cheeseburgers , not missiles..so calm down!

13. Dont come into the lobby two minutes before we close. chances are ive already cleaned ,and it will only cause me to do unspeakable things to your (already stale) food.

14. If you ask me for a moment to decide , dont ask me “are you ready” you needed more time – not me!

15. If you have a “turbo disel” truck or an abnormally loud vehicle..how about turning off the engine genius? instead of trying to order over the noise .. I guarentee you’ll find it much easier to understand each other.

16. Dont act offended when i check your bills to see if they are counterfeit. Everywhere else you bring it, they’re going to do the same thing.

17. Please dont order a combo and then when i ask what kind of drink you tell me you dont want one. that defeats the whole purpose of ordering a fucking combo idiot!

18. When you pull to the window and hear/see me taking another order.. dont start talking to me about your order you rude whore.

19. After you pay, proceed to the next window if noone is in front of you.. Our buisness is over.

20. Listen when i say “your recipt will be at the next window” dont sit there and stare at me after i close the window.

21. Please learn what time breakfast ends and lunch starts. no .. i dont serve burritos all day. This is not jack-in-the-box.

22. If you’re a senior citizen , dont think you can drive past the speaker and say you forget to order.. go back around like everyone else! you already get discounts ..what more special favors do you expect?!

23. For the LOVE OF GOD, if you know you should..then cover your damn self up! just cause its drive-thru dosent mean you shouldnt dress decent still.

24. If your card is declined.. dont ask why and assume its our fault. Put some damn money in the bank cheap ass.

25. Do realize that i can hear everything you say from the moment you pull up to the speaker till you drive off. so if you’re talking shit , dont act so suprised when im not exactly friendly when you get to the window.

26. If im busy taking an order, dont put your money on the ledge and not expect me to do the same thing with your change.

27. Does this look like toys-r-us? who cares if your kid’s got 10 of the same toy already.. thats telling me you dont feed them at home enough

28. I fucking know what PLAIN means.. dont feel the need to include that means “meat and cheese only!”

29. You are about 10 feet from the window when you are at the speaker..dont ask me what you total is when i told you once AND it was on the screen.

30. Dont order a large ice cream cone.. they’re all one size.

31. Dont come through drive thru after your mid life crisis in your new sports car.. and try to impress me with your 1987 pick up lines.

32. Dont come through drive thru and then tell the manager at the 2nd window that i was rushing you. Drive thru is SUPPOSED to be fast.

33. Dont ask me if we do cash back, this isent a bank.

34. Dont order free water and then sit in front my window and ask what the hold up is..you arent paying for it anyway..

35. If you ordered a burger without pickles and they somehow ended up there anyway.. just pick them off because thats all im going to do when you bring it back to me to “fix it”.

36. CLEAN. UP. YOUR. MESS . those trash cans are conveniently located next to the exits for a reason.

37. If you are the passenger of the car or in the backseat and you know that you dont talk very loud.. dont try to order for everyone in the car..

38. Please quiet your kids and other passengers from trying to order all at the sametime. I can only listen to one person at a time.

39. If you let go of your money before i grab it, or you drop it while i am handing it to you.. dont look at me like you really expect me to get it for you..besides you’re closer.

40. What’s the point of “easy ice”?? our ABS machine dosent even have that setting. either order no ice or take what you get.

41. if you wouldnt talk like you have SHIT in your mouth, i could understand you the first time…

42. If you see me having a conversation for a few seconds with the car in front of you.. dont be an asshole and honk your horn.. you will get your food soon enough, chances are it isent even bagged yet.

43. DONT TALK SHIT as you are leaving the first window. I still have another window i can catch you at..and trust me I WILL.!

Comments

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  1. homerjay says:

    Judging by her new posting on that site, it looks like she doesn’t know that we exist.

    How long before CNN picks up on this? :) oh man, that’ll learn her.

  2. Ah the internet.. nothing is ever truly gone! It’s been some slow news days, even a company firing their employee by text made CNN, so why not this?

  3. RogueSophist says:

    I have a funny feeling this girl’s going to be having it her way when the Biggie-sized fallout from this list hits McD’s corporate.

  4. etinterrapax says:

    Embarrassing, future-damaging exposure on the internet is going to be this generation’s automotive virginity loss, pre-birth control.

  5. homerjay says:

    So who’s gonna be the scab to send it to McD’s? Assuming they haven’t already seen it. Also assuming that they give a crap.

  6. Kat says:

    A full rebuttal:

    1. Don’t run out of menu items.

    2. Maintain the machines properly.

    3. Politely tell a customer you are on your break.

    4. Same to you.

    5. We get a thousand ads stuffed in our faces daily – don’t be angry when we have a momentary lapse.

    6. Don’t roll YOUR eyes when we pay for a $2 meal with a twenty.

    7. We’re customers, we don’t know everything. As the employee, you should know more about the food than we do.

    8. Wait for the change, especially if we say “I think I have the 2 cents…”

    9. We get sweaty, sticky money from you too.

    10. Don’t complain when we ask for the sauce. You make mistakes too… maybe we did ask for it and you forgot!

    11. Same to you.

    12. Don’t get angry when I don’t think you got all of my order and I ask you to repeat it.

    13. Two minutes before you close is still business hours.

    14. If I say that, I’m simply making sure you’re *still* ready for my order. Chances are you worked on something else after I asked you to wait a moment.

    15. Yeah, cuz fast food places are quieter than libraries. How about shutting off your annoying alarms?

    16. Don’t act offended when I check the bills you give me back to see if they’re counterfeit.

    17. Don’t get angry when we change our minds about the combo.

    18. Pay attention when I pull up to your window.

    19. Acknowledge the fact that I have given you correct change, and I *will* pull up.

    20. Maybe there’s something else I needed.

    21. Until you start listing the time breakfast ends on the menu outside, I will ask what time it ends.

    22. Politely tell the senior citizen to drive back around. Sometimes they honestly do forget.

    23. I’ll give you that one.

    24. Having my card declined in front of you is embarassing. Maybe if I made more money by abusing my customers like you, I’d have enough to put in the bank.

    25. Do realize we can overhear you saying nasty things about us when we’re sitting at the drive-up.

    26. Just put it where I can reach it.

    27. How I feed my kid is none of your business. If I want a new toy, give me a new toy.

    28. Plain could mean without pickles to one person, without condiments to another.

    29. Those speakers sometimes crackle or drop out, and the screens don’t always work.

    30. Again, you work there, you know this. We don’t.

    31. I’ll give you that one too.

    32. Then don’t rush me.

    33. Some McDonald’s do offer cash back.

    34. If you want to get rid of me, just give me the water.

    35. Well, you’re the one who screwed up the order, so stop complaining.

    36. I’ll give you this one as well.

    37. Okay, then don’t talk too loudly or softly into your microphone.

    38. I’m trying to keep them quiet, believe me.

    39. As long as you don’t drop my money when you’re handing it to me.

    40. Quit whining that you have to exert yourself and dump half the ice out.

    41. Same to you.

    42. Don’t sit there and talk for 5 minutes with the car in front of me. Gas is expensive.

    43. Don’t insult me as I pull away. I can report you to your manager.

    If you are this bitter, quit your job and get one where you don’t have to work with the public. I worked in retail for over 2 years and never got this angry.

    • ShizaMinelli says:

      @Kat: THANK YOU!!! I work in retail myself, and there are things the customer’s do that you just want to scream at them…but you don’t. It’s your JOB to be there dealing with customer BS, if you don’t like it find a job that doesn’t involve people.

      “42. If you see me having a conversation for a few seconds with the car in front of you.. dont be an asshole and honk your horn.. you will get your food soon enough, chances are it isent even bagged yet.”

      This drives me insane. I’ve been stuck behind cars while the drive-thru person and the driver stand there talking for 3-4 minutes, than I’M the asshole for honking?!? It doesn’t work that way, get back to work and text b/w cars or on your break.

  7. Papa K says:

    Katz – awesome.

    I know they say children are the future, but this is making me question that whole assumption. Maybe we need to be a tad more selective…

  8. AcilletaM says:

    The comments from her old post had a couple people saying they were contacting corporate. It’s anybody’s guess if it was true though.

  9. WMeredith says:

    This is the kind of attitude I had to fire people over weekly when I managed a small (somewhat) upsacale deli for a year. I’m so glad I don’t have to work with the bottom of the workplace food chain anymore.

    Nice, Kat2.

  10. Ben Popken says:

    Patten writes:

    “Found a link to apparently an older/equally as inane post on LiveJournal by a Mickey D’s employee…

    http://community.livejournal.com/mcdonalds_talk/188329.htm

    There are 3 freestanding McDonald’s in Clovis, California. Shouldn’t be too hard to figure out which one he’s at.”

  11. Excellent rebuttal Kat2. I’ve always said that employee attitude is a result of manager attitude though. Makes you wonder what kind of person manages at these McDonalds.

  12. Triteon says:

    I’ll jump on the Katz bandwagon, with one minor tweak: Folks, if you go to McDonald’s (among others) you may notice the 64 sq ft menu board has about 9 things on the menu– most are variations of burger/fry/drink. You’re not trying to choose the salmon over the steak. Should it take longer than several seconds to order a couple #3’s? (C’mon, keep using the drive-through. Big Oil loves you idling at 0 mpg! But that’s a different rant.)
    And Miss McSpeakerbox– should it take longer than several seconds to ring up a couple of #3’s? ‘Cause you know, the faster you “get rid” of the customer the sooner you can go back to prepping for close.

  13. AcilletaM says:

    I was looking at the link Patten added and noticed that Joanna’s account seems to have disappeared.

  14. GenXCub says:

    Portions of this are google cached… for posterity :)

  15. Paula says:

    Besides having an attitude, she also can’t spell. No wonder she has to work at McDonald’s and is angry about it.

  16. sensrule83 says:

    I also work at mcdonalds and i wanna say a few things about kat2’s remark. First of all i agree with several things that you say, as a manager theres alot that some of our employees would do and i wouldn’t employ someone that would post this, but there are a few things that customers need to understand

    1. If we are out of a menu item, it is not the crew persons fault, so yelling to him/her about it is not going to help. Usually we get our truck every 5 days, and we underestimate how much of a certain item we are going to sell. Mainly Ice Cream or other items that depend on the weather.

    2. We do regular maintenance on all of our equipment, but i have seen problems… ie one day we had a fire so on of our grills were down and we couldn’t serve grill chicken. At Least we stayed open. Besides you have problems at home regardless of any maintenance you do, i mean things do break down on Occasion

    15. If you know your using a loud car could you please just turn it off. It would make things easier on everyone, and all the beeps at mcdonalds is to ensure that your food isn’t overcooked, or sitting in a tray too long, i know its not a perfect system, but we get by. This is why (atleast in Canada) we play the radio over the speakers.

    42. Usually if i am having a conversation at the first window a) the customer hasn’t paid yet and is counting change b) they are asking a question about an order. Joanna is right for once, they probably don’t have your food ready anyway, if it takes a extra couple of minutes, assume its for a good reason.

    Something else i want to post here tho, and as a long-term employee i need to say it, if you ask for a large order lets say 3 or 4 combos or 6 sandwiches or a non-popular item last at night, and we ask you to park along the side (politely), do not argue and ask why, it every situation its the same, your food is not ready yet, and we have the next customers food ready, and we want to keep our drive-thru running as much as possible. so if you have 4 combos and were waiting on chicken nuggets and the next order is only a big mac, then we will park you, and atleast for myself, i’ll tell you why.

  17. DoveyDove1991 says:

    I don’t care what any of you say, if you don’t work Mcdonalds you don’t understand. Joanna is 100% right. Everything she’s saying, I can guarantee you EACH AND EVERY Mcdonalds employee thought the same, no matter what they say, or how they act. You, as customers can not only be fucking ANNOYING, but you can be discourteous and RUDE just because you know we can’t really do anything at the cost of our jobs. I’m not saying we as Mcdonalds employees don’t have our days, but SERIOUSLY, customers, as someone who used to be a regular going their and not being a worker, I can honestly sympathize with them now.

    Joanna got fired for speaking the truth. They knew she said what they were thinking, sarcasm and all, but they had to save face.