Whorehouse Gives Great Customer Service

Sometimes stories of wonderful care for the customer shows up in the oddest places, like a massage parlor on the Lower East Side.

“I’m sure I contributed to the spread of illegal human trafficking,” a reader writes. ” So yeah, there was a bit of guilt, not to mention I’m married. And while this wasn’t my first time doing this, it was my first time going to a house of ill repute and it’s something in general that I hadn’t done in years. I thought my life was different nowadays.

I’ll blame it on the heat.”

There’s a happy ending, inside…


This is a story I would love to submit to the Times for it’s Metro Diary, but somehow I think they’d pass. It’s a story of exemplary customer service, so maybe it’s good for Consumerist…

…When I walk in, I see I’ve arrived during a slow period. An elderly woman is hunched over a stove, poking her tongs at roasting spare ribs. Another elderly woman is serving a batch of those ribs to three young women sitting around a counter. All the women were eating them with little plastic gloves on their hands.

As I’m guided to a bedroom through the kitchen, they make a joke, giggle, and ask if I want some spare ribs. I say yes, as I love the roasted ribs I get at many of the Chinese joints in Chinatown. Ha ha ha.

The girl and I tussle for an hour, I shower, and as I’m ready to leave, Mama-San (I swear!) tells me to sit. She has put aside a plate of ribs for me. I have to eat them. It’s like my own grandmother is there. They are amazing, these delicately spiced, gingery, scallion-y, ribs, with flavor all the way through. You can’t find these at any of the restaurants I’ve been to, Korean or Chinese. She handed me the box with the plastic gloves, and I put them on. As I eat, I begin to sweat, and the woman I was just with (again, I swear) wipes the sweat from my brow. She stands over me, attending to me: “Do I need water?”: “Do I want rice?”; and “Is it good?”

I left feeling the guilt and shame that comes from acting out in ways that are not healthy to the rest of my life, but full of laughter at the homeyness of it all.

And yes, I am going to go back.”

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Erzengel says:

    very interesting post… but how can you speak so well of a place and no giving us directions on how to get there?

  2. Charles Star says:

    You hear that, AOL? If you want to be known as customer friendly, send your improperly retained members ribs after you fuck them.

  3. AcidReign says:

    …..Those ribs are pretty badly overcooked. That’s going to load those girls up with carcinogens, and raise the joint’s employee insurance premiums.

  4. The_Truth says:

    “You hear that, AOL? If you want to be known as customer friendly, send your improperly retained members ribs after you fuck them.”

    Best thing i have heard all day…

  5. Plasmafire says:

    I give you 5 stars for that comment Charles Star. :)

  6. cowperthwait says:

    but how can you speak so well of a place and no giving us directions on how to get there?

    You might’ve been joking, but I’m not. Consumerist is all about rewarding the good … we practically owe it to the whorehouse to give them all our whoring business now. And to do that we all need to know where to go.

  7. sixtoe says:

    Are you sure it wasn’t a very pricey rib joint with great (actually, temendous) customer service?

  8. mistress smarty says:

    Best. Post. Evar.

  9. Erzengel says:

    Im wasnt kidding. I definitely want to know… im very interested in taking my bussiness to them.

  10. Erzengel says:

    Rats, my english sucks today lol

  11. Ben Popken says:

    If you really want to know where to find these places, read the massage parlor ads in the Village Voice.