Blogobitchin!

• DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. [Craigslist]
• The public library is ready to search your house for overdue books. [I Had an Idea This Morning]
• Sprint doesn’t care about New Orleans being flooded, your credit is still expired. [A Purposeful Pirate]
• “Whenever a customer feels misled, mistreated, ignored, or coerced, then profits from that customer are bad.” [The Checkout]
• This guy was way ahead on the milk is especially fantastic bandwagon. [Bunnyspatial]

Comments

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  1. bambino says:

    OK, the Pringles guy ate a can a day. Come on, eating anything in excess, even fruit, is going to disrupt things down there just a bit.

  2. Phyltre says:

    Except, this IS what happens when most people I’ve known eat those chips. They never got into graphic detail, but it is made to coat your intestines to stop absorption of fats. Unfortunately, it does its job too well and coats everything else in the bargain.

  3. TeamSAM says:

    When olestra was approved in 1996, the FDA originally required a printed warning that read
    “This product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E and K have been added.”
    As of 2003, however the feds decided that the warning was no longer needed.
    Hooray for less government!

    http://cspinet.org/new/200410251.html

  4. TedSez says:

    The idea of a business being “addicted to bad profits” is pure genius. And it’s nice to know that the companies we hate the most really are losing money by screwing their customers.

    Of course, the good side of “bad profits” is that they make for great stories on Consumerist.

  5. Hawkins says:

    One of the best things about Olestra / Olean is the quantity of brilliant poetry that it’s inspired. Like the Haiku here. Sample:

    She’s so beautiful
    But she stained my upholstery
    At least she’s not fat

    Or dig this amazing Sonnet, found in the same place:

    Is this the oil that launched a thousand chips?
    Make haste toward that tiled, enchanted room.
    Prepare thy drawers perchance some foul thing slips,
    Or thundrous peals from out thy cornhole boom.

    Though nature’s oils sufficed from dawn of man
    For culinary functions tried and true,
    It seems that P&G technicians can
    Replace them with an oleated goo.

    And now Olestra has begun her reign.
    The Dark Queen sits and cackles in the night,
    Dispensing bouts of shooting rectal pain.
    Her fudge erupts from sphincters once held tight.

    Beware the chips that claim to be your friend.
    The Hershey squirts will get you in the end.

    -Lester McGirkendirken

  6. GenXCub says:

    As a fairly frequent eater of Fat Free Pringles, I don’t find the same problem as the guy above. Yes, as bambino said, he’s eating a can a day, but it also can have this effect if you’ve never had olestra before. Your body gets used to it. Especially if this is a person who is eating these products because they’re overweight. When i lost 60 pounds, when my diet changed, a lot of tectonic plates shift. This can be one of them…

  7. mactbone says:

    My public library lets me renew books online. I’ve entertained the notion of being a complete dick and perpetually checking out a book but it’s really not worth it.

  8. RandomHookup says:

    I used my public library like Netflix, ordering DVDs online from throughout the network to be delivered to the local branch, all for free with a week to keep them. Too many other folks did the same thing until they finally placed some limits on it. Damn those other people!!!!!!!!!

  9. Demingite says:

    I love the concept/theory of “bad profits” — I hope that catches on. (It’s classic W. Edwards Deming, by the way. He talked about “unknown and unknowable costs” — such as what happens when you treat a customer poorly — that can sink a business.)

  10. Brianron says:

    Theory of bad profits. Cross-reference: AOL.

    How many customers did AOL lose through termination or not subscribing to AOL due to Vincent and his bad experience? As Deming would note, if it was even two, then AOL ended up with a net loss of one by hard-selling the customer or faking them out with the “free 30-day extension” scam. Bad business = Out of business.