When checking the status of his Continental Frequent Flyer miles, Upgrade Travel discovered that he had been subjugated to a cattle car with the rest of Continental’s social refuse, a tattoo brand of ‘Non-Elite’ scrawled across the skin of his metaphorical forearm.
Rejected terminology for Continental Airlines’ base level Frequent Flyers?
Pleb
Riff-raff
Reject
Hose beast
And that’s just to get you rolling. Come up with your own!
Continental Wants You To Know Your Place
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When you actually fly Continental, they separate the “elites” from the “non-elites” with a separate line and a swanky carpet for the “elites.”
I said to a check-in agent once, “I’ll be over here, in the non-elite/less-than/not good enough line.” She said, “Oh, it’s not like that!” and I said “Oh, but it is. The elites are physically separated from us less-thans.”
Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches
Had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches
Had none upon thars.
Those stars weren’t so big.
They were really so small
You might think such a thing
wouldn’t matter at all.
But, because they had stars,
all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch
on the beaches.”
With as many RJ’s as they fly, how can you tell?